JC is over... now the aftermath

by drew sagan 66 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Quandry

  I am a long ago victim of a "2 man investigation team" at age 16. Both men met separately with me to find out what I had been doing after horrible accusations. Most were bogus. I was sobbing both times out of fear and not wanting to be thrown out.....they didn't care, I was to be trashed.

  Hammer, I know that perhaps it is hard to understand the depth of anger that some have on this board. When you read the post above, did you not feel for this poster?

  This was the same type of abuse that my daughter went through at the hands of five "spiritual shepherds." Told that she was a liar when she would not admit to fornication, never mind that there was never an accusation or witness or admission of it. She was verbally abused, humiliated, degraded, demeaned, and told she was "filth in God's eyes and would burn with the devil and his angels." Of course, then she was df'd.

  What do you suppose that does to a sixteen year old honor student who had never been in any kind of trouble before? Do you think months of therapy were sufficient? No, plus there was her dad and I telling her for hours at a time that she should live and not try to take her life because they made her feel worthless.

  Yes, I guess my attitude is bad. I can't get over the hurt and anger at these men (and I use the term deridingly)
• 

  Narkissos

  Drew & Amber,

  I'm really sorry for how it turned out, although not completely surprised...

  At that point I guess I would do nothing -- except telling Amber's folks how it really went before they get the official version. Not sure it will help, but it might. Although I have nothing against DA in general, I don't think it's the best thing to do once the judicial process has started, as far as communication to JWs you care for is concerned.

  I too would plead for "Judas B" (or should I say "Peter B"?). I'm sure the guy was well-meaning and sincere but he realised the consequences at midway and couldn't face them, because he had not decided to leave. The only way he could solve his cognitive dissonance was to side with the accusers, objectively making your case worse because of his previous understanding. This kind of person is the most likely to get you in trouble when s/he doesn't mean to (and I have one personal example in mind).
• 

  hammer1

  First of all I never suggested you were Judas, i was suggesting that advising Drew to this was wrong and unchristian and therefore not great advice. I am sorry you have these strong feelings against these "elders". I grapple with these same emotions but know that following Christ's example is the best way.

  I think you know that it does not matter what Drew or his family testify as to what this "Judas Elder" said or did not say. They have their sights on Drew and will not let up until they devour him and all those who support him. The "elder" is basically untouchable and will be overlooked in their "quest for justice". All this Judas has to do is pledge his allegiance to the organization and they will leave him alone.

  As far as this Judas suffering the same fate, trust me he will and more so as he will be judged by God. The actions of unauthorized and unchristian JC does not really matter, The hell with them. Jesus assured his followers that we would all be judged by same standard that we judged others. Therefore he counseled us not to judge.

  Having been with thru many JC meetings I would not wish them on my worst enemy. There is very little judicous about them.
• 

  garybuss

  
  
  Drew & Amber,
  Elder B was a Judas goat. In my personal experiences many Witnesses are full of hook, crook, setup and scam. I think you both were hooked by a crook, setup and scammed.
  
  If the parents you are so worried about shun you because of this setup, they aren't worth worrying about. Some book printing company ain't gonna get me to shun my kids.
  
  
• 

  greendawn

  That elder B is quite a slimy person he has apparently led you into a trap it's true that JW elders should not be trusted they always obey and work for the FDS. Congrats for becoming an emperor.
• 

  Odrade

  ::::As long as I am considered as part of the congregation the elders have some authority over me; ::::

  Amber, the elders only have authority over you if you give them that authority. Whatever their decision, you are going to live your life as a healthy, thinking member of society, right? So where is their authority? They cannot require you to DA, and DF'ing you only works within the bounds of their own little world and the other people who choose to subject themselves to it. They have NO authority to force you to be "Amber Rose Disfellowshipped Sagan" or "Amber Rose Disassociated Sagan", can they? Just because it is their rule, doesn't mean it has to be yours.

  Wishing you both the best. -O
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  How can anyone on earth think this organisation is from God? How?

  It STINKS and it's ROTTEN TO THE CORE.

  Pope
• 

  Gretchen956

  Sorry Drew and Amber, that you have to go through this mess. I personally decided not to give them ANY power by not playing by their rules at all. If you attempt to argue with them you have to remember the old saying, which I edit to this topic: arguing with an elder is like wrestling with a pig, you both get dirty and you find out the elder pig actually enjoys it. I always feel like the elders are old men in bad suits playing at god. The only power they have is what is given them by those that believe the voodoo that they preach. If a voodoo priestess cursed you, would you be cursed? Yes, if you believed you were cursed you would live out that experience. If they cast judgement on you what value does that judgement have? Place it in one hand and a five dollar bill in the other and you can buy a Starbucks.

  The fact that you stand to lose your family is what makes this tragic instead of comedic. I only wish one day someone would snap their fingers and all the scales would fall off the eyes of the "faithful" so that they could see what a mass of lies it all is. In the meantime, you have the fact that your family do know that you were lied to, perhaps you can use that as an inroads to keep in touch.

  Whatever happens, good luck to you both.

  Sherry
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  flipper

  Hello Drew, Sorry you and your wife went through this. Many of us have. You did have fair warning from alot of us. But remember elder B and all elders speak with forked tongue. Not just white men. Their allegiance is first, last, and always to the governing body of Jehovah's Witlesses. Hang in there my friend. Peace , Mr. Flipper.
• 

  drew sagan

  Thanks for all the comments everybody! They are much appreciated. It's going to take a while to get through all the posts. I can't respond back to everybody, but I'll make sure to read every one.
  
  Narkissos: it seems you already knew our next move! Your analysis of elder-b I think was dead on.