I live in a small town, too. The love and kindness you speak of is something that was always a stumbling block to me being a really "good JW" I couldn't see what the JW's were doing that was so great to help people, even people who were in the congregation, like the worldly people I knew. I saw more judging and criticizing than anything. I have so much more love for people now, and appreciation for the good things in life. I also love volunteering and helping people, something I didn't feel I could do before, helping the "world". I still feel guilty about that, not being a better person.
Redneckgurl
JoinedPosts by Redneckgurl
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GOT A LITTLE STORY TO TELL YA.
by outoftheorg inmy wife and i live in a rather small town.
around 5500 residents and about another 2 to 3 thousand on the outskirts.. we have a very good hospital here, considering the size of the county and residents.. my wife is a nurse and now is the office mgr.
of the home health dept.. it seems that there is no end to the several things the hospital is involved in that call for volunteers.
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Do you and your significant other share religious beliefs?
by MelbaToast insometimes, i think my husband is much more church oriented than i am.
i still get upset when i attend church, but lately he has been putting the push on me for us to go back to his church where he grew up in.
he would like to start taking our daughter so she has a somewhat structured religious belief.
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Redneckgurl
We both left JW's at the same time, although some of our reasons are a bit different. He is really bitter about the things he was kept from growing up, like college for one. As far as the beliefs go, he doesn't agree with a lot of them now, but has a hard time letting some things go, like who goes to heaven, is there a hell, and stuff like that. He would like to start going to a church now and then I think, but one that is very liberal, like a non-denominational church.
I have pretty much decided that JW's are NOT in God's favor and do NOT have the truth. I have had a much easier time letting go and just trying to believe that God loves us all and we need to show him our appreciation the best we can. I agree with him about the sort of church I would like for us to attend. I am not as bitter towards religion as he is, I just wish my family would leave too.
--Krissy
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Making Up For Lost Time....Need Advice
by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! indoc and i have decided that when i finish my master's degree in psychology we're going to move somewhere for me to pursue my phd.
it's an amazing opportunity, somethng that as a dub i never even dreamed of.
i have so many questions though: how do i find out which schools are considered to be at the top for psych programs?
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Redneckgurl
Wow! That is great!
You don't want hot-humid air hah? lol I know that the University of Texas Medical Branch has a great Psych program. Also Baylor. They always have a lot of research going on here too. (we've taken advantage of these services in our own family) I would think that any of the larger cities would have more opportunity for you both.
I am 33, and when I was in high school, I was a smart kid, but who cared? I wasn't going to college anyway, so I took Cosmetology during my Junior and Senior year. I never even let myself dream of what I could have been. Now, I would love to be in the medical field too. I am very intereseted in Psychiatry, too. I am thinking about joined the Fire Dept. with my husband and taking the Paramedic courses that they sometimes offer there. I want to BE something. Sometimes I feel like it's too late though, even when people say it isn't. Very discouraging.
My husband is 29 and is VERY resentful that he wasn't encouraged to go to college. He is very talented and brilliant, doing pretty well for an "uneducated" person, but now that we have a family, he can't even think about taking time to go to school right now. I feel really bad for him.
Go for your dreams!
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Letter from my mother........
by Redneckgurl inwell, it's starting.
my parents came by the house this past weekend and their memories were refreshed by the christmas lights we had up around the house that i was no longer a jw along with my husband and children.
today she left this note in my car, along with a poncho that she knitted for me ..........tell me what you think, i want to write her back, but i would love to have some suggestions to use!
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Redneckgurl
Thanks so much for the input. You all are right, I should just accept it as a gesture of her love and niceness. It just gets frustrating. I know how she is thinking, that making me feel bad is going to make me want to "come back" but that's one of the reasons why I left.
I hate seeing her walk around with such a gloomy look on her face, like she could bust out crying at any moment. (we see eachother at work) She has been like that for years, and of course, this time of the year is really hard for her because I know she misses it, even my husband thinks so. She would always sing the "Non-Christmas" Winter songs with us kids, the ones that devout witnesses still wouldn't sing. Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, and Let It Snow. Then she would still get excited about the Thanksgiving Day parade. She puts up Snowflakes and is so excited to get presents from her students at work. When we were kids and my dad was DF'd for smoking, she immediately broke into the Christmas Spirit again at this time of the year, but told us it was not really Jesus' B-day, and refused to have anything referring to that on our tree. We had a giant bow, no star, and definately no nativity or angels. She passes Candy Canes out to her students, too. My dad would be hard to convince, but I don't think she would. She is just "stuck" right now, and lets her emotions rule her.
Oh well, thanks for listening, I am going to write her a note, with a nicer connotation than I planned. See, I knew that you all could help me out!
--Krissy
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Letter from my mother........
by Redneckgurl inwell, it's starting.
my parents came by the house this past weekend and their memories were refreshed by the christmas lights we had up around the house that i was no longer a jw along with my husband and children.
today she left this note in my car, along with a poncho that she knitted for me ..........tell me what you think, i want to write her back, but i would love to have some suggestions to use!
