Posts by undercover

14

stuck between a rock and a hard place!

by Luscious Vixen in

so i'm new to this forum but i just thought that someone out there might be able to relate to the situation i'm in---here it goes...!

i'm stuck in the middle of my spouse who is no longer a witness and his family who are very involved in the religion i myself was raised jewish and don't really have any commitments to any religion but don't see anything wrong with those that do however my husband is very anti anti-any type of organized religion.... at times i think he's against me because i had a normal upbringing with a big loving family and a normal childhood during which i could play sports and mingle with all types of friends regardless of their background... but my husband has a lot of anger about his childhood that he missed out on and the sports he didn't get to play and "excel" at so now he has no appreciation for things that i find important holidays or pushing yourself beyond your own physical limits just to see how far you can... life can be really difficult at times and i feel like we were raised on two different planets!!!!!!!!!!

eventhough my husband is no longer in the religion sometimes i feel like it is a 3rd partner in our marriage that i have to constantly compete with and work hard to overshadow.... i'm trying so hard not to let this break me but at times i'm at my wits end... can you relate????

undercover

Welcome LV, (like the name)

How long has your husband been out of JWs? There are different levels of recovery from that particular belief system. He may still be in the anger mode and unfortunately you are the receipient of some of that. The anger mode lasts longer for some than others and sometimes it never really goes away. I'm not an expert or anything, but I somehow seemed to be able to relate to how you described him. I went through an anger phase and it still pops up from time to time. Mine has passed for the most part and I have learned to appreciate things that I missed out on before. It's not other peoples fault (that weren't connected to the religion) that I missed out, why should I blame them? I have learned to get out and enjoy what life has left to offer. To sulk or pout about what you can't change does not help. If the anger lasts too long or is harming your marriage it may be time for professional help.

Just my .02

Good luck and again welcome.

45

SURVEY: How Long Have You Been Out Of The "Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

are you still "in"?

have you altogether stopped attending meetings?

for how long have you been "out"?

undercover

Like a couple of others noted, it depends on the definition or on how you look at it.

I've had doubts for years and years but blocked them like a good little dubbie. But the generation change really kind of sent me on my way out, slowly. I still went through the motions but the zeal and faith wasn't there anymore. I guess it's been two years ago when I finally got the nerve to strike out on my own somewhat and do outside research on the WTS. I haven't been in service for going on 4 years now, I can't even remember what's like to go out. Even though I consider myself mostly free of the borg, on rare occasion I do go to a memorial, assembly or rarer still the hall for a regular meeting. Family obligations and all, ya know. The last meeting I went to was soo hard to sit through. It's all BS.

I envy those who are complety free of it all, but as long as I have family in, the WTS will have some small part in my life, hate it though I do.

152

It?s official!!! The Olson Twins are Legal!!!

by Elsewhere in

.

the dream of many men has come true... over the weekend they turned 18!

.

undercover

*stir UC stir*

heh heh heh

152

It?s official!!! The Olson Twins are Legal!!!

by Elsewhere in

.

the dream of many men has come true... over the weekend they turned 18!

.

undercover

They've never really been fantasy material for me, but.....

I wouldn't turn em away from my bed either.

28

August 1st Botchtower - Rutherford - strong, yet humble

by truthseeker in

jeez, i cannot believe the crap they print.

i am convinced that the gb believe they are jehovah god.

everything makes sense now.. 1st study article .

undercover

In fact if he was a drunkard the bible is very clear that they are to be shunned .

Shunned like how God shunned Noah and Lot?

Okay, rephrase it: In fact if he was a drunkard, the WTS is very clear that they are to be shunned

Better?

29

Do you trust JW's?

by desib77 in

jw
friends

i guess i'm asking in more of a business aspect?

or in any kind of dealings with them.....for example, because of their morals honesty is "supposed" to be practiced.

would you hire one because of this?

undercover

I agree with SuperMommy. Judge them each on their own merit.

Would I turn down a person just because they were JW? No. Would I hire them just because they were JW? No.

If I knew them and knew they were trustworthy and honest, I'd have no problem with hiring them. If I had bad feelings about them (or experiences with them previously) despite the fact that they were JWs I would probably not hire them. If I did not know them, but their resume and application was the best turned in, I wouldn't have a problem hiring them. If they proved themselves honest and trustworthy, fine, if they gave me problems and ended up being dishonest, I'd fire them as quick as I would anyone else.

26

Should ExJWs Be Given More Slack Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i am sincerely of the opinion that we need to recognize that this board is quite different from most internet boards.

i do not belong to other groups and i cannot say i know every one else's rules, but i do know that jws and exjws are of a different breed.

we have been battered and abused in so many ways as jws.

undercover

I remember when I first posted, many people welcomed me and said they understood where I was coming from. I was also accused being a troll. I think it was because of my ignorance on the whole subject of the WTS. I was a little different than many. I was not an X-JW. I had questions and doubts but had not made a decision to leave. I had been lurking here and learning some things but still felt a little quilty about being on the big, bad, apostate board. My questions may have come across as baiting to some.

I think I understand what you're asking for Minimus. We are all at different stages and we need to remember that not everyone coming here is completely ready to cut all ties with the WTS/family/friends right off the bat. It's a 3-step forward, 1-step back progress sometimes. I know, I've been there. I think I've completed the fade away and then something happens that I have to deal with. I have even had to step foot back in the hall, just to keep peace in the family. I'm beginning to believe that to fade completely away is not possible unless you move far away.

128

What are some of the worst movies you've seen?

by doodle-v in

here's my movies that suck list.

battlefield earth .

mission to mars .

undercover

Big Top PeeWee

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Waterworld

Batman and Robin

Now here's one that the first half of the movie rocks and the second half sucks: From Dusk till Dawn After Selma Hayek turns into a vampire monster thingy, time to turn it off. Up till then it's great.

118

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS!

by YOUNGHOV in

.

i am new to the post and looking to meet girls the age of 18-22. i am a college senior in texas and an ms and my local congregation but there is a shortage of nice looking women around here.

maybe i can meet new friends on here.

undercover

I am soooo bored it is a shame.

Could share in the ministry work this afternoon. Don't want those hours to drop and lose your MS standing.

kls,

Yea, that was some of it. Thanks for explaining it.

26

What Do You Call Calling on a Do Not Call?

by ezekiel3 in

it is a little known policy outside jws that all you have to do to stop jws from coming to your door is to be put on the "do not call" list.

this is a record that is attached to the back of every territory card (a map section assigned to jw members) and carefully avoided by jws in future visits in your neighborhood.

to make sure that the list is valid and up-to-date, it is procedure for an elder (usually the service overseer) to call on these addresses at least once per year to verify that the resident still does not want visits.

undercover

Home but Hiding. That one kills me.

It's their damn house. They don't wanna answer the door, it's their right. They aren't hiding. They just don't want to waste their time with some Bible thumper on their front lawn. It's like not answering your phone when a telemarketer calls.