I have to make one of the toughest decisions of my life

by unbeliever 62 Replies latest jw friends

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  codeblue

  ok.......I feel you are a very smart young lady.

  Your pro's and con list is a great idea.

  I am a mother of 2, one step and one biological. I was happily married to a great husband that helped me a great deal with the kids. I had NO other support system. I moved frequently all over the US....

  You already have a great career and support system where you live and you don't love the father of your child. Stay true to yourself! Stay with your career because intellectually you need that to be a happy thriving Mom.............Moving to a foreign country with the only support system of a man you don't love is doomed to fail.

  If the dad needs to see his child, let him come to the US, but never take the child out of the country.

  Just my 2cents!
• 

  Kenneson

  Follow your heart and be happy. You've already decided.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  To be honest, the way you talk, you sound like the most responsible people I know. A lot of my friends have talked about their parenting anxiety when they're pregnant, and they always work it out on the night. Your situation is certainly the most complex, but you sound like you know yourself, and are a confident woman anyway. You want the best for your child and that proves your responsibility. The maternity leave idea sounds great because he'll be around when you're working it all out.

  A male friend of ours is almost the same as the father of your child; he and his girlfriend broke up just before she learned she was pregnant. She moved home to New Zealand and he moved there to be closer to them and 'be around'. He would do anything for his son, he couldn't stay though as he was unable to get work, so he had to come back and support them from afar. He loves his son deeply and misses him every moment. She got another boyfriend and his son calls the boyfriend 'dad', and that cuts him up. What I'm saying is, don't dismiss his feelings through your life. He'll love your child too, and if he's supporting your child it's only fair to give him a chance to show his love as often as he can. There are going to be difficult times, who knows what. Maintain a good relationship with the father, at least so that your child knows that their parents don't despise each other. I think you know all this though.

  Keep it together hon. And congratulations!!!