Don't play games. Ask him directly "Are you seeking to find a reason to disfellowship me?"
"What is your real goal in meeting with me?"
"Why have you been speaking to my wife about me? - What was you trying to find out from her that you was afraid of asking me directly?"
I always find it's best to cut to the chase on these things, and if you don't do it then he will never come out with anything so open.
If he seems to dodge a question ask "why are you dodging my question?"
If he seems to be less then open and honest, ask "Why do I sense you are not being open and honest in your answer?"
I think you get the picture.
Splash