Posts by ohnightdivine

65

I'm afraid I'd be single for life

by ohnightdivine in

this is quite embarrassing for me to share, but as a 30+ year old single female i have lingering doubts as to whether i can still meet a decent man and get married.. you all know how difficult it is for sisters to find an appropriate partner in the congregation.. and now, all the more so that i've learned ttatt.

i still am bound by low self-esteem, and i do have trust issues, especially with men.

i am very lonely and so i just keep myself busy with work to avoid depression (although it is also a great source of stress).. any other single females out there having similar thoughts?.

ohnightdivine

Hi Ding, yes I think I haven't made myself clear enough... I have no intentions of marrying in the 'truth' anymore. :D

65

I'm afraid I'd be single for life

by ohnightdivine in

this is quite embarrassing for me to share, but as a 30+ year old single female i have lingering doubts as to whether i can still meet a decent man and get married.. you all know how difficult it is for sisters to find an appropriate partner in the congregation.. and now, all the more so that i've learned ttatt.

i still am bound by low self-esteem, and i do have trust issues, especially with men.

i am very lonely and so i just keep myself busy with work to avoid depression (although it is also a great source of stress).. any other single females out there having similar thoughts?.

ohnightdivine

How is everyone now? Has anyone married another JW recently, or married 'outside the truth'?

I am still single now in my mid-30s lol.

5

Back after 4 years!!

by ohnightdivine in

gosh i can't believe i would still be able to log in to this site after around 4 years.

i simply just forgot my password and got the lightbulb back in my head a few minutes ago.

not sure if anyone can still remember me (i was just one of those occasional passers-by a few years ago with some relatively depressing experience after waking up to ttatt).. in the last 4 years, i:.

ohnightdivine

Hello everyone!

Gosh I can't believe I would still be able to log in to this site after around 4 years. I simply just forgot my password and got the lightbulb back in my head a few minutes ago. :)

Not sure if anyone can still remember me (I was just one of those occasional passers-by a few years ago with some relatively depressing experience after waking up to TTATT).

In the last 4 years, I:

was extremely busy in my corporate job
because of the above, had "valid" reason to act "spiritually weak"
still went to meetings maybe once a month
completely disenganged from "light shining brighter" stuff
still believe that doing what is good is good; and doing what is bad is bad
did not engage in immoral relations whatsoever (the deeply indoctrinated ones might not know this is possible)
did not actually have any sort of romantic relationship with other people
was really really busy with work, got promoted, now left my job to stay with the family
still maintain somehow close relations with a few JW 'friends' in the congregation
am no longer participating in the 'preaching' work, only occasionally
decided that I needed to start forgetting about the emotional pain I have experienced.
noticed that even 'Special Pioneers' give up their 'privileges' to pursue romantic relations
confirmed that some of my JW 'friends' also have doubts about the organization but are just staying because of their families.

Hope everyone is well and... it's almost Christmas season!

Warm regards,

OND

65

Did you AWAKEN from the JWs by yourself?

by cultBgone in

jw
friends

i was thinking about how so many posters here on jwn are frustrated and frantic to help their loved ones get away from the brainwashing of jws, and how much advice is given about how to help family members and loved ones.

i considered my own leaving and that it was internal turmoil based on the teachings getting weirder and child abuse issues, to name just a few, and it made me wonder:.

did you self-awaken or were you assisted by the gentle proddings of a friend or family member?

ohnightdivine

I was not 100% convinced this was the "only true religion" when I got dunked in the pool, and I actually read about how the WT protects its sex offenders

even before I decided to become one of the "sisters."

I needed and wanted the love bombing at the time so I chose to ignore the small voice in my head.

A few years down the road, I came to realize that there really was no genuine love in the congregation, that we were being "educated" through use of fear and guilt-inducing words, that almost all members are materialistic, some even more than other non-JW people I know. Ultimately, it was the holier-than-thou attitude that awakened me fully.

58

Window-washer is the cover of Feb 2015 WT, "How to enjoy your work!" Hahaha!!

by EndofMysteries in

.

after all the jokes and satire on this website about jw's only being able to amount to window washers and house cleaners, the cover page of "how to enjoy your work" showing a window washer and cleaner in the back ground.

i almost wonder if some awakened, still-in, from this site is part of the writing department or illustrations and put that in there as an inside joke for us?.

ohnightdivine

So, they didn't use a photo of someone working in an office because that would be very secular and the Gibbering Brothers don't want us to enjoy that kind of work, right?

37

How did you feel when you got baptised? Seriously....

by stuckinarut2 in

so recently, several over-righteous ones in the cong were discussing "how amazing it felt when they got baptised".

statements like "how awesome did it feel as you got raised back out of the water?!".

or the classic "i felt so close to jehovah as i came out of the pool"!.

ohnightdivine

"What--that was it?"

19

I need a good cry but I can't. Please help?

by ohnightdivine in

jw
friends

besides being overworked and overstressed almost everyday in the past few months,.

i've had to deal with a 'broken heart', insecurities with my physical appearance (gained a lot of weight),.

and being lonely because i started distancing myself from the 'congregation', i just want to cry, sob, and bawl out here in my bedroom.

ohnightdivine

Thanks a lot, everyone, for all your words.

I haven't tried most of the things you mentioned except for watching some soapy commercials.

Together with this numbness I sort of just keep hiding myself after work, unable to help myself or cheer myself up, when during the whole day I move at a very active pace, helping out people at work. Recently, I started to console myself by saying that work is therapy. But everything seems to have drained my "emotional bank".

How I wish one of you here lived nearby! It's hard to live like a lady alone in an island.

19

I need a good cry but I can't. Please help?

by ohnightdivine in

jw
friends

besides being overworked and overstressed almost everyday in the past few months,.

i've had to deal with a 'broken heart', insecurities with my physical appearance (gained a lot of weight),.

and being lonely because i started distancing myself from the 'congregation', i just want to cry, sob, and bawl out here in my bedroom.

ohnightdivine

Besides being overworked and overstressed almost everyday in the past few months,

I've had to deal with a 'broken heart', insecurities with my physical appearance (gained a lot of weight),

and being lonely because I started distancing myself from the 'congregation', I just want to cry, sob, and bawl out here in my bedroom. But I just can't. :( I used to cry easily when I'm depressed, but lately I think that perhaps subconsciously I began to cope by being numb.

I just can't cry when I need to release all of the pain in my heart.

Please, any tips? What do I do? :(

36

A Non J-Dub paying a visit to KingDumb Hall!

by J-DUBBED in

i was thinking of doing a pop-in visit when they're doing their thing(what ever that might be).

to just see what it is that lures and hooks people, like our son.

i was worried there is some sort of subliminal messages in audio or video that start to brain-wash a person.

ohnightdivine

Please, do not fall for their 'love bombing'.

That's an important thing to be aware of.... I wish I knew about it sooner.

34

Ever notice how JW's can attend a talk or Convention and remember nothing?

by Wasanelder Once in

how many times have you asked a jw who has attended a public talk how the talk was, only to be told it was so great!

yet they cannot remember the title nor any one single point except that the brother was "funny" or was good with illustratiions or some other vauge point?

and conventions weren't far off either.

ohnightdivine

Last week's convention was soooooo encouraging!!!

They put up gigantic screens to show amazing videos and drama, and the demonstrations and interviews were a lot livelier!!!!

The speakers were also carrying their laptops and tablets!! What a great provision and sign that the heavenly chariot is moving faster!!! Said the most popular speaker in town during his introduction to the last talk. Stupid stupid stupid.

I stood up and never went back in!

What a circus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!