Can someone be almost gay? How does that work?
Well....I'm almost 6 1 does that help!
I need a girlfriend
by Junction-Guy 94 Replies latest jw friends
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kerj2leev
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Anony-Mouse
I also need a girlfreind!
I'm not very picky. I'd like her to be female.
That's about my only requirement :P . -
lola28
I'm not very picky. I'd like her to be female.
hehe.
JG, I hope this does not upset you but i think that you might actually be gay.
Lola
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bigdreaux
junction guy. sorry to hear your going through this. i went through the same thing when i split with my wife. not the questioning of sexuality, but, the loneliness is almost unbearable at times. i had lots of friends, even had sex with quiet a few women, but, i missed that connection. my advise is date both sexes, see what feels right for you. don't be afraid to be yourself man. i see you live in tennessee, i don't know much about that area, but, from my perspective, it doesn't seem that open minded. my advise is to go to a place where people are more accepting, more progressive. live life and see what fits for you. i like an expression my friend always says, loose yourself to find yourself. don't be afraid to try what your interested in. the worst thing you can do is to try to live a life to appear "normal" to others. good luck on your journey bro.
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Paralipomenon
Hey JG, if you're not over your wife yet what do you think you will offer in a relationship?
Can you really be dedicated to someone new when you're still holding a torch for your ex? They'll always be wondering if the chance came up for you to get back together, would you dump them and leave?
If you can handle it, I would suggest recreational dating. Be upfront that you're out of a long term relationship and are just looking for companionship with the eventual possibility of romance later. Check out forums for divorcees where there's other people that are hurt.
Get comfortable with the idea that you're moving on before seriously committing to someone, otherwise you'll only end up breaking hearts.
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helncon
Good Luck in your search
Helen
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cognizant dissident
Let's see, we need to help JG find a Conservative, Christian Republican who is "almost gay" friendly. Is it just me or does any one else see a potential problem here?
JG, I feel for your loneliness, but your "ideal" woman's head would implode from the cognitive dissonance she would have to carry around to pull off that list of qualities you described!
You may just have to prioritize that list a little and decide what is MOST important to you.
cog
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AK - Jeff
Dave -
Did not have time [on my way out the door to work] to read your entire thread. But I saw on page one you repeatedly mentioned that the woman of your dreams would 'understand my confusing sexuality'.
It looks to me, and I am not fully informed as to what that statement means, that you need to understand 'your confusing sexuality' first. You seem obsessed with it's effect on her - but I think you might need to become more aware of what effect it is having on you.
Have you considered a therapist to work through this issue - so that you can present yourself to a future partner sure of yourself, instead of expecting to shift that burden to her? Just a thought.
Jeff
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Junction-Guy
Many good answers here.
Lola and Bryan, no Im not gay, and I dont desire to have a boyfriend, a male partner, gay lover, or anything of that nature. I could never date a man as it wouldnt feel natural. Guy friends are always cool to have, but a boyfriend just inst for me.
I will always love Amanda, so should that mean I be single forever?
Im Ok with the idea of a therapist, but I dont see really what they could do. I had thought of attending a reparative therapy group with the intention of meeting a bi woman who understands me, however they are few and far between in this area.
Im not quite ready yet to date, but that time will come again in the future.
Im just lonely and miss the good old days of Amanda and I out sightseeing, holding hands, going out to dinner, and just having fun. I would like to find another woman to date, however I wont just date just to be dating, and I wont date a woman that I dont feel attracted to, just to not be lonely, understand me?
I want to fall head over heels in love like I did when Amanda and I first got married in 1994. I want to feel that feeling again. I want to be happy again. -
cognizant dissident
Lola and Bryan, no Im not gay, and I dont desire to have a boyfriend, a male partner, gay lover, or anything of that nature. I could never date a man as it wouldnt feel natural. Guy friends are always cool to have, but a boyfriend just inst for me.
If that is true, Dave, then why do you describe yourself as "almost gay"? Because that doesn't sound at all gay. If you mean that you do have feelings of sexual attraction to men but have no desire to pursue them or a sexual relationship with men, for whatever reason, then you are still "gay". You are just a "celibate gay". If you also have sexual feelings and attractions to women then perhaps you are bi-sexual. In which case you probably would need to find either a bisexual woman who only wanted to pursue the heterosexual side of her sexuality like yourself. Or, a very understanding heterosexual woman, as you say, who wouldn't be afraid that one day you might change your mind and decide you would like to explore your sexual attraction to men further. Those factors alone, probably do limit you to a small section of the female population as potential mates.
To narrow your selection further, you add that the woman should be bi-friendly and a conservative, Christian, republican! I think that is somewhat of an oxymoron! I'm not saying that such a woman doesn't exist, but I am saying that it could be like finding a needle in a haystack! The majority of people who are not concerned about other's sexual orientation or issues are by and large quite liberal and definitely not conservative in outlook. So, I wonder that you exclude them. It makes me question whether you truly do want to find someone or only want an idealistic fantasy woman. Your comments about wanting to have a "feeling" of being in love also cause me to ask that question. "Feelings" come and go and the euphoria of being in love wears off in EVERY relationship or at least wanes considerably over time. That is very different from loving and accepting a person enough to accept all of whom they are including when they change.
You still give the appearance of being very confused about your own sexuality, what you want in a partner, your own feelings about what love is. I think that is what everyone who commented is sensing and why they keep recommending counseling for you. What a good counselor/therapist will do is to help you gain some clarity about who you are and what you really want in a partner. You don't "need" a girlfriend. You "need" to know thyself!
Cog