I was married many years ago and we were having problems, so John went to the elders for help. We were ignored. He asked again, and still no response from any of them. It was around the holidays and we had received a card from John's brother, so I hung it on the refridgerator to make sure John saw it. A few days later I was home alone when an elder knocked on my door. He came into the kitchen, then asked if we could talk in the living room. I had no idea what it was he had to say that couldn't be said in the kitchen, but we went into the living room anyway. He turned around and walked out. Total length of visit: less than two minutes. I found out later that someone reported we had put up a tree.
A short time later, an elder approached me. He told me that the day before, while out in service, I had been observed taking a vase off someone's porch and smashing it on the ground. I told him that was ridiculous, that I would never do a thing like that. He kept insisting I was seen doing it, but wouldn't tell me who made the accusations.
It was right after this we stopped going altogether. We had been skipping a lot of meetings and service, but this was it for me. I had grown up in this congregation, and the elder had known me for twenty years. They couldn't be bothered to help when we needed it, but were among the first to believe the lies told. We stopped going.
Several months later, John and I split up (he got involved with someone else). The elders came to my house and told me I couldn't get a divorce. I told them that John was divorcing me and I wasn't contesting it. There was nothing they could do. I never told them about John's affair; it was none of their business. I could barely look at them, I was so disgusted with it all. They never said a word about my not attending meetings. They left and never called on me again. That was more than twenty-five years ago...and I've never had anyone so much as leave a track or magazine at my door in all these years.
