in thinking back over the years past it makes me really sad what we have come to as jehovah's witnesses.
i never thought i would ever be at this point in my life.
in doing some new year reflections i can't help but think of the people i cared about in past years.
Tammy,
Your probably going to get some heat on this one. However, I feel what your saying.
In a way my heart goes out to everyone. No matter how good or bad they seem to be.
It's as if we all our somehow deeply wounded. Desperately reaching out for a sense of wholeness, and sometimes hurting others in the process. Some people even fly planes into buildings in hopes of a closer sense of God. It's all quite insane really. The results of spiritual crisis.
JamesT
a child can see that the god portrayed in the bible is repulsive.. .
the same child standing in awe of the midnight sky is in love.. .
i made a decision not to long ago to no longer embrace a book that openly and continuously disparaged god.
A child can see that the god portrayed in the Bible is repulsive.
The same child standing in awe of the midnight sky is in love.
I made a decision not to long ago to no longer embrace a book that openly and continuously disparaged God.
The most important book to read is ourselves. Our own heart.
JamesT
the definition for idolatry is: .
1:worship of idols.
2:blind or excessive devotion to something.
Nothing hath separated us from God but our own will, or rather our own will is our separation from God. --William Law
cremated remains of woman 'made into a diamond stone'
the cremated remains of an 80-year-old woman have been presented to her family in the form of a diamond stone, the first delivery of this kind in the world.. the remains of edna macarthur from alberta, canada were compressed into a three gramme sample and flown to italy.. intense heat was then used to incorporate the remains into carbon used to craft a diamond.. "this is the first presentation of a synthetic diamond made in this way," brian crawford, president of edmonton-based fountain garden funeral services.. the quarter carat diamond was presented to macarthur's granddaughter, tracey somerville.. the family planned to have the stone placed in a golden ring.. the quarter carat diamond cost the family can$3,240 (1,281) which crawford said was much cheaper than the cost of a burial with a moderately priced wooden casket.
its manufacturing process took two weeks.. crawford said his company has already received three more orders, including a pre-arranged order from a living person.. another company, the toronto-based images for eternity, offers artwork incorporating cremated remains on paintings.
Dietary supplements!.... LOL
Gives a new meaning to Grandma's Cookies.
i need some advice.
i have been dating this guy for 3 years.
of those 3 years, he has cheated on me many many times, but i can only prove some.
Dear Mercedes,
It's not about your boy friend, it's about you.
Hardly ever can we change people (probably closer to never). Your boy friend is who he is.
Either accept him and love him for who he is and how he acts or leave him.
It's entirely up to you dear. Be clear on how you want your life to be and how you need and deserve to be treated. The path to take is obvious; you need only look within yourself to know.
Love,
JamesT
the society reports millions of hours spent in the field service yearly.
when you were active did you follow theocratic instructions carefully and faithfully?.
did you stop for a coffee break and keep your time going?
Note to outaservice: In regards to your posting under my "introduction post" last Saterday: I understood where you were coming from...we have a similar sense of humor. Your concern that I may have been offended was sweet -- too sweet really. Made me kinda sick actually.
That said....
As I recall there was more cheating on time reported in service than on tax forms. Even now, you can spot a Witness out in Service a mile away. They're the ones dressed nice and ssslloowwllyyyy mosy'n down the road. Taking as much time as humanly possible between doors.
JamesT
you know most of us spend a large part of our lives in a religion that allowed for no independant thinking.
we were taught and taught others that ours was the only way and anyone who thought differently was going to be judged unworthy and die.
anyone who presumed to think outside the box was branded "apostate" or not good association.
Xena,
Your not alone on this one.
You may appreciate my introduction post from last Saterday if you missed it. It's an attempt to explain some of our intolerence.
JamesT
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over the past few months i've found it hard not to feel anger and bitterness at wasting my youth on the watchtower , all the things i didn't do that i wanted to and will never be able to, at least not in the same way.. learning my father is dying of cancer has not helped, i feel his life was wasted in the truth, he was only tring to do what he thought was right.i think of my parents as a young couple just married in 1972, and reciveing a call from two young witnesses of a similar age.they must have believed they had found something special that they could give to their children.. sometimes i wish these things had not happened.. and yet would my life had been better if they hadn't?.
would my parents still have been together after 30 years, what would my childhood have been like if my dad had not learned to control his temper?being a natural rebelious idividual how would i have turned out, knowing how most of my friends from school turned out?would i have developed the qualities that i now value without by upbringing?not worring about being different anymore?would the paths i could have gone down been any better?i would certainly have not met my wife, and the experiences i have enjoyed as a result,my desire to now push myself and accomplish something great in my life may not have developed so strongly, the desire that may possible move me to success.. the irony is that being brough up a witness has shaped my personallity, determined the people i have met and those i have avoided, maybe my life would not have been so could if those witnesses had never called on my parents.
