Posts by ESTEE

I ran into a friend of mine in the food court at the mall one day after work. Actually, Debbie saw me first. I was feeling soooo sad and on the verge of tears, as I sat and picked at my cardboard mozzaburger and sipped on my rootbeer. It was very shortly after my df'ing and I was feeling ungrounded and disconnected. My mom had died only a few months before as well. Besides grieving for my mom, I was also grieving the loss of my kids association, and still reeling from the sudden disfellowshipping. I couldn't believe how fast the elders had turned against me. I hated this feeling of being so alone and isolated from what I perceived to be "my world". I felt such an emptiness.

I heard a friendly voice, "Hi, Esther!"

I looked up . . .and into a smiling familiar face. . . here was someone I had known several years ago in dub-ville. Hadn't seen her for a long time. . .maybe a couple of years. That is just about how long ago since I had been a regular meeting attender, at that time in August 1999.

"Hi. . . Debbie," I said, hesitantly. . .I knew that if she heard that I was now disfellowshipped, she would turn away from me in horror.

"So. . .you still goin' to those meetings?" she asked me. Hmmmm. . . I thought. . .she must not have heard about my df'ing.

"No," I replied. . ."You?"

"I DA'd myself last year!" she replied happily.

"Really?" I could hardly see her face because of the tears in my eyes. I couldn't say more than that at the moment, . . or I would have burst out sobbing. Somehow I found the words to invite her to sit down with me and join me for coffee.

I did start to sob quietly. I told her how glad I felt that she stopped to talk with me. I was so lost in my thoughts that if she hadn't approached me, I would have never even seen her. She told me about how she came to her decision to disassociate from the WT. Then I told her that I was newly disfellowshipped and feeling so very . . .very. . .what's the word my mom used when she felt disoriented? . . .displaced. . .

She told me about the book, "Crisis of Conscience". She had a copy and offered to lend it to me for a read. Said it would help me gain a new perspective on the organization, and help me to survive this very rough and lonely time in my life.

I told her about my mom dying only weeks before the elders decision was handed down to disfellowship me. The elders had demonstrated such a lack of mercy and compassion that I felt a shock and disbelief around the entire month of events that led up to their final decision to df me.

Debbie was very understanding with me and sympathetic. I appreciated her friendship. We had been friends in the borg. . .and here we were, both outside the borg now. . .reacquainting ourselves. It felt wonderful to talk to someone so caring and compassionate.

We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. . .and promised to be in touch with each other. I left the food court with her, smiling. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

My conclusion is that the rule about shunning works very effectively. . .in keeping disfellowshipped or disassociated ones apart and alienated from each other. Since that time in the food court, I have made a point to say hi to any and all jws that I see. I think that if any of them left, as I did. . . I would not want to miss the opportunity of getting to know them all over again. . .this time on the outside of the cult.

Debbie and I remain close friends. We exchange Christmas and birthday gifts and cards. We get together for other occasions, as well . . . And I am sure that I thank her every time I see her . . .for stopping to talk with me that day in the food court. . .

Love,

Esther

4

good links website

by joeyct in

.

found a good website with alot of interesting links etc.. http://www.watchtower.tv check it out--someone is searching for the "truth.

"

ESTEE

Thanks joeyct for the info. . . and welcome to the forum!!!

I does not hurt anyone to receive several notifications of this type of good news. I noticed that there is a Class Action Lawsuit for exjws who have been shunned or otherwise abused or mistreated and as a result, suffered emotional trauma. It will be interesting to keep an eye on this one!!! Those dubs are getting it with both barrels these days. . .fer some reason. . .

Esther

9

what a difference a year makes

by blindfool in

jw
friends

i'm a month away from my 1 year anniversary with jw.com!

this time last year i was working at a job i hated, arguing with my wife all the time about the wt, and just not sure what i could do about it.

i recieved some good advice from randy waters of freeminds.org (he probably doesn't even remember it) right about this time last year.

ESTEE

Blindfool,

Awwww, I'm feeling really glad that you are feeling happier with yourself and your situation in the past year. You sound like you are a very patient and understanding man. That is wonderful!

