Would you date someone with a history of INCEST? (page 6)

bisous

sounds to me, based on your comments KA, that you already hold the answers to your question. More a matter of disappointment and denial that may be postponing your inevitable conclusion. Follow your gut, it appears to already be guiding you.

choosing life

In short, absolutely not. That is a place I would never go and this girl is going to be around as part of the family. Who wants a man like that.

avishai

I'd never do it myself, or officiate at a wedding like this (I'm a wedding minister)

But only recently is this a cultural taboo, in some cultures this is expected. And they were (well, at least she was) consenting adults. Soooo....I'd say it's a grey area, but i'd still suggest counseling. For all of you, even if you don't stay in the relationship.

onlycurious

I think this speaks VOLUMES about his character.

The fact that he is not willing to draw a clear line in the sand regarding his relationship with her speaks VOLUMES about him as a man.

Enough said......but my advice? RUN, RUN, RUN as FAST as YOU CAN!

MsMcDucket

This man is conning you. He and his cousin are friends, still. He has no guilt or anger. I'd be angry if someone tried to coerce me into a sexual relationship by using blackmail or lying. I'd never want to see the person again. Something sounds fishy.

I think that they are still kissing cousins and not former kissing cousins.

JeffT

Here is the key:

But I have a problem with it. I know that if I told him I had been having sex with a cousin or whatever of mine, he'd FLIP if I still talked to them! He doesn't want me to talk to anyone I've ever had sex with or even been on a date with at all. So I don't see why he shouldn't follow his own rules.

He won't follow his own rules because they're for you not him. My daughter (in her late twenties at the time) dated a guy like this. I ended up filing a police complaint against him when he wouldn't stop calling our house looking for her after they broke up. One of the pieces of advice I got from the police (seriously) was "if you shoot him make sure the body lands in your house." We think he may still be looking for her, three years later.

My wife has a friend who married a guy who had some "history" but it was supposedly all behind him. They've got two young kids. As I'm writing this he's in jail on charges of breaking and entering, stealing women's underwear, and child porn.

From what I've seen these things only get worse, not better.

MsMcDucket

Found this information regarding legalities and religious aspects on kissing cousins:

	26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US.
	US prohibitions against cousin marriages predate modern genetics.
	No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.
	Children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk. Genetic counseling is available for those couples that may be at a special risk for birth defects (e.g. You have a defect that runs in your family) In plain terms first cousins have at a 94 percent + chance of having healthy children. Check the links section for more information on genetic counselors. The National Society of Genetic Counselors estimated the increased risk for first cousins is between 1.7 to 2.8 percent, or about the same a any woman over 40 years of age.
	Second cousins have little, if any increased chance of having children with birth defects, per the book "Clinical Genetics Handbook”– courtesy of the March of Dimes.
	The frequency of cousin marriages in the USA is about 1 in 1,000. The frequency of cousin marriages in Japan is about 4 in 1,000
	It is estimated that 20 percent of all couples worldwide are first cousins. It is also estimated that 80 percent of all marriages historically have been between first cousins!
	In some cultures, the term cousin and mate are synonymous.
	Albert Einstein married his first cousin. And so did Charles Darwin, who had exceptional children.
	Franklin D. Roosevelt, the longest serving US president in history married his cousin (not a first cousin, however they shared the same last name).
	Leviticus 18 lists all forbidden sexual relationships. Cousin relationships are not included.
	God commanded many cousins to marry, including Zelophehad's 5 daughters, Eleazar's daughters, Jacob (who married both Rachel and Leah, first cousins), and Isaac and Rebekkah (first cousins once removed)
	It is likely that Joseph and Mary -- Christ's earthly parents were first cousins.
	Current studies indicate that cousin couples have a lower ratio of miscarriages -- perhaps because body chemistry of cousins is more similar. The verdict is still out.
	We are all cousins. No two people are more distantly related than 50th cousins.

http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=facts

Now, I don't know if this is truly fact or not.

Mystla

You need to redefine your definition of incest. What your Bf did was not incest. My Bro-in-law is married to his cousin and they have three beautiful, intelligent children.

If he makes you feel "creepy" it's time to move on. The fact that he feels guilty and is making a big deal of it shows that he felt it was wrong and he did it anyway. If he was truely coersed into a sexual relationship then he needs help to move on, otherwise it's you who should be moving on.

Misty

kristyann

reneeisorym, sorry to hear that about your relationship! I really value your opinion, though, considering you have been in a similar situation. You definitely seem to think it's a good idea for me to get out and it seems pretty urgent... as do a lot of the rest of you. JeffT, that is really scary stuff! The warning bells are definitely sounding. That is REALLY scary stuff. Thanks for the research MsMcDuckett and avishai. You're right, MsMcDuckett, I am being so naive. I mean, there's a possibility it could still be going on, or at least a lot more recently than he says, but I have been dumb, just believing only what I want to believe.

Would you date someone with a history of INCEST?

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