Posts by scratchme1010

13

An Odd Request from Our Ex-JW Son

by TMS in

my wife and i, both out of the religion for nearly twenty years, live in the same border town as our 44 year old only son.

we have scant contact with our numerous jw relatives, although a handful of clever "double life" nieces and nephews socialize with our son.. we care for our six year old grandson weekdays while our single parent son makes a living.

we've been infinitely better grandparents than we were parents, primarily because of our exit from a high control cult, but also because of life experience.

scratchme1010

A lot of young parents believe that exposing their children to everything there is (of course, age appropriate things and in a language that they can relate to) to let them decide what/who they are, but also because hiding certain things that people believe or do creates distrust in parents.

I wish I had a parent who took the time to explain things (even the JW stuff). At a tender age I was hearing about bestiality, fornication, horses being followed by death, you get the point, with no context and in a language I didn't understand.

I think "teaching" is a strong word for letting them know about the existence of the bible and its content. Being exposed to the reality of what the world contains is not a bad thing.

34

So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped in

she turned one today, and 36 earlier this week.

we planned a big party, big for two people that have never thrown a party before.

we rented a church fellowship hall because 1. it was nice and big and affordable and 2. it was kind of awesome to throw a party in a place we would have never ventured in our previous life.

scratchme1010

That's awesome! Happy birthday.

44

What crime should elders report?

by kramer in

jw
friends

so, i am trying to get my head around what the right position of elders should be when they come across crime is.. i think i get the issuess around clergy confidentiality - and how that might potentially be breached when they talk about it to other elders, let alone the police.. but if people are saying that elders - or clergy of another faith should report crime to the police when it is confessed to the, then where are the boundaries.. so if someone says they should report to police on a confessed example of child abuse, that's one thing.. how about reporting to police consensual sex between a 19year old and 15 year old - which is statutory rape in the uk.

how about criminal fraud if they come across it.

assault on a congregant?.

scratchme1010

Just trying to think through the issue, and input would be appreciated

Very simple. They should report every single crime that they come across or know of. Just because they claim not to be part of the world, it doesn't mean that they actually are. They are citizens of their own country and have the exact same responsibilities that everybody else. Period.

38

My son is coming home to me soon. Yey!!!

by KateWild in

my son sent me a wonderful song a month ago on this thread.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5704271907520512/my-wonderful-son.

it's amazing how a bad experience can trigger action.

scratchme1010

Congratulations. It is a small good thing among many others surrounding him.

Not to be pessimistic, but remember, he's 16 and a teenager looking for his place in this world. It's great that he decided to live with you, but please don't let this become his game. If you have a disagreement later, he should not just then go to dad, and then start using you two for his advantage and do as he pleases.

Just keep that in mind. Sometimes people get ideas.

36

But where else should we go? Can you answer this question?

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

having watched many jc youtube videos one question that gets asked is "where else would you go?".

in other words if not jehovah's witnesses then what other religion or organisation would you go to?.

it's one that i have trouble answering, what would you say?.

scratchme1010

Having watched many JC YouTube videos one question that gets asked is "where else would you go?". In other words if not Jehovah's witnesses then what other religion or organisation would you go to?
It's one that I have trouble answering, what would you say?

To me it's not really that deep. That's the oldest trick in the book that cults use to gain converts. True, some people may not have an answer to that question, but what they are doing is throwing a smoke cloud to what I believe is the important thing to consider, which is this: Why are you feeling like you need a place to go? What exactly is triggering that need for looking/finding some place to belong? What need do you have that makes you start that quest? What is missing that makes you feel like you need to ask questions and look for answers?

Most people address the need to belong somewhere without stepping back a little ans ask themselves why, what are they feeling that many other people don't, that makes them go look for answers? Why do you have to "go somewhere"? Looking for what? Support, company, comfort, answers, a sense of safety from the state of the world, an explanation to their suffering, hope for a better future?

I truly believe that the most important part is not finding a place to go, but asking yourself why are you looking for a place to go in the first place, and then address the answer to that question.

