Posts by safe4kids

17

Need Advice From Abuse Victims or People Who Counsel Abusers

by imallgrowedup in

i never thought i would be writing a post like this, but i am really torn, and i need some insight.

i know this is a little long, but i really need advice.

i drive in a carpool picking up neighborhood kids from school and then drop them home.

safe4kids

allgrowedup,

I'm sorry I didn't see this thread sooner, I can only imagine how hard it was for you to worry about it for an entire day. I work in Child Protective services here in Florida and I would have called in a report just as you did. It's scary to do something like that, and I commend you for your bravery in trying to make sure that a child is safe. I'm assuming that you were able to make your report anonymously so that will keep the family from knowing that it was you and hopefully won't prevent you from being able to keep the child in your car pool so that you can monitor things.

If CPS felt that the situation warranted investigation, one of the first things they probably will do is take the child to doctors who specialize in determining the type/causes of the bruising. He will also be interviewed to make sure that the explanation given by him and the family is consistent and, of course, they will check past records to see if prior reports have been called in on this family. In other words, they will look at the entire picture and make a determination. Hopefully, this isn't a case of abuse, but if it is, your efforts could not only prevent further abuse but could even save the child's life. Sorry if that sounds melodramatic, but I've seen too much recently to think that anymore. The kids in your car pool are lucky to have someone like you...the more eyes there are on kids, the less chance of one slipping through the cracks.

Dana

24

Would you leave your kids with your abusive parents?

by Nosferatu in

i've been contemplating this for a number of years now.

when i have kids, would i let my mother babysit them knowing how she treated me as a child?

has she changed?.

safe4kids

Hi Nos,

Several points jump out at me. First, you stated:

my mother quit beating me in my early teens. This caused me to ask myself, "Has she changed?".

I agree with gumby; that's not evidence of change, more likely evidence of fear that you would indeed fight back. Second, and this I find even more concerning, you said:

She told me that she may have been a little strict in the beginning

This is minimization of what she did; saying that she learned it was 'wrong' in no way negates the fact that she has not accepted full responsibility for what she did and that it was abusive. Perhaps she's changed, then again, perhaps not. In my opinion, children are too vulnerable and precious to allow them to stay with someone who may have a propensity towards violence and abuse.

One other thing to consider is that if you left your children with her, and if she injured them, you could very well be held partly liable in that you know what her history is. I think that your gut is steering you in the right direction. Why risk it?

Dana

31

Joy from Death ... A Daughter's Remembrance

by outnfree in

jw
friends

first, i want to thank those of you who learned of my mother?s recent death and quietly sent messages of comfort without violating my need to keep the event unknown to the board in general until a time of my choosing.

that time is now here.

i had, of course, written here

safe4kids

Dear (((((((Brenda)))))),

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom...I know that you must miss her a great deal and it is never easy to let go of someone we love. I am really glad that you chose to share your mom's experiences with us. As has been mentioned by others, I am also not sure of what happens at death, of if there is another "side", et cetera, but your post was very interesting as well as heartwarming. Much love and heartfelt condolences to you and the family...I hope the kids are doing okay, please give them my love.

Dana

38

Angharad passed her exam too !

by Simon in

jw
friends

.

she's just looked up her results online and found out she passed her latest open university exam.. well done love, i knew you'd do it !

again, another box to tick on the immigration forms to get a few more points ...

safe4kids

Way to go ((((Harry))))!!! Congratulations and well done. I know that it hasn't been easy on you, taking care of your three "children" (Simon) AND trying to find time to study AND keep up with the board, but you did it! I'm very proud of you and hope that you are as well.

Love,

Dana

33

Anyone seen Return of the King yet??

by Gretchen956 in

jw
friends

i am chomping at the bit to go to see rotk!!

you won't be giving anything away, because i believe i have read the series upwards of 20 or more times over the years, but how was it?

thoughts?.

safe4kids

I took my 12 year old son to see it last night as he was chomping at the bit. We both agreed that this was the best one yet. And yes, Aragorn was fine, but Legolas....ahhhhhhh, Legolas; all the women in the theater clapped when he appeared onscreen

Dana

67

Praise Bill, I got my MCSD !

by Simon in

jw
friends

as per my previous "proclamations of self-achievement" .

i passed my exam !

wohoo ... passed another exam !.

safe4kids

Most Excellent News Si Congrats and well done to both you and Harry...and yes, we WILL be monitoring this space to make sure you celebrate properly.

Dana

3

A HUGE "thank you" to Si, Harry, Mulan, and Big Red

by safe4kids in

jw
friends

thank you sooooo much for the special things i found in my mail!!!

and not to be forgotten, (((((((((joy))))))))...you're such a sweetie, and thank you for your generous offer...i'm totally bummed that we're not going to be able to do it, but please know that it meant a great deal to me.

love,.

safe4kids

Thank you SOOOOO much for the special things I found in my mail!!! You guys almost had me I don't really know how to articulate how I felt to have you all do what you did to recognize my graduation...it really touched my THANK YOU!!!!!

And not to be forgotten, (((((((((JOY))))))))...you're such a sweetie, and thank you for your generous offer...I'm totally bummed that we're not going to be able to do it, but please know that it meant a great deal to me.

Love,

Dana

24

My tree is up and decorated and

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i have stopped fiddling with it... for now.

hubby says i drive him nuts because i keep moving all the ornaments around.

two pictures - the first has all the house lights on and uses the flash .

safe4kids

LOL @ Joy being glad her ornaments don't fall down

We sorta have a tradition of going and picking out a real tree every year; as much as I would love the convenience of a fake tree, there's still the little kid in me that gets a huge kick out of picking out a live one and bringing it home. And I LOVE the smell! As for the cats...well, this year our tree looks pretty weird b/c our new kitten won't leave the ornaments alone...so now there are NONE on the bottom third of the tree...*sigh* Maybe next year.

Dana

31

Thinking of the kids at Christmas

by Angharad in

jw
friends

our two kids were so excited this morning going to school.

this afternoon was the christmas party.

so they were all set with party clothes in a bag to change into and their assigned food/drink they had to bring.

safe4kids

Hey (((((Harry))))) Nice post, but I've come to expect that of you

I feel sad for the little witness guy in my neighborhood, too. It makes me remember what it was like growing up a dub kid. I'm so incredibly glad that my kids don't have to suffer like most of us here did. I'm also learning, though, that it's not just witness kids that have it bad this time of year...for some families already battling dysfunction of one kind or another, this is a very stressful season for them, and especially the children. It should be a magical time for kids but unfortunately for some it isn't. So remember folks, when you see the Angel trees or holiday meal packages, et cetera, while you're out shopping, remember that buying a gift or making some type of donation can make all the difference in the lives of kids who aren't able to be home with their families right now or whose parents can't afford to give them something special.

Dana

24

My tree is up and decorated and

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i have stopped fiddling with it... for now.

hubby says i drive him nuts because i keep moving all the ornaments around.

two pictures - the first has all the house lights on and uses the flash .

safe4kids

Lee,

Beautiful tree! It looks like you've been amassing ornaments for a bit, hey? I love pulling out our boxes with decorations and rediscovering ornaments that the kids have made, or that otherwise hold special meaning for me. I'd post a shot of our tree but it looks kinda funky, LOL...we've had to remove all of the decorations from the bottom fourth of it as our kitten (Conan the Barbarian) won't leave them alone. I'm just grateful that he hasn't yet tried to climb it!

Dana