Welcome my sister. As I read your post, chills just went down my spine........three of three, now four of four. All One with the One. Complete.
I did not know that mom called you again. The second call must have been worse for you than the first. But, then, I think, perhaps......she wants to know the damage she has caused. She didn't like it much that I was kind and calm with her. I had to do it even as it welled up in my gut and throat; I had to stiffle the weeping, the great fierce anger. ...could not give her the satisfaction. No victim here.
So many emotions, and yet, as you say, "Love and Compassion is the Universal Language". But, how will they understand if they cannot "hear", and how will they "hear" when they will not listen. All through this life of mine, lost, seeking acceptance and love, and instead being misunderstood, rejected, pushed away, neglected, abused, abandoned...from everyone....but YOU. All of you.
Ahhh, and Dream Weaver, one of my haunting favorites...."Help me to forget today's pain..Though the dawn may be coming soon...There still may be some time. ..Fly me away to the bright side of the moon....And meet me on the other side...."
....so true for me now...so very true. But, like you, we make our own happiness and today was a happy Tuesday. Life goes on and life is good. I don't understand the meaning of it all, and yet, like you, I feel that something is taking place and "weaving" itself through our lives. Some force, MAKING things happen. Better to just "let go, and let be".
My biggest drawback in life has always been the terrifying fear of "letting go"...Does our mother have all these same feelings, and hides them under the protective cover of the borg? Is she too, afraid to let go?
Just the other evening, Gary said to me "what in god's name were you in your prior life, that you should have to endure such horendous emotional turmoil in this one. I feel so sorry for you?" Without even pausing I said, "because it had to be. I had to finish it all this time." Neither of us understood why I had said that. We both just got really, really quiet.
Survivor, you are the light at the end of the tunnel. Your posts are so inspiring and comforting.
Time to dream the dream and sleep the sleep....
Sentinel