Posts by gambit

26

Some Questions; Civil Answers Please

by Swan in

jw
friends

i am questioning whether the internet is a good place to hang out.

last month i was scammed by an impostor who took advantage of me while i was depressed and vulnerable.

even this discussion board has become very vicious lately.

gambit

Swan --

Great question... It's like the one in the classroom that everyone wants to ask but feels stupid asking it. Then the person that asks it is recognized as a brilliant observer of the simpler facets of the situation.

I do much more lurking / studying / deprogramming on my own, here and other links that show up here, and any number of books on recovery (not just all JW). I think your question shows how much you have healed and/or deprogrammed. You are beginning to recognize what is good for you and what is bad for you. Don't feel bad about making a decision that is in your best interest.

I don't have a lot to offer here myself, but I still reach out from time to time. I have thought long and hard about the reason for this and have found that when I feel I have to contribute, I do, but when the topic is simply interesting and my feelings aren't pulling me to say something, I make the choice not to... At first I felt shy, timid, incapable, worthless, and so on and so on, but now I feel like I give and take in equal proportions and don't need to respond in order to feel good about myself or to help others.

You have added a lot of wonderful insights, thoughts, and feelings to this board. I have appreciated that and I am sure a number of others do to. Know when enough is enough... It may be time for you to begin growing in new directions, sharing in other ways, or simply experiencing some of your current state of being... Only you know, and everyone that cares about you will encourage you to take whatever steps you choose.

gambit

34

Confusing Good Sex as Love

by Robdar in

i will go for weeks, months, sometimes a year without sex.

then, if conditions are right and i am particulary attracted to a man, i will bed him.

if the lovin' is good, i might bed him again.

gambit

This topic definitely opens the door to discuss COMF's position on polyamorous relationships... Since most poly relationships (vs swinging, cruising, etc) have a primary and one or more secondaries, it goes with reason that many of these folks feel the same way... Although, funny thing is, most poly's would only consider sex if there was an established emotional relationship that included trust and friendship... Thus, many loves...

Yerusalyim said it very well... Love is not an emotion, but a decision. This is a mature emotional commitment that instills feelings... vs falling in love which is a psychodymanic bonding of filling in holes in the soul...

When your partner starts filling in those pieces your missing, especially once a sexual relationship has been established, it is real easy to rationalize the feeling as "love"... its not... it's your own emotional crisis being assuaged... It's my belief that this is why "in love" sex is so wild and special... extreme highs and extreme lows... and very enjoyable !!!

But this is not the same as loving someone in the way a marriage would work.

40

How many ways can a man romance a woman??

by dancnfool_60 in

jw
friends

hi everyone.i just wanted to see if i could get some help here for a male friend of mine.

he is having a hard time with the romance deptartment.

i gave him a few ideas of my own but i thought if i threw the question out there maybe i could get him some views on how to romance a woman..... thanks for any sugggestions.

gambit

Take her dancing... and if you don't know how, all the better... let her lead and catch on us quick as you can.

Jewelry is cool... but make it special by going out to eat and having the waiter/waitress serve it with desert (which you ordered when you gave the waiter/waitress the jewelry)...

Have flowers delivered to the workplace... nothing elaborate, and a suggestive note that she can share with all her lady friends...

Carnivals /Fairs /Amusement parks... but your not going for the rides, except the merry-go-round, kiddy bumpers, and pedal boats... cotton candy, dripping ice cream that you have to share before it melts... skip the popcorn...

A good ol fashion picnic with cold cuts and iced tea... a few strawberries or grapes for dessert.

The key to being romatic is to not be afraid... lighten up and enjoy yourself... she'll let you know if your on the right track...

51

Hi, my introduction.....finally.

by MonkeyPrincess in

i have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.

lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently.

i was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me).

gambit

Welcome Monkey,

I know the feeling about the 1st step... Hang in there. I lurked here for a while, then posted a few things, now I'm back to lurking. Some of the issues, discoveries, and personal truths that you will encounter can be very painful. I'll offer to you what my counselor keeps saying to me "Don't be so hard on yourself"...

