Why do you support having sex out of marriage?

by free2beme 58 Replies latest jw friends

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    Isn't it better to have a more focused direction with one partner rather than continually fragment one's life with numerous partners? But somehow this is not the fashionable thing to do or the politically correct to suggest. Despite the bitterness and aggravation that each ended relationship causes.

    Greendawn! You are assuming that each ended relationship ends in bitterness and aggravation - well it doesnt! While I was away both my exes - the one that ended 10 years ago and the one that ended 3 months ago both called to check I was having a good time and whether they could do anything for me in my absence. We talk most days and are good good friends. From my experience I feel like the more relationships I have the more wonderful friends I make.

    Life does not become fragmented by numerous partners unless you are trying to microamanage relationships with them all. How does my life get fragmented when I choose to invite a casual partner to join me in my otherwise solo activties that night? I'm not having a relationship with my dildo and neither am I having one with the one night stand. Neither are they with me.

    I dont say this because it is fashionable. Have you thought that the majority of us dont get lucky enough to find a partner thats good enough to last a life time. I 've had one good enough for 3 years and one good enough for 9 years and several good enough for one night. When I find someone I like I settle down with them and when we need to grow separately and take different paths we become friends. Who knows, may be I will meet someone who fulfills everything for all time - but I wont know that until I take my last breath and have been with them all that time so I am making no predictions and taking what life offers generously and giving it back to. Generously. I would feel selfish if I kept me all to myself! ;-)

    Mouthy = I love everything you wrote!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I had a lot more sex in any given year before my wedding day than I did in the entire 20 years following it, so I'd be a hypocrite to oppose premarital sex.

    I really don't care one way or the other as long as it's all between consenting adults.

    W

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    I have to agree with our Crumpy in the main...............whether thats cus us Brit girls are a wee bit loose or just because.................(I dont really think British girls are loose.......its their nicker elastic thats loose.......ok I am stopping with that now.............I am not saying anyone is loose).....................but the point I wholeheartedly agree with Crumpet on is that the end of a sexual relationship or one where you live together (for those that live together but dont have sex) does not mean the end of everything and it does not mean you have to be bitter and evil toward each other. I am still friends with my ex hubby (though he drives me nuts sometimes and reminds me why I didnt want to be with him any more), I am still friends with a lot of my exboyfriends (although my first one is a JW elder now and cant talk to me now...........Yawn) but him and his wife were two of my closest friends pre d/fshipping and my last bf before hubby 2 is a good buddy and gets on fine with hubby 2.

    It is nice when you remain friends................these people were once VIPs in your life and just because you are not doing rude things doesnt mean you cant care.

    Fi

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    It is nice when you remain friends................these people were once VIPs in your life and just because you are not doing rude things doesnt mean you cant care.

    Fi

    Very well said - I think we will get along just fine when we finally meet up hon!

  • new boy
    new boy

    Well said Crumpet........you go girl.

    The "old" way of looking at things is just that.......the "old" way

    Religions want 2 things 1.control over your minds (in and out of the bedroom) and..........2.your money.

    Open up your minds people there is no "one" way of doing or looking at things anymore.

    And Jehovah the God who would get pissed off and kill you just for shooting your sperm on the ground, is no more......It was a trick the churches dreamed up for..............you guessed it, CONTROL over YOU!

    The churchs have been trying to control sex since the begining of time.

  • daystar
    daystar

    Why not? People that suggest that there is something wrong with it are basing this on presumptions and assumptions.

    My having had sex outside of marriage was never a cause of the dissolution to any relationship, ever. My having been in a high control Christian sect which assumed guilt of sin from birth on, that the flesh itself is sinful, that kept me socially ignorant is much, much more directly to blame for any relationship problems.

    Sex, in or out of marriage is fantastic. Good sex is all good!

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee
    Sex, in or out of marriage is fantastic. Good sex is all good!

    AMEN Brother!!

    BB

  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    I'm still a virgin at 34 and cannot for the life of me bring myself to have sex. Been a JW since I was 15, got DF for immorality a couple weeks ago, didn't have intercourse but did enough to warrant being DF. I'm still not sure it's what I want though, I mean I always wanted to wait til marriage as I think it makes it more special. I also want to make sure the person absolutely loves me before giving myself to him. So unless he proposes to me, no sex

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore

    I'm still a virgin at 34 and cannot for the life of me bring myself to have sex. Been a JW since I was 15, got DF for immorality a couple weeks ago, didn't have intercourse but did enough to warrant being DF. I'm still not sure it's what I want though, I mean I always wanted to wait til marriage as I think it makes it more special. I also want to make sure the person absolutely loves me before giving myself to him. So unless he proposes to me, no sex.

    Not to offend or anything but I have to ask: Is it really more special if you wait until your married at 45ish and starting to fall apart, instead of having sex before marriage while your in your prime?

    Waiting 'till marriage is fine... if you intend to get married sometime before you're an old person.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    (((thinking of leaving)))) That was very brave of you to come out and say that honey. I can understand where you are coming from. I have friends in a similar situation. I think that what happens is you learn to actually deaden you body members so you completely repress those natural impulses because of this bloody organisation. It makes me so mad! I think you will either be really lucky and finally meet someone, or you will be left filled with regret.

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