kgfreeperson

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Posts by kgfreeperson

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  4

  must share with you.I´m so happy

  by viktoria in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my youngest son had his last exam today.

  that gives him a good start at high school don t you think?

  sending him to private school has sometimes been an economic struggle for me,but we had an agreement: i pay without complaining and you bring home the good grades without complaining.we both kept our promise.

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  kgfreeperson

  Congratulations to you all, and thanks for letting us share in your happiness.
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  23

  You are SO not gonna believe this

  by LovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well prodigal jw husband came home last night from his jw field trip back up north.

  we had the house all cleaned and daddy was on the way home from the airport...but didnt show up.

  i knew immediately where he was.

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  kgfreeperson

  May I recommend _A General Theory of Love_? (Lewis, Amini and Lannon).
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  23

  I'm in LOVE!

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with shiraz....omg it's everything i ever wanted in a wine..where has it been all my life???????????????????.

  i just tried it....the bouquet...the way it rolls over my tongue...i don't even know if this is a good one but i love it!

  the earthy tones blended in perfect harmony with the fine sweetness *sigh* does it get any better?.

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  kgfreeperson

  sounds as close to perfect as you can get.
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  23

  I'm in LOVE!

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with shiraz....omg it's everything i ever wanted in a wine..where has it been all my life???????????????????.

  i just tried it....the bouquet...the way it rolls over my tongue...i don't even know if this is a good one but i love it!

  the earthy tones blended in perfect harmony with the fine sweetness *sigh* does it get any better?.

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  kgfreeperson

  Rosemont, young woman, Rosemont. Excellent!
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  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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  kgfreeperson

  amen
• 
  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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  kgfreeperson

  Well, see, that's the thing. No memory is 100% accurate because the purpose of memory is to build a world-view rather than to provide accurate facts. So, in order to remember anything, we have to weave it into our current understanding of the world. In the ed biz this is known as assimilation (we use new information/experience to strengthen, broaden, or deepen our current understanding. What we absolutely HATE to do is what's known as accommodate--change how we understand the world to accommodate new information/experience. That's where a lot of denial comes in, as Lady Lee points out. If I am to believe that a grandfather could rape a 3 or 4 year old child, I have to change what I believe about human experience and that is much too hard. So I deny your experience. I look for ways to bolster what I already believe. Much better to hurt you than to have to completely re-think how I view humans! I so wish people were better, don't you?
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  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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  kgfreeperson

  I probably don't need to say this, but I just want to emphasize that the issue with recovered memories has to do with a specific kind of therapy (now discredited) wherein the therapist says something like "your symptoms suggest that you were sexually abused as a child. You may not remember now, but, because of your symptoms, I'm fairly sure you were. We will work on recovering those memories." Police have been known to do the same sort of thing when trying to get a confession. And it works--people remember things with great detail that never happened. So it isn't so much "recovered memories" but "implanted memories" that are suspect. So the issue isn't whether or not it is possible to completely repress memories and recover them much later (possibly when it is safer to do so) but whether a therapist should start from the conviction that every person who comes to them for help has sexual abuse in their past and proceed to try to "recover" it. It is so awful that you should have one more burden to bear around this--that people would dismiss your reality because a method of therapy has been discredited. Additionally, people have trouble dealing with any denial of experience. One of the things I dealt with in therapy, for instance, was that my mother's way of "apologizing" was to deny she had done or said things she was later ashamed of. I didn't recognize it until I married a man who did the same thing (poor baby, was he ever surprised when he suddenly had a tasmanian devil on his hands!) I mean, it was not a big deal, especially when compared with the horrors you deal with, but it kept me hypervigilent, pouncing on what I saw as inconsistency or denial. You can imagine how much fun I was to be around and how hard it was to be me! You know that when people brush off recovered memories that they are acting out of ignorance. I just want to make sure you know that a whole lot of other people also know they are acting out of ignorance. Love to you both.
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  31

  My DA Letter

  by iiz2cool in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've finished my da letter which i'm planning to send tomorrow.

  i guess i'm just tired of the weekly harassment, and a few other things.

  here's the link to it.

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  kgfreeperson

  I am sorry to hear that your wife is not with you on this. But good for you for going ahead regardless and I hope you two can work it out.
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  98

  Repressed, Triggered and Recovered Memories

  by Big Tex in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  first of all, let me say that many, if not most, of my memories of abuse and early childhood were recovered.

  some people feel that this diminishes my experience, or in some way denies what happened.

  i suffered from major depression and was quite suicidal for 2 years before something happened to trigger my memories.

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  kgfreeperson

  It's more than they just don't get it. There is something very deeply weird about such a comment from anyone, let alone an elder. Continuing to hold you in my heart, Chris.
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  32

  Using your anger to make positive changes

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  using your anger to make positive changes in your life

  i was so mad i just exploded in rage.

  how many times have you heard someone say, "that wasn't very mature of you," after you have lost your temper.

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  kgfreeperson

  I probably need to dig it out and re-read it myself. She wrote three "Dance of . . ." books but I think that this one is the best I just started reading "Beyond Belief" by Elaine Pagels and it is absolutely wonderful. If you're interested-- http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0375501568/qid=1055726184/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-7552509-4335225#product-details