LHS123, welcome to this forum.
Believe me, we feel your pain and distress. Many of us have experienced, or are still going through, the same kind of realization; that this Organization known as Watchtower / Jehovah's Witnesses has nothing to do with God. Depending on how much of your life you have invested into serving this organization and its leadership's doctrinal whims, your awakening to what we usually call here "the truth about the truth" (TTATT) can be emotionally devastating. Many of us have asked: "OMG what have I done with my life? And my children's lives?" This is to say, you're not alone and here you'll find support.
You'll find that each person's mileage will vary. Some have completely lost their faith in God / Jehovah and Jesus, in various degrees. Some still find ways to salvage their belief and go on searching for meaning and purpose and comfort in another religion. Some are just happy to keep a personal relationship with Jehovah, reasoning that it's not his fault that this organization has become hopelessly corrupted. We all go through various stages of anger towards this organization and its leadership, because we have been fooled, and who enjoys that?
You must be aware that, as per Jehovah's Witnesses doctrine as dictated by the Governing Body, this website and JWFacts.com are indeed apostate websites. Yes, it's about websites like this that they're so vitriolic about. However, that is only true if you accept their definition of "apostate". They will have the Witnesses believe that departing from the teachings of the Governing Body is apostasy against the God of the Bible, when, in reality, it is THEM who are the veritable apostates, because they teach made-up doctrines as if they have biblical support, when they only do with the Scriptures what other religions have done for millennia - twist them for their own purposes of dominating over others. The Governing Body demonizes apostates because that's the way propaganda works - when you dehumanize your enemy, you stop seeing him as a human being, and so it's easy to create feelings of fear and abhorrence towards them; this has one sole purpose: That the sincere, gullible Witness who blindly nods to whatever the Governing Body says never gets in contact with what those who left have to say about the Watchtower Society. By controlling the information, they control what their members know, and manipulate how they think. But the internet is a game changer. And they are right about fearing the voice of dissenters. The Watchtower has more skeletons on their closets than a mass grave in a war zone. Take your time to do unbiased research and you'll easily come to that conclusion. The vilified "apostates" are simply people like you, who once were indoctrinated and at some point woke up to the hard reality that they've been captured by a high control cult who sold them bogus dreams in exchange for their servitude.
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. Despite the anger and confusion and fear, it will get better at some point in the future.
Eden