I have to make one of the toughest decisions of my life (page 2)

jschwehm

Hi:

If you do not love the guy do not marry him.

Have you thought of adoption? Most states have open adoptions now which means that you would have the opportunity to have a relationship with your child if you wish and you would get to choose the adoptive parents as well.

Here is a link for more information: http://www.adoptionservices.org/adoption/adoption_agencies_nevada.htm

Jeff S. www.catholicxjw.com P.S. As someone who knows an abortion survivor, I can tell you right now that you did the right thing in not having the abortion. Abortion not only kills the child, it also does terrible violence to women both physically and mentally. You are doing the right thing in having your child.

DanTheMan

I think your pro/con list says it all. And given all the cons, the pro of having the child growing up with both parents in the house wouldn't seem to carry nearly enough weight.

unbeliever

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I am so relieved there is a concesus that moving is a bad idea. His guilt trips really do get to me and he really put me through the ringer last night. Georgia I got a chuckle from your moral clause comment. It's just kind of funny. I live in Las Vegas and work for a law firm. No moral clauses in Las Vegas or the law firm. lol

You are right that I need to protect myself legally. He is rich so therefore has the resources to use the court system to make my life really difficult but I don't think it will come to that. I really want him in the picture where the child is concerned so would bend over backwards to make sure he as as much access as possible.

zagor

Whatever you decide do it for baby's sake, child deserves all love, happiness and opportunity he/she can get. Rushing into a marriage is not a wise thing but whatever you decide baby's happiness should take precedence.
Everyone I know thinks kids are greates gift and I'm sure they are, I've seen it, if you give them love, no one can love back like a child - baby in particular. (even though they are sometimes demanding, but hey we were all babies at one time)

TresHappy

First of all, choosing life is always the best option - I am so glad you made that choice; my best friend had an abortion in her 20's and it's haunted her 30 years later.

I would use the support system that I have been given. Don't marry if you don't love him.

Spectrum

If it's a boy he will want a father to do things with and look up to. If it is girl she will want a father as the man in her life that will love her unconditionally.

Two female cousins of mine came from not broken marriages but their fathers were always abroad or out working all hours god sent. They adapted by becoming unhealthily attached to guys and usually the wrong guys. One of them went from one man to another looking for that love that illuded her as a child and eventually lost her direction in life. She used sex to get guys to love her, eventually she gave up and just maintained a promiscous life style.

HoChiMin

unbeliever;

I care for him a great deal but I am not in love with him.

This is your answer stay home.

HCM

jgnat

You know the answer, it's just uncomfortable. Stay with the established network.

Now, work on allowing this man to be involved in the coming baby's life as much as possible. I am betting that when he finds out he can't convince you to move, he'll find new ways to be a dad.

drew sagan

I agree with TresHappy in that I'm glad you chose life. I offer a possible suggestion, it may be a good idea it may be a bad one. Here it is. I don't know much about your situation, but if you don't feel comfortable getting married then you probably shouldn't. I don't see how this would affect the family life. Do you think you could take time off and visit him with the child, spending time togeather. Mabyee even a few months at a time. Could he possibly do the same? Just a suggestion. What I really hope is that the two of you will be able to keep a close friendship with respect through all of this. If the child is stuck between two parents that complain and argue with each other, the situation will not be so great. On the other hand even if the two of you are not married but at least kind and respectful to each other, even able to spend time togeather with the child then you are in a much better situation than most. I think you decision is really based upon the kind of relationship you have with this man and if it can stay good even if you don't marry him. I wish you the best.

Nosferatu

Holy shit! You know, I've been exposed to people asking for advice on relationships, stalkers, surprise pregnancies, unwanted pregancies, but I've NEVER encountered a situation like this!

I guess it's pretty pointless to give you the lecture on how important condoms are, so I won't bother.

The way I see it, you have three options:

1) Keep the baby in your home

2) Let him keep the baby in his home

3) Give up the baby for adoption

Figure out which is the most viable option, keeping both of your interests in mind. The both of you need to agree with one of these choices, and feelings are going to get hurt in every single one of them.

I have to make one of the toughest decisions of my life

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