hoser
I'm really sorry to read your experience. None of what you say surprises me at all. I fully agree with your opening statement that there is an entire lost generation of jw males shut out of the program. In the early days, and even now, there have been many elders who have viewed being an elder as a form of honour and coming of age in the org. I've seen too many elders take themselves too seriously, to the point that they willingly went against what the Society (WT Headquarters) said to them in favour of their own man made direction when they didn't agree and then when the circuit overseer visited they changed some rules back to how it should have been and they always pretended to be overly encouraging, overly enthusiastic about the ministry, which was their form of ass kissing to avoid scrutiny. Then once the circuit overseer left, it was back to square one. Sometimes congregation publishers complained to the co, who always told them to have a "more positive mindset" or "wait one Jehovah". Then he would mention at our meeting with him during the visit about all the complaints to confirm if they were true. Of course, the body always denied the accusations and claimed some publishers had "mental issues". In time, we did have a brute of a circuit overseer who saw through everything and cracked the whip, humiliating all the pompous elders I worked with. Once he left, it only made them quieter, more cynical and sinister, and one of them came off as an elder due to "illness". Some of the older elders I knew still serve, and are hanging on for dear life, still believing the end will come soon and faking all the smiles and laughter to blend in with the new JW Broadcast generation when I remember quite clearly the self righteous bigots I had to work with. Their entire personality is fake and self serving, with no love of God in them. Their existence in the org is simply to keep the show running, because they have nothing else better to do so late on in their life. Leaving would not only destroy their decades long family ties, it would also probably kill them off prematurely due to the fact the idea of having "the truth" seems to keep them alive for a little longer.
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the stupid elder politics anymore. I'm equally glad I don't have to kiss the filthy asses of those ugly circuit overseers who just caused factions for the elders. The unity thing is just a facade. The GB are splitting at the seams frantically to keep everyone in line, but they know it's impossible to completely achieve this.