All sex in dangerous and sinful

by Norm 80 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Mistah MOJO
    Mistah MOJO

    "As we know God is extremely preoccupied with sex. In fact God use so much time and resources monitoring your genitals that he simply has to ignore, poverty, hunger, natural disasters etc. In spite of this close scrutiny oddly enough he still doesn’t seem to do anything about the pedophiles in the Watchtower Society, go figure."

    Spot ON! This is sarcasm worthy of...well, you and I! MM

    "As for me and my household, we will serve Jack Daniels"

  • VM44
    VM44

    In George Orwell's novel 1984 mention is made of an "Anti Sex League"!!!

    Another correlation between that novel and The Watchtower Society!

    --VM44

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Crumpet:

    Dansk - get off the sex threads!

    Oh, you've noticed have you!

    I always know where to find you lately - if you arent deceiving me into a what I think is a thread about your conversion to Allah, which turns out to be about juicy virgins then you are on another loose conduct thread!

    May I show my face again now? You made me laugh my socks off!!!

    Dave_T:

    "Juicy virgins"? Who said Islam wasn't a religion of love? (hehe). Dansk, you've made a convert out of me.
    You're too late, Dave! Half of JWD have already signed up and now there's a problem finding the required virgins! Gill:

    Crumpet - We have proof that Dansk is FEELING much better!

    Good on ya Dansk!

    Keep it up! Whoops! I didn't mean to say that!

    He He He, you girls ARE naughty - but I like you!! Swan:
    BTW, how come the article doesn't mention if it is okay or not to lean against your washing machine during the spin cycle?
    WOW! Are you into that too?!! BoozeRunner:
    I need new kitchen counters.
    Another one I see! Yep, I'm going to have to find another excuse for why the tops are getting worn I'd just like to say that the ladies on this and some other threads are hilarious! I've not laughed so much since the last time washing machine spun!! Ian
  • Norm
    Norm

    Hello Crumpet,

    You said:

    "Norm - never having had intercourse with a JW (yet!) could you let me know the scriptural reasons for not being able to enjoy it doggy style?

    I have every confidence in Jehovah's organ knowing what's best for me, but what if the missionary stance doesn't work for me? Is missionary standing up face to face ok? What about if I wish to lean against the kitchen unit a little?"

    No I can't show any scriptural reason for it but as a male in possession of a todger I am of course much closer to God then any mere female and like all holy males I have found that God agrees with me in everything, just like the GB in Brooklyn/Patterson.

    Well, since I am fortunate enough to have my own organ I tend to favour any position that gives good toehold, decent traction that enables good thrust. What are your position on that Crumpet?

    Norm

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    Well, since I am fortunate enough to have my own organ I tend to favour any position that gives good toehold, decent traction that enables good thrust. What are your position on that Crumpet?

    Norm

    My position on that - is sitting at my desk laughing as loudly as I dare! And at Dansk too!

    I bow before any Norwegian that can get the words "toehold" and "traction" in a loose conduct thread! I am soooo looking forward to Norway in July!

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    What are your position on that Crumpet?

    The crowd waits with bated breath........................

    Ian

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    waits with bated breath

    Oi - no hyperventilating you - or you wont make it to apostacurry night!

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    or you wont make it to apostacurry night!

    WOW! As good as that, eh!

    Ian

  • chuckie77
    chuckie77

    All this talk about sex... Oi! Im not coping well, I've been stuck on a boat for 5 weeks straight now and im getting SEVERE withdrawals!!!

    Just as a side point... What does the organisation say about wet dreams? Are teenagers allowed to have them? Should they be encouraged against dreaming or just as soon as they do should they wake up and quickly start praying for forgiveness? I bet theres some elders who would love to hear all about the dreams before they harass counsel the poor kid that went to them!!!

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    What does the organisation say about wet dreams? Are teenagers allowed to have them?

    Chuckie - i had one last night - yes girls get em too when deprived! The only reference I can recall was in the red Youth book that preceded the blue Young People Ask book and it was to do with not sleeping on your back or front as obviously that encouirages arousal (yeah right ) and also not eating certain rich foods near bed time. I wondered for years and years after I left what the rich foods were that would give me erotic dreams ... I think chocolate was one of them... However I believe the gist was that young boys should not feel guilty about such dreams if they have not encouraged them...and that youngf girls are just dirty sluts ... or maybe my mum added that bit!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit