Posts by zophar

28

I'm getting disfellowshipped

by raven in

hi everyone, a bit of an update here on my continuing disaster of a situation.. (refer to my previous posts for the full story) my mom met with me yesterday for dinner, it was nice.. however, she brought up the fact that because i live with my boyfriend and how everything has gone down, i will be disfellowshipped.. i think the elders basically have enough proof of this.. due to the anonymous tipper (still have no clue who it was, i live in another town 100's of miles away from my old congregation territory), and my mom telling them.

i'm not sure when they will announce it, or if they will contact me prior.. at this point i feel so emotionally dead i don't care- on the other hand, i don't want to be disfellowshipped because i do not want to loose a relationship with my mom.

that is the whole reason i tried fading out.. .

zophar

The fact that your mother had lunch with you knowing your situation is proof that she WANTS to have a relationship with you isn't it? She WANTS to show love to you because that is the way we are made.

Just tell your mother that you love her unconditionally. And, just as she has the right to decide how she lives her life so do you but that does NOT affect your love for her. Let her know you will always love her regardless of her religion. Then, ask her if she REALLY thinks Jesus believes we should disown our family. His brothers were not believers and yet there is NO proof that Jesus ever shunned them. And, they had Jesus himself in their family!

I agree that in your situation I would not pursue legal recourse. The religion is going to do what they do and it only highlights your opposition. That is probably not the best thing for your mom to see. I think your mom is really hurting too. She probably only reported you because she thought she had to. Your continuing to tell her you love and need her will do the most to break down this unnatural barrier her religion is imposing on her.

I wish you the best. You never know what can happen.

19

disfellowshipped wife, husband still a jw

by thereishope in

i'm new here and haven't introduced myself yet, but have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and learned so much!

quick first question: if i get disfellowshipped for researching info on websites other than jw.org (the official website), how can i expect to be treated by my husband still in the truth?

ie what will he be told by the elders about how to treat me?

zophar

Have the elders made any shepherding calls on you or talked about your field service report?

33

I'm still on my JWN holidays but had to pop back to share this experience.

by nicolaou in

i'm a postman with the royal mail and was assigned to train a new starter yesterday.

my line manager introduces me to 'dave', within seconds my jw radar was on maximum!

in his mid to late 30's, politely spoken and with that haircut - i just knew it.. the post he'd applied for was saturdays only, he said he did a lot of volunteer work.

zophar

Really appreciate your ability to empathize. Good of you to recognize how naive a JW can be in a "worldly" setting.

It may be eye opening for him to find that you can find a real friend who is not a JW.

22

How Many Elders And Ministerial Servants Are There In Your Congregation?

by Village Idiot in

i'm curious to see how much manpower a little congregation - a hundred?

- requires to keep it running.

zophar

There are 3 elders and 6 MS in the local congregation.

20

28 years

by PLAYGROUND in

earlier i posted about my loveless marriage.

i was baptized at a very young age, and during that time period i was having sex.yes i made a dedication knowing i was still practicing fornication.

i had raging hormones since my youth.

zophar

It is NOT Jehovah's Witnesses who forgive sin, it is God.

Instead of talking to elders about this, talk to Jehovah about it. He is the only one who really has authority over you. If there is a God and he is really a God of Love then he understands your situation and the torture you are going through.

You sound like a person who still believes in God so why don't you entrust yourself to his mercy and leave the rest alone. Your religion only has authority over you if you let it.

14

The Kingdom Hall

by TheLiberator in

i know i have mentioned this on other posts.

as a born-in, i was obsessed with the watchtower.

it was god's organization.

zophar

Pete...

What a balanced reply. Well thought out and reasoned.

There are so many things we could get involved with that are far worse than a religious cult. What about the Manson Cult? What about the bloodguilt of the Nazi's etc. It doesn't mean that the religion didn't do us harm but we can stop that harm in time.

Our motives while we were JW's were pure for most of us and we had a real desire to help others and to worship God. There are probably about the same number of Christians among JW's as many other religions.

How right you are about the black and white thinking. We need to stop it!

17

The real reason so many witnesses end up here....

by stuckinarut2 in

why do so many witnesses end up coming to forums like this?.

no doubt it is because of the fact that the society disallows any form of sincere questioning of teachings or doctrines or history etc.... if there was open discussion allowed - free of repercussions and punishment, then no one would feel stifled.

if genuine concerns could be raised, then no one would feel smothered or unable to share thoughts... then in turn many would not leave.... but due to the high control, authoritarian culture the society has created, many feel trapped, and end up searching outside of official channels...and leaving the society.....

zophar

Good post.

I was thinking how restrictive the Catholic Church doctrine is. No birth control, no divorce etc. and yet it doesn't appear to affect people at all. Why? The Church doesn't try to enforce every rule and make people conform or get DF or excommunicated. So you can go to Church, worship, fellowship even if you don't agree with everything.

The same principle does not apply to JW. It seems their mission is not only to set guidelines or rules they think are right, but they have to enforce those upon those who disagree. That stifles freedom of thought and action and drives people away.

JW's who seem to do best would be the ones who "go to Church" at the Kingdom Hall. Then they go home and lead the life the feel called or compelled to lead.

They don't give JW's control of their every movement. Unfortunately, because it is a high control group demanding ENFORCEMENT, these people often find themselves at odds with the elders simply for living their own lives and making their own decisions.

Wonder why JW's even have a conscience if it is so unnecessary??

60

These are Bernie supporters waiting for their free stuff

by Morning Warship in

jw
friends

garbage removed.

zophar

Why isn't Bernie winning the minority vote if he is just for free stuff?

What an interesting mix of people the reporter decided to interview. I wonder, is there ANYONE who deserves assistance?

21

Why Me?

by Grey Goose in

jw
friends

it the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months.

out of all the jws i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?.

i am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer.

zophar

I'm sure that children who learn there is no Santa Claus or tooth fairy go through some trauma too. They seem to be able to adjust quickly to reality though.

Unfortunately, many of us were so sure we had all the answers for 30, 40, 50 years or more before reality shattered our perception. I guess I can only say, I'm glad I'm not in my 60's still waiting for Santa Claus.

Who knows what will shape my thinking in the future, but I doubt very seriously it will involve a cult or any absolute black and white thinking process. For that I am grateful.

2

Actions speak louder than words

by Sabin in

gday to you all.

i have had a thought i would like to share with you.

i cannot remember who it was, but i believe it has been mentioned (maybe paul grundy) that if you wish to null & void your baptism because you were so young when it took place that the wtbts will not allow it if you have been participating in the believes & practises of the religion when you were older & able to make a decision of your own free will.

zophar

Ah, if life were really just that black and white, right or wrong!

Example, I disapprove of excessive violence against young black men by Police authorities in the US when it happens. A good example of this for me is the Eric Garner case where a black man died for a very minor offense. However, I don't agree with Al Sharpton who I believe exaggerates at best and actually lies about white on black crime. So I go to Washington DC to march in support of Black Lives Matter, does that mean I'm approving of everything they stand for? If I were to vote for a presidential candidate, do I have to agree with every one of his policy positions? Finally, does every Catholic attending Mass agree with every doctrine of the Catholic Church?

I just don't think that life is that black and white, there are shades of gray and each person has to make his or her own decision about these things.