my name is donna.
i was directed to this forum through freeminds.org by randy watters.
i found his site to be very helpful to me and i highly recommend it to other newbies.
Donna,
What a remarkable story. You are a very strong person.
Welcome to this forum. Most of us here lend an ear and have our say. We tell our experiences and ask our questions.
Although I do not share your "religious" experience, it is obvious that your new found faith has given you the strength you need to live this life.
Love and Light,
Karen
i hate to see people get banned or silenced - even the people who are causing trouble.
when it comes to regulations, i could almost be described as libertarian.
because of this i would like to make a proposal - instead of leaving the banning power in the hands of a central authority, i propose that banning be placed in the hands of the individual.
Simon,
I had not read your post when I responded.
I think your ideas have some merit. You would have to find us a lovely "tomatoe gif".
Karen
i hate to see people get banned or silenced - even the people who are causing trouble.
when it comes to regulations, i could almost be described as libertarian.
because of this i would like to make a proposal - instead of leaving the banning power in the hands of a central authority, i propose that banning be placed in the hands of the individual.
Wow, if only that premise would really work here.
...Everyone, everywhere, being totally happy all the time.
Realistically, ...unrealistic.
Everyone of us has a lapse in etiquette at times. We aren't perfect. I would hate to "ban" someone, or have someone "ban" me because of that. I might miss out on a very excellent post from them.
I would rather have someone just tell me that I am being a jerk or have been offensive, so I could correct myself and post responsibly. Sort of like "a jerk alert" site, where you could make an expression of the exact offense, and then let it go at that. There would be no bandwagon to jump on, and no undue abuse of the offender.
The more the offender offended, the less folks would read their posts. Then, if they get too out of hand, Simon can erase them.
Karen
i'm outa here.
i need a break.
all the bloody infighting and then i'm attacked for asking simon to move something that i knew was harmful to someone who was abused.
Mimilly, ((((HUGS))))
You have my support. I care about you because you care about others, me included. Don't be gone too long. We have to stick together here.
Friend,
Karen
i'm getting married on oct.13.
i only have less than two months to get ready for the wedding, and i didn't have anything ready last week.
as you may know i am da'd.
Sunshine ((((((HUGS))))))
This should be the happiest time of your life.
And yet, it is bittersweet. So the recent KM said that JW could not eat with anyone that is "with Satan"? I'm certainly not making light, but would this rule mean that JW's need to stop associating with themselves!
I mean, all the recent publicity has really shown them for the hypocrites they are. They are no different from any of the other religions they condeme.
In our situation, we should fear associating with them, as they really do seem to be a tool of evil.
Keep your head up high. It is your mother's problem. It is the JW problem. Continue to try to include her in everything. Try to extend your love to her and treat her normally. Let her keep declining if she so desires. Don't let her make you feel unworthy and guilty. And, tell her that you will not stand for her verbal bashing and labeling and that if she can't treat you with love and dignity, than she should be quiet. Tell her that you are a worthwhile human being. And, you keep smiling and be happy!
((((((((Sunshine))))))))
Karen
ever since i came to this board i have been constantly amazed at the great propensity for bickering and moaning in this place by a certain minority of posters who might know better, you're so politically correct some of you.
you ruddy do me head in sometimes, i don't know what it is, maybe you think you are being clever, but it always seems to be the same ones that make the same disparaging remarks over and over again, not clever, just exceedingly boring.. so what if some posters get up your nose, what the blinkin' hec does it matter?
you know is attacked over and over again here, so is janh plus one or two others, so ruddy what?
Celtic Mark,
You say this so very well. You say everything that I too have been encountering here on the forum. There is simply no excuse to attack a fellow poster trying to make an honest expression in the form of a statement, a question, or a problem.
I will not give up. I will continue here. But, still, I notice all the things you do and wonder if perhaps some posters need some help in the art of communication. It seems like many just want to "be heard", no matter what they say. Being a JW really does damage people. Pehaps some just have a really difficult time "saying what they want to say", and it comes out as meaningless chatter. I could say that this might have to do with being "young", but I have noticed that I cannot truthfully make that call either. Age does not seem to have a baring.
It isn't really funny, but perhaps they will eventually find a separate place to post , called "bickering, arguing, name calling, maoning, groaning, complaining, etc.". Some place they would feel comfortable in, and the rest of us, who didn't want to "listen" to them, would know NOT to go.
Right On!
Karen
what makes an individual?
what makes you what you are today?
is this the real you?
Ahhh, Celtic, this thread is right up my alley.
I am the way I am right now because of the event of my epiphany in January of this year.
Before that time, I was still essentially me. I looked the same, spoke the same, and felt the same about many things. The only difference was, I was spiritually damaged. I was in limbo. I had no true inner joy or fulfilment.
When I was young, my cognitive training and my own genetic makeup set me up to be a very shy, tentative person. I was afraid to make decisions. I wanted to be loved and accepted, but never felt as if I was. I was always on the sidelines, watching everyone else have fun.
There was a very deep conscience that prodded me along, and I had great motivation to be a good person, because I feared hellfire. Then when JW's came on the scene, they got rid of the hellfire fear, but replaced it with the Armegeddon fear. Living in fear and guilt is not healthy. Living in a disfunctional family is not healthy. Being a JW in a cult was not healthy. It only fed into the emotionally scarred being that I was.