Take your time, and trust your feelings.. I don't know too many people here, but I can tell you that they really do care.

gambit

35

What does the Trinity doctrine teach?

by hooberus in

the athanasian creed

we worship one god [note: the trinity is monotheistic teaching only one god] in trinity, and trinity in unity, neither confounding the persons[note: the trinity does not teach that the father and the son are the same person or that jesus prayed to himself] nor dividing the substance [note:though they are different persons they are the same god.].

for the person of the father is one; of the son, another; of the holy spirit, another.

gambit

My mom, who is still a dub but has faded somewhat in the past few years, allowed me to talk about religions and beliefs the other day... After waiting 25 years for the moment, I didn't hesitate... I went right after the trinity !!!

I had just read something similar to what you posted, and decided to explain things in simplified terms...

I told her that the belief in the trinity was no different that the belief in the family. There is a father, a mother and a child. They make up the family. Without anyone, you are not a family, yet each individual is seperate. The family will always exist, in some form or another, and relationships amongst the family members will change over time, and in fact, the child may even be considered a father's peer/friend at some point in life.

Anyway, I kept stressing the 3 individuals of the family and how that is really all the trinity is saying. It's not saying that there are three gods, no more that there are three families. One God, One Family.... 3 Spirits, 3 Members... All equal yet a hierarchy of membership, so on and so on....

Does this make sense to anyone? I am trying to figure out if I got through, if it is confusing, or what?

gambit

38

Ok finally the time is here

by SheilaM in

hi you all i'm starting this early.

my son is graduating next week from bootcamp.

if anyone would like to congratulate him on his achievemnent please do

gambit

ANTHONY --

They say that if you can get your mom wrapped around your finger,
you've got the world in the palm of your hands.

**** CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACHEIVEMENTS ****

9

COURAGE

by oldcrowwoman in

gambit

Thats what life is about life, death and rebirth. And to honor the processes.

OCW -- I love what you said... so, so true... And it takes courage to continue to honor life when your feeling blue.

When I was reading "The Courage to Change" by Dennis Wholley last winter, these few lines popped out...
To me, this symbolizes what is going on around us, life, death, and change, and the stirrings the make us feel alive.

Dark Angels; glistening in the wind Vibrant soldiers; turning in

A sound will echo at the sound of falling Time stands still at the time of calling The mind will see what the mind is thinking Dreams are sleeping when we are dreaming

The sound of falling is no sound at all The time of calling is a time for all The mind is thinking not knowing all We are dreaming or not at all

Dark Angels; listening to the wind Vibrant soldiers; churning within

13

What do you think is the best way to deal with karma?

by CruithneLaLuna in

oh, i am confused.

someone has given me a little taste of my own medicine, and i don't like it.. here we are, very close to eleven years later to the day.

does anyone know of some astrological or other synchronistic significance of a period of eleven years?.

gambit

You are guilty of the crime "Love like you've never been hurt"

It hurts, but it's still the only way to go... give it all, and be happy with what you get in return...

I believe you are wise in feeling your feelings and wishing her well in life...

Stay sober for a day or two... then get right back into life.

gambit

46

If Women Ruled the World

by iiz2cool in

jw
friends

these were just emailed to me.

enjoy!

walter.

gambit

If women ruled the world.... I would be a proud member of the "faithful and discreet slave class"

27

Suppose You Said "I Forgive the Watchtower"?

by metatron in

you may be confronted with relatives and witness friends who annoy you, with self-righteous comments about "coming back.

to the 'truth' and other judgemental urgings.. suppose you replied "i forgive the watchtower society for the terrible things they've done, i need to do that so i can progess as a. spiritual person".. such a response might be very disarming - and difficult to counter.. witnesses generally reject the notion that the watchtower can ever do anything wrong - rationalizing that any cruelties they.

inflict are somehow part of a greater divine purpose.

gambit

I got into a similar argument with my ex over the weekend.... I contend the following...

I contend... Healing is a process that allows forgiveness.
She contends... forgiveness is an event that allows healing.

I contend... I can forgive (as part of my process), but I'm not sure I will ever forget (certain events that you never want repeated)
She contends... She can forgive and forget easier than anyone she knows (I say that's denial, cause no apology or examination has occured)

So, Suppose I said "I forgive the Watchtower"?

I may, after I am well into my healing process be able to say "I forgive"... But, so long as they fail to assume responsibility and continue to error against humanity I will not forget and I will not forgive them for what they continue to do to others.

gambit