Great input everyone! Yeah I think I'd be better off long term if we split. I think we will always be friends, but thats about it.
ESTEE, your not alone girl.... you here!
longtime lurker and occasional poster here.
i pretty much have already made up my mind, but it seems like alot of good advice can be found here so here goes.... me and my soon to be ex-wife were active duds, rp's, bethel, etc.
we faded together and are now completely out.
Great input everyone! Yeah I think I'd be better off long term if we split. I think we will always be friends, but thats about it.
ESTEE, your not alone girl.... you here!
longtime lurker and occasional poster here.
i pretty much have already made up my mind, but it seems like alot of good advice can be found here so here goes.... me and my soon to be ex-wife were active duds, rp's, bethel, etc.
we faded together and are now completely out.
Hi everyone,
Longtime lurker and occasional poster here. I pretty much have already made up my mind, but it seems like alot of good advice can be found here so here goes...
Me and my soon to be ex-wife were active duds, RP's, Bethel, etc. We faded together and are now completely out. We are both happy to be out. Through the whole process we experienced the effect the "troof" can have on people's lives. It really messes with your mind until you've been out for awhile.
Anyway, to make a long story short, within the past couple of years she has recipricated interest (email, phone calls, flirtations, meeting together) with 3 different guys. She cheated with one of them (#2). After # 2 I made up my mind that any any more guy issues would immediatly doom us. As it was I was seriously questioning the whole thing. Well # 3 pretty much did it. Even though it was simply phone calls and meeting for a drink once, in my mind it was the equivilant of cheating.
Here's the rub. I know alot of her insecurity is due to her experience with the "troof" as well as childhood issues. Dating and the first couple of years of marriage were warped due to the JW rules of dating (ever try to be romantic with a shaparone present?). We both made major transitions recently in our lives. Her actions aren't necessarily due to a lack in her feelings for me, but rather due to self worth issues that have created a vunerabilty with the opposite sex. Throughout this whole thing she has been almost suicidal at the thought of losing our marriage. She tried couseling to get a grip on herself. Despite this she has been unable to resist attention from another guy.
We both care alot about each other. It breaks both of our hearts to see us split up. I understand her "condition" alot more now. I ask myself that if she had a medical condition instead of a psycological condition would I be as quick to leave?
I've made up my mind. Although I sympathize tremendously with her I don't think I would have the same respect for myself if i stayed and tried -yet again- to work it out. I'm thinking that my choice is to get out while its relatively easy (no kids, debt, mortgage) - or - stay, try to work it out and maybe have a shell of a marriage that used to be. If I stayed I think I would always have a resentment that would surface at the first sign of trouble. I decided to file.
Any thoughts/advice?
Has anyone been able to overcome infidelity/betrayed in marriage and truly have a happy relationship again?
Side issue: Oh yeah, we have been able to pretty much fade without problems. If we divorced, the last thing I plan to do is sit down with any Elders. I wonder what would become of our "status" if we divorced without explaining the grounds. Would they DF us if it became an issue?
have any of you ever had a moment your life you replay in your mind?
over and over, and thwack your head against the wall saying "what the hell was i thinking?
" or going along just fine, and then have something remind you of the time you were a total loser--and you blush uncontrollably (for no reason at all the outside world seems to think) and rush for the nearest brick wall to commence with the "what the hell was i thinking" battery?
Hi Joanna,
I kinda agree with Preston - at least you tried something !! Here's a little insight though, Even though he is married and he turned you down, I'd bet money that he is at least a little more fond of you for finding him worth an effort. Don't feel awkward around him if you see him. In fact the next time you see him I would make a point to say hi and let him know its no big deal.
i need someones advice on dating a jw when im not a believer.
i've just recently met him, lets call him chad, and he was the most amazing person ive ever met.
he was easy to talk to and funny, sweet, gorgeous.
Hi stef,
It sounds like your JW friend is just in it cuz his parents make him. He will probably want you to keep secret it from his Parents or just play along with the whole JW thing so he can see you. I was the same way. He's too young to be serious (or he wouldn't be talking to you). I say play along if you want, but by no means fall for the JW thing - read all the prrevious warnings!!
Edited by - freewilly on 27 December 2002 10:3:59
don't get me wrong, i'm not one to actively persecute jw's, i'm just wondering what you guys think is the best agrument/point to use when a pesky brother or sister just won't leave you alone.
normally, i am willing to listen to their drivel out of respect (even though i have no respect for the wt) but there are times when i am not in the mood to hear them babble.
i normally bring up the 1914 generation point, and it normally works.