47

Don't have sexual fantasies! Today's watchtower...

by purrpurr in

the watchtower today says not to think of sex, or to have sexual fantasies.

i'm just wondering... how many people in the hall hearing this watchtower today would be having sexual fantasies?

sitting there thinking about sister hottie or brother hunky ?.

scratchme1010

The Watchtower today says not to think of sex, or to have sexual fantasies. I'm just wondering... how many people in the hall hearing this Watchtower today would be having sexual fantasies? Sitting there thinking about sister hottie or brother hunky ?

As humans with functional sexual organs it's practically impossible to not think about sex it's how we are built. The Borg are basically setting the sheep up to fail.

And do people really go to the elders about their sexual fantasies? Which is what the Watchtower is telling them to do?

What I find extremely irresponsible, disrespectful and dangerous from them saying things like that, is the fact that there are people out there with mental health issues, some of which come from sexual abuse and sexual trauma. Statements like this can trigger a number of neurotic guilt related issues in some people. This causes harm to some people.

The WT can't care less about harming people with severe issues, and there are many people (or at least there were back when i was in) in that organization who join because of their issues, wanting to bring peace of mind from the wrong source. It is very irresponsible from their part to expect people to not have their bodies and mind function the way they are wired. But it's just appalling that they don't even consider that there are people in their congregations with deeper issues related to their sexuality or with sexual abuse, where things like this can make things worse for them.

Then at the same time, they have no problem constantly talking about fornication, adultery, homosexuality, rape, etc, as the Bible has so many graphic descriptions of sexual acts.

75

I came here three years ago for support and to make friends

by KateWild in

jw
friends

this site is such a great and valuable resource and simon is to be commended for running it for so long.

when i first came i was in such a bad state and really needed support and friendship.

so many posters commented on my threads and showed genuine care some are real life friends, some are facebook friends, some i talk to on the phone and some are forum friends.. i have just realised though that everyone online is not your friend.

scratchme1010

My two cents. I'm not your friend, nor your enemy as I just joined this group very recently. I am not offended by your post, and I am the kind of person that can handle things that are not too pleasant to hear.

There are a few things about online forums in general that everyone should keep in mind:

1 - Anyone can join this forum claiming that is here for support and that is a JW or ex-JW and there's absolutely no way of knowing if that person is telling the truth. That opens the doors for all kinds of people to join the forum.

2 - You never know what people are going through, you never know the state of mind of people when they type anything in these forums. You never know what's of people's minds, their intentions, their issues, and you never know what triggers anger or other negative emotions in people. Also, people can change their minds about how they feel about a given person.

3 - Becoming or acting tribal (I'm friends with this and that, but not friends with this and that) looks and sounds a lot like the JW practice of disfellowshipping people. I don't think that's healthy in thins particular type of forum.

4 - Relationships can be mended and can improve (granted, they can degrade too). I truly believe that posting negative comments about a particular person (even if you are truly hurt and it seems like you are very hurt) is not going to promote support for the other person or you.

My rule is that if there's a post or poster I don't feel brings positive support to me, I just let it be. If a person changes around me, I try to find out why, but if I get attitude, I just walk away (or stop acknowledging that person, unless the person attacks me, then I set some boundaries).

Something I'd suggest to you is to look at the fact that people do change, people may not have your best interest at heart, people my try to use you, some people are crazy... in other words, this forum is no different than the entire universe outside of it. Also, Singling out one person in a negative light may create an atmosphere where nobody gets support, which is the main purpose of this forum.

22

Finally "they" have reinstated me! that was easy!!!

by Prometheus in

it was rather quick one.

in just few months and after attending all of their meetings and giving them a nice show, i'm back to the org!!!

(what a relief-sarcastic laugh) .

scratchme1010

Congratulations? I guess I'm missing some background stroy.

17

exposed 3 jw's in front of my jw dad

by JunkYardDog in

jw
friends

on a road trip with my jw dad and stopped at the rest stop.

this jw lady walked up to me with a craptower.

big mistake.

scratchme1010

My father is in a very weak health state. That's the only reason why I wouldn't do that in front of him, you know, being decent human being and all. However, had he been in better shape, I'd actually be looking for the opportunity to do that.

Don't know about your father, JunkYardDog, but mine was the typical born-again weirdo fanatic.

34

If God is the Creator, who created God or how did he evolve?

by KateWild in

if god is the creator, who created god or how did he evolve?.

scratchme1010

The answer is actually quite simple: There isn't such thing as "God".