I lived much of my life not knowing the true me, that is, the inner self that could feel free to live life to the fullest, and not worry so much or live in fear and guilt. I did this through much self study and going back, way back and "retraining" my belief system, as to what was really valid and what was not, and how it shaped me and what I needed to change. This took years and years. But, then, boom, out of nowhere, the beauty of my true self came forth and I felt like my soul had at last been freed within my being. I had entrapped my own soul because of how I was living my life. I wasn't really living. I was just existing.
Now I am so completely happy and full of joy. As I've said here before, this has nothing to do with any religion and everything to do with understanding my own spirituallity. This does not mean that anything at all has really changed. My perception of the world that I exist in has evolved.
Thank you for allowing me to express myself here.
Love and Light,
Karen
some say the end of time.
comes with drums and bells.
or swarms of killer bees.
Sundialer,
I love your prose writing.
Time ends in all ways.
Every second that passes, is the end of a measured time.
We need not fear the ending of moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, centuries. Time is relative.
We have the now.
We can exchange thoughts and wishes and dreams. How wonderful. I will look for you again.
Love and Light,
Karen
Edited by - Sentinel on 19 August 2002 12:9:48
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since i have been posting on this site i found a lot of posts interesting and vice versa,but i have also noticed that cetain ones on here arent helping themselves by continually looking at faults in their former beliefs,i find that this cant help you as a victim, im not saying i am not guilty of doing this i did do it at first but then realised it wasnt helping me overcome the trauma of my former beliefs, surely by trying to focus on the future and on how you can improve your state of mind maybe by self help books,counselling,and maybe speaking to ones on here who can possibly help you get through what they have been through, i mean surely you want to break free from the chains you used to be in.. dont get me wrong im not being harsh but only trying to help others,i mean jw.com is an open discussion forum to a degree,i also find it enjoyable on here,sometimes its not enjoyable because certain individuals are quite negative about views they dont agree on and i do expect that.. so has jw.com helped you or hasnt it.. are you addicted to this site and cant live without it.. also i do tend to take my previous beliefs lightly and have a joke about the things that were taught and went on,i try not to take it to serious at least im free from it and have my own mind that makes me so happy.
Yes, this forum has helped me a great deal.
I knew I wasn't alone, but I felt alone much of the time. I had no one to talk to that really understood what I've been through and all my experiences relating to the JW experience. This forum has fiven me that outlet. I can read posts and reply. I can post my own thought or question, and people respond (usually ) I can help someone now that is suffering because of being df'd, and all the heartache that accompanies the rejection and shunning by family and friends. I had to endure all of that totally alone.
This forum has been a real positive thing for me. I can give as well as take. That is why I appreciate all the work that Simon and his "helpers" do to keep it going, keep it a nice place to be.
I am thankful every day. So is my hubby. He tried to be helpful through our marriage but just couldn't understand it all. There was just no way he could, not having the JW experience, and not really knowing anything about them until we got together. He is so glad that I have "a place of comfort" now, as he felt so helpless for so long to help me up out of a very dark and desolate place.
Love and Light,
Karen
If the Elders went after me now, they would be about 21 years too late! Actually, I began to slide away as early as 1970, but went to just enough meetings and a few hours of door to door and ministry school just to keep in touch with family and friends. I had ceased believing their doctrines and their harsh disciplinary methods of df'g, shunning and rejection, having found so many inconsistencies, but was not emotionally strong enough to pay the high cost of letting go. I was very insecure and had very low self-esteem.
I didn't realize that by doing this to myself, living a lie, I was really harming my inner spirituality and damaging my soul. By the time 1980 rolled around, I still wasn't sleeping and had terrible nightmares, and my marriage was in turmoil. I was still trying to be a good person, but had stopped participating in the ministry school and door to door service and my meeting attendence was very sparce. I was killing myself slowly. I had to make a decision.
Finally, in 1981, I got off the merry-go-round. I figured if I didn't make a stand and begin to try to live my life true to my heart that I would just be a miserable, unhappy, and ill person for the rest of my life.
During all this time, nearly ten years, not one "call" was made on me by any Elder or any concerned brother. My mother was so angry at me for "not believing" that she was seeing to it that I was basically labeled and slandered unjustly, and so my "friends" were "not available" any longer. So much for Christian love and concern. She must have thought this was some type of "tough love????" I suppose. It wasn't until I wrote my own Disassociation letter to the congregation and to the headquarters of the WTBTS that I felt truly free. I never got any written response to either.
Shortly after they received my correspondence, four Elders did come to my home and I wouldn't allow them inside. I spoke to them in a very forthright, sincere, honest hearted manner on the front porch. They appeared to be very sad and ashamed of the way I had been treated, especially by my own mother. These are people that I had known since I was thirteen years old. When they left, two of them were crying. They told me that I was always welcome to come back and that "I knew where the truth was". That was it. I was never sent a letter calling me in for disfellowshipping. What could they disfellowship me for? And, there was no announcement made.
However, despite the fact that no announcement was publicly made, everyone shunned me and rejected me anyway. You would have thought that I was a heathen, or someone that had done a horrible, dispicable thing. I have always wondered about this. I blamed my mother and her friends for spreading malicious gossip throughout the congregation and turning my friends against me. When they shunned me in the grocery store or department store, and when they crossed the street to avoid passing me by directly, I knew that I was paying the price for my decision. However, I never once confronted any of them or put them on the spot. I just left them be. It was their choice--their loss. I just began to put the past behind me and move forward with a new directive...HEALING myself emotionally and physically. I have never once regreted my decision.
Karen
Edited to correct spelling
Edited by - Sentinel on 19 August 2002 11:57:26