Try this:
"If the Faithful and Discrete Slave = the 8000 Old Annointed people scattered round the Earth, then just how do they all get the information that they recieved from God to Brooklyn?" Phone? Fax? Email?
Then watch for smoke ;)
front page
the roving eye
" "second-rank" operatives arrived in the past five years and "have no idea about the plans".
Good question! Its not like you could retaliate in kind... who would you Bomb?
BTW I looked at this article on the Asia Times Online site and is declared it was a Hoax.
front page
the roving eye
" "second-rank" operatives arrived in the past five years and "have no idea about the plans".
I happen to think this is just a fancifull ploy to gain support around a pitiful cause.
However, everything mentioned regarding the use of Nukes is certainly plausible IF they could obtain and control the weapons. The security measures on Russian weapons are extremely difficult to defeat. They could , however, use the first stage of a 2 stage device (the trigger of an H-Bomb) without too much technical expertise. The yield on this though is in the 10-20 k-ton range (still a pretty big bang!). The 100 k-ton yield that was mentioned is credible for modern nuclear weapons. The US and USSR favor weapons in the 100-500 kilo-ton range. The Mega-ton range bombs are certainly feasable, but are rather impracticle. Smaller multiple warheard weapons actually do more cumulative damage.
The weapons are extremely difficult to detect (even without lead) - Just ask the NEST team (the nuke bomb squad) they tried and failed in a live drill.
Yep, I think he's blowing smoke, but I wouldn't say that this scenario is unachievable in the not too distant future. All thats needed are the weapons and the ability to operate them - scary if you ask me.
Edited by - freewilly on 15 November 2002 6:41:15
Edited by - freewilly on 15 November 2002 6:41:40
gosh........well off to visit my jw mom and dad tomorrow haven't seen them in a while, i've never approached them on anything i've learned here over the past few months, whilst i don't intend to be like a bull in a china shop with them (they are elderly), if i raise a subject,......but would like to plant a very very small seed of doubt with them?
?, which subject........un, silent lambs, blood etc ideas on what might work best, how to say it etc.. ta in advance.
j gull.
Maybe its just me, but the most penetrating point for me was the Faithful and Discrete Slave teaching vs what happens in reality at the WT.
Fact: The JWs teach the FDS is all of the (elderly) annointed now alive on earth. These annointed are scattered among the many congregations around the world.
Fact: They do NOTHING in reality to produce and distribute "Spiritual food" as taught by WT publications - This is all handled by bethelites (earthly hope) at Brooklyn.
Fact: They are as in the dark as the rest of the JWs when it comes to "New Light" from Jah. Supposedly Jehovahs holy spirit acts through this worldwide annointed group to distribute divine insights to mankind. The plain reality is that they have NOTHING, NOTHING at all to do with it. They find out about new teachings when they appear in the Watchtower LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. They are never consulted. Just ask any annointed one if they have ever had input on the "this generation" revision, or the "Sheep and the Goats" change . If it didn't come from the annointed (FDS) then where??
This PROVED for me that the very foundation of the organization was based on false pretenses. This also proved to me that the WT does not listen to its own FDS!
these are the results of a poll taken on friday, september 13, 2002, by yougov:.
do you support or oppose a un deadline to let arms inspectors back into iraq?.
don't know: 1%.. oppose: 4%.. support 95%.. if inspectors are not allowed back in, would you support or oppose un-backed military action?.
The arguement that States like Iraq should be left alone if they don't act outsid etheir own borders may have been relevant years ago. However, with the proliferation of technology the risk of allowing rouge states to develop military capabilities is very dangerous.
Remember the uneasy feeling you had when the world discovered both India and Pakistan had developed nuclear bombs and had delivery vehicles on which to deliver them?
Image a similarly armed Iraq defiently opposing anything from the world community. Held hostage would be anyone within range of their weapons. Not much room for error - thats why the 'touchy feely crowd' needs to sober up.
as the marketing department here at http://www.quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com is looking for new ideas every week to get the good word out in every way possible, we would like to take this oppourtunity to ask everyone to send there loved ones this great link.
as brother quotes keeps plugging away making our web site more and more informative every month there is so much spiritual food for us all to digest, lets get the good word out and be diligent!.
beans
I love the concept of Q.JW.com!
I would love to see JW teachings/errors arranger statistically. For example..
"WT has predicted the end of the world X____ times" (Link)
"WT has predicted and now abandoned X____ of key dates.
The Blood policy had been modified x___ times (Link)
The prophecy in Daniel has had X_____ of revisions (Link)
It has been reported that there are 23000 Child molestors on file at WT! (Link)