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Redneckgurl
Well, it's starting. My parents came by the house this past weekend and their memories were refreshed by the Christmas Lights we had up around the house that I was no longer a JW along with my husband and children. Today she left this note in my car, along with a poncho that she knitted for me ..........Tell me what you think, I want to write her back, but I would love to have some suggestions to use! I hate these guilt tactics that she still tries to use on me!
"Dear K,
I want you to know I still love you very much because you are my precious daughter. I just don't like the choice you've made for your life. Hope you like this poncho.
Love,
Mom"She always does this to me. She does something nice for me, then says she still loves me. She doesn't do anything for me just to do ti, she always does it with the guilt trip. It's so sad. She chooses to follow this religion that tells her what to do!!!!
Krissy
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Would like to introduce myself
by jwNOT ini am so grateful to have found this site.
i got so excited reading everyones posts.
i was raised a jw up intil i was around 13 or so.
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Redneckgurl
Welcome! It sounds like you need a lot of support. First of all, you are here to find some answers to your questions, but more importantly it sounds like you have gone through a lot of verbal/mental abuse that you need to deal with. It's hard, I know. The guilt that has gotten to you has made it hard for you to grow, but the more you reach out, the easier it will be.
The most liberating part of leaving the JW's for me (at the age of 31) was being able to think for myself. I wasn't always looking over my shoulder wondering if someone wasn't going to agree with what I was doing. I don't even hide things from my parents anymore. I am finally growing up! lol
--Krissy
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Selling it at funerals too!
by wizedup inmy husband has an outline for a funeral talk from when he was an elder.
it instructs the speaker, "this talk should provide a fine witness concerning the truth, rather than unduly eulogizing the deceased.".
how's that for licking the plate clean?.
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Redneckgurl
I have always noticed that, since I was very young. It is so different when you go to a non-JW funeral, the person is truly recognized for whatever good things they did, the family gets to say goodbye if they want to, and the person is truly honored. It does seem that all they are trying to do is strike a cord with any "worldly" or "inactive" ones that come to these, even announcing that "any one of Jehovah's Witnesses would be happy to assist you with any questions you have". Uh, excuse me, were they just trying to teach something to the non-witnesses there? It's even worse when there are a lot of family members and co-workers there, who are not JW's. People look around to see who is there who might "hear something" that will bring them IN. It sounds more like a Sunday talk than a memorial/funeral service.
Went to one recently at a Baptist church and it was beautiful, had us talking about the person who died and remembering him. His daughter sang a song and people got up to talk about what a great person he was. Isn't that what you are supposed to do when someone dies? Not just try to give a Bible sermon?
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JW Urban Legends...
by ThisGuy04 injust curious if jw urban legends are the same all over the world...?
i remember growing up in canada, there's two that really stand out in my mind.
1) the smurfs walking out of the kh.
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Redneckgurl
They must have confused Catholic school with Hogwarts.
OMG, that is so funny!!!! rotflmao!
I have heard so many that I can't hardly remember anything specifically, but there are always the older people who have the stories about the demons, with things floating around the room, or people acting crazy and the elders praying for them, or going through their house to find anything that could be connected to demons. My husband said that in his congregation, they didn't go to garage sales because anything they bought could have a demon in it. But he told me a lot of stories that have been passed around since his childhood and they are very similar to the things I have heard, but with some differences. It's pretty funny though, since I started learning about mental illness, I wonder how many of those poor people that were accused of having demons were actually very sick people? How sad, hah?
Oh yeah, the Smurfs......lol......was that just a JW thing though? I remember looking at my cute little smurf figurines, waiting for them to start talking to me, they never did........I gave them to my own kids!
Krissy
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How did you feel when you learned it was all a lie?
by what_Truth? inbit of background.
i grew up as a jw i left the church when i was 14 because a ministerial servant who was conducting a one on one baptism study with me said that i couldn't ballance my dreams of being a professional singer with the so called "truth".
i stopped the study and told my mom i no longer wanted to be a witness.
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Redneckgurl
First I was in shock, sort of a disbelief, like I was dreaming or something. Then, I was scared, how was I going to get out without destoying my family ties and confusing my children. I just had to do what was best for myself, my husband and my kids. We have been very happy ever since, and just avoid speaking with our parents and other family because it can be upsetting.
Krissy
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How Did YOU Leave The Organization??
by minimus indid you just decide one morning that that was it??
did you agonize over making the decision?
was it a very gradual process?
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Redneckgurl
About 2 1/2 years ago, my husband started with some comments about how he felt and I knew he had been reading things on the internet. His brother (who is like a repressed teen who is going nuts at 30) had stopped going to meetings, and out of my concern for them, I checked out the computer to see what he had been reading.
I read and I was shocked at what I read! Then I did a search (I had done it before, but looking for "good" JW sites, I would quickly leave when I saw something Anti-JW) This time I read with the intent to learn. After that, I decided there was NO way I could turn back, I was already convinced that this was NOT the only way to live. I opened my heart to people and felt great!
We DA'd ourselves a year ago.Happy freedom!