Sleepy,
I imagine many of us here are too familiar with a sense of loss.
It's easy to get stuck in the sadness and thoughts of what could have been. Then it's our own thoughts stealing our life away, and not the Org.
This is certainly the time of year to look back though.
JamesT
this is my first introduction post and my second post all together.
i hid in the corner for some time, just watching.
i was raised from about the age of five in the "truth".
This is my first introduction post and my second post all together. I hid in the corner for some time, just watching. I was raised from about the age of five in the "truth". After very rebellious teens and moving out on my own at sixteen, I was baptized in my early twenties. About ten years later I was disfellowshipped because I found, to everyone's amazement and especially my own, that I could not pray to Jehovah (or the vengeful concept of God), at a meeting which I was having with the elders. It seems my heart was way ahead of my mind on this one. I'm almost fifty-two now. Many years have gone by, but I still feel the pain of losing people I love, will always love, who shun me. I still pay a price for the distorted view of God, the world, and the universe that was so deeply programmed in me. I never did quite fit into the Borg, and I may not fit in here. My first post a couple of pages into a string, was not totally welcomed. The person who started the string wanted advise as to how to inform an elderly neighbor -- who had started a study with the dubs -- as to what she was getting into. I can understand how keeping a person out of the Borg would bring a sense of satisfaction and a new notch on our pistol to be proud of. But is our motivation out of true love and compassion for others, or is it out of our own selfish satisfaction, animosity and prejudice? I stated, in the above mentioned string, that it may be best not to meddle in the elderly persons life; and that being a JW in some instances may be healthy and emotionally satisfying for some people. Especially the elderly and lonely. I was told to read more about the pain and harm that association with the JW's can inflict before I make such statements. But, you see -- I know the pain. I too have lived it. But, it does not change the fact that the Borg shoe fits and is a blessing for many. It's foolish not to admit it. I was in no way critized harshly for my post, in fact I was welcomed; but I would like to make mention of this: In the "Post by Ray Franz", here on this forum, Ray says "Watch Tower leaders view negatively any "independent thinking" and feel justified with criticizing harshly those who do not line up with them. I find it depressing that many former Witnesses who attack the Watch Tower organization, proceed to manifest a similar spirit and use similar tactics toward those who do not line up with their thinking". I basically agree, and yet I also can understand it. I think that as Witness's we were subtly programmed to hate and despise other than our own; and as ex-JW's we often carry that programming with us. I have found in myself many instances of this. The characters may have changed roles, but the play remains the same. Now, instead of "the world" being evil, it's the WBTS. Those freshly out of the Borg may indeed require a period of anger and hostility towards the Society, for they may -- in many ways -- have been violated. However, at no time in my life experience have I seen true healing happen while hatred and anger were being supported and fed. The longer you keep your hand in the fire, the more dangerous the wound becomes. We identify with and become very protective of out prejudice and hatreds (well earned or not). As I become conscious of mine and begin the sometimes slow process of shedding them, I find I am more at peace. Life is brighter. I find that evil and suffering are often carried in my pocket; and are something I can discard. If I do post here in the future, I will do my best not to feed and support the anger. Thank you for listening to my spiel. James T
Edited by - jamesthomas on 30 December 2002 15:6:57
i am so furious.
the very zealous elderly pioneer sister who lives across the street (alberta) has been canvassing the neighborhood for studies.
i watch her walk up and down the street and being very friendly and helpful with her neighbors (all the while preaching to them i'm sure).
Sometimes -- believe it or not folks -- becoming a JW can be a healthy and emotionally satisfying thing for people. Especially those that are old and lonely. With this elderly women's welfare "truly" in mind, it may be best not to meddle, and just let her run her own life as she sees fit. Let her do what makes her happy. Why rain on her parade?
Love is not about changing people or getting them to follow our idea's. It's about freedom. It's about accepting people as they are.
I know I'm going to get heat for this....but oh well.
James