And I'm especially glad that you and your wife are working together and communicating better about religion. That must feel really nice. A plus for the marriage, I'm sure!

Love,

ESTEE

19

Onacruse and Bikerchic Experience Landmark Forum

by onacruse in

jw
friends

katie and i just finished a 3-day marathon "the landmark education forum.

let me just say, our "cult" red lights began flashing big-time within the first 1/2 day.

cellomould started a jw.com thread about this "forum" last year http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=22167&site=3 nobody came back about any experiences with landmark.

ESTEE

(((((onacruse)))))

Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

How awful!!!

I'm experiencing JW flashbacks just reading about it!

Love,

ESTEE

69

Most ridiculous statements from the JW stage?

by Smiles in

we have all sat at jw meetings and heard some ridiculous statements that were either shocking or just plain old bunk.

usually it is the same jw individuals that make those statements time and time again.

you know the type..... you can almost expect such comments from them.. jws place great importance on what statements or persons are 'stage worthy'.

ESTEE

I can't believe some of the garbage that has been taught from the platform, in the name of God!! Just because these teachings came from the platform, does that automatically mean that the message is inspired of God? So it must be automatically accepted as truth? Where is their common sense?

Pistoff:

Now this does not mean that if your husband slaps you up a bit, you can go running to the elders.

Sounds to me like Jack Thomas, CO is a wifebeater.

Czarofmischief:

Pharisee Alert

Yup. . . these are self-righteous, self-appointed judges.

Setfreefinally:

If you didn't read it in the WTS publication, you can't believe it

Excuse me!!!. . .Like there are no credible "worldly" reference materials outside the borg???? LMAO at that one!!!

Ed:

Statue giving birth

Oh, yeah. . . these men are fully qualified and appointed by none other than the Holy spirit. . . you can just tell almost immediately!!!! LMAO!!!

Thirdson:

Peer Pressure

Hope I don't burst out laughing next time I hear that expression. . .anywhere. . .

Ed:

Accepted without any question

And all because the jws heard it from the platform. . . hmmm. . . .must be inspired!

dobby:

women are the weaker vessel

That so-called scriptural explanation that you heard of the Jw-ism-educated men. . . .aren't these men just so. . .so. . .soooooo . . .

Glad I'm gone!!!!!

Love,

Esther

9

Ex-JWs' JW Encounters.

by SpannerintheWorks in

jw
friends

i find it fascinating when a poster says he or she has just had a visit from the jws.

the recalled encounter is always very interesting.. knowing how the average jw thinks, most of you, who are ex-jws, have the benefit of hindsight.

i think it would be very entertaining to read all your stories of jw encounter of the third kind since leaving the org .

ESTEE

Brummie,

Sorry about the typo with your name. . . <hangs head>

Love,

ESTEE

14

I think my husband DA'd over the phone

by FreeFallin in

jw
friends

i don't know where to begin with this.. we had a meeting scheduled for monday nite (tomorrow), the inactive call.

we decided to cancel the meeting and i've been working on a letter to the elder who was supposed to come over.

i wanted to tell him how we felt and that we just wanted to back away gracefully.. so when my husband called him to cancel, he told him that he couldn't be the witness the congregation expected, etc.

ESTEE

(((((Freefallin)))))

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with deciding on what to do about the meddling elders right now. . .

So, according to the society publications, they will not shun you if you "leave the faith", or "do a fade"?

Theoreticaly that may work. I hope so . . . for your sake. The reality is that as soon as the rumor gets around, most will shun you anyway, simply because they have not done the research that you have done on this topic. I dare say, they do not know about the "leave-the-faith" clause.

I figure. . . do not send a letter of any kind, just fade from the jw picture. Avoid talking to the elders, do not answer the door for them and let the answering machine pick up their calls.

OTOH, matt offers some sensible advice.

I will tell you from my personal experience (I'm disfellowshipped) that it is no fun to have my kids shun me. Now I follow them by doing internet searches. Not nice what jw's do to families. . .

Good luck and keep us posted, hon!

Love,

ESTEE