I need a girlfriend (page 7)

bigdreaux

honesty is always the best policy bro. hiding your true self will make you miserable. you need a woman that will understand you no matter what. just my opinion.

Thanks Bigdreaux, maybe sometime I will visit New Orleans again and we can hang out in the French Quarter. New Orleans is a really cool city, so much to see.

By the way did most of the businesses on Veterans Blvd. recover?

There were 2 restaurants there that I loved to eat at, Pancho's and the Louisiana Purchase Kitchen, do you know if these 2 restaurants are still in business?

bigdreaux

pancho's is gone. it's a circuit city now. louisiana purchase remodeled and is back up and running. veterans hwy. and airline drive are getting a major face lift. that's actually the area i live in. my backyard is on airline drive.

Junction-Guy

That's a shame about Pancho's, I really enjoy their mexican food. There are other Pancho's in Texas and they too are delicious.

Im glad the Louisiana Purchase is still around. I hope they expanded their dining room, it did seem small and cramped.

Bryan, who posts on this board lived in Kenner during Katrina, he now lives in Wahington State.

I would like to go down there again and see how it looks since Katrina, especially the French Quarter, are most of those businesses reopened?

bigdreaux

yeah, louisiana purchase moved to the building o'henry's used to be in. it's much bigger now. the french quarter is fine. it looks like nothing happened there. metairie, where i live is back to normal. uptown is the same. mid-city is struggling, but, getting there. the east is still a mess. nothing going on there. chalmette is buzzing, but, not much happening.

Junction-Guy

One more thing, what about that upscale shopping area on canal street, called Canal Street Place, there was a Saks Fifth Avenue there, is it reopened?

cognizant dissident

Along the lines of what little drummer boy said, the way you describe yourself is definitely not gay. I am a woman and I can tell you that women check other women out all the time and rate their attractiveness. It does not mean they are gay and want to have sex with them! Many men and women fantasize about having threesomes involving a third person of the opposite and the SAME gender. I don't think even that makes you gay or bi-sexual. Fantasy is just fantasy. Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go and EVERYBODY has them. Perhaps the reason you interpret this type of thought as GAY is because you grew up in such a conservative, christian, homophobic environment where even to say you thought another man was nice looking was to be immediately labeled as GAY. Labelling and judging every thought is a very guilt-inducing Judeo-Christian mind trip! Perhaps you need to widen out in your associations and not confine yourself to such a narrow-minded group as they seem to be influencing your thinking about gayness to the point of confusing you about your own sexuality.

An interesting difference between men and women is the openness with which women are allowed to pursue female affection in their friendships. Women openly hug and kiss their girlfriends, can hold hands in public, cry on each other shoulders, tell their deepest fears and secrets to their girlfriends for support etc without fear of being labeled gay. But for men in our society to openly admit that they need this type of friendship and support from other men is to risk being labelled GAY! They have to get their fix of male bonding only through very narrow, macho approved ways, such as physical contact sports. Ever notice how much ass patting and grabbing goes on in professional sports?

Have you considered NOT labeling yourself anymore in any way as "gay", "almost gay", or possibly "bi-sexual"? Since you have not had a gay relationship and don't want one, what purpose does it serve to label yourself in such a way except to very severely limit your choices with the opposite sex? It will also limit your friendships with other men (which you say you need more of). Do you think it is possible that you put such unreasonable "criteria" on any potential women you may date, that you practically GUARANTEE rejection? Is it possible you actually are afraid of another intimate relationship with a woman, perhaps thinking it can never measure up to the one you had with Amanda, or you are afraid it will go bad and you will be HURT once again? Telling just about any woman you are possibly a little bit almost gay will probably push her away and I think on some level you KNOW that!

Have you considered just developing some relaxing friendships with men and women you find attractive and would like to hang out with, without bringing sexuality (or talking or worrying about it) into the equation at all for the time being?

Cog (I'm not trying to psychoanaylize you Junction Guy, I just calls em like I see em)

Junction-Guy

Thanks Cognizant Dissident, I dont have time right now to reply, but I will reply to this later.

Junction-Guy

Thanks for your reply Cognizant dissident.

You gave alot of good advice.

I havent been seeking out any women lately, Im just laying low right now and trying to get my finances in order. Once I get some financial leeway I may start looking again.

I realize there is alot of stuff I have left out, but some things involve my marriage and I dont feel comfortable telling them here, and I dont want to make Amanda out to be the bad guy (or girl) in this marriage. We had alot of mutual problems together and I prefer to just leave it at that.

Even though I grew up as a JW, I did grow up in Ohio, and back in those days a guy would never admit to another guy being goodlooking, fundy or not, it just wasnt something that straight guys did. I realize that times have changed and now it's Ok for a straight guy to admit that another guy is attractive or that he has gay friends, but where I was raised this definitely wasnt so..

I think alot of this plays into my current situation. I believe that it is mostly pychological and circumstancial and that I dont believe that I was born gay, born almost gay, or born bi. I believe that I was a totally staight guy that somewhere along the way things went wrong and I reacted to them in unconventional ways.

When I do meet another woman I will have to give her my personal history eventually and let her decide what to do.

I believe that a secular woman would probably be less accepting of me than a christian woman.

Dave

noni1974

JG your one of the nicest guys on these boards.I think you have a lot to offer a lady.I agree with the people telling you to find yourself before getting into another relationship. And get over your ex before you get involved with another woman.I can relate to that myself.I broke up with my EX boyfriend in Febuary.I still miss him.He was the first man I ever loved.

I have since been on a mission to get to know myself.What I want in a man and what I have to offer a man.I have also been working on expressing my feelings which I have a hard time doing (I never told my EX I loved him).There are other things I'm am working on as well.I am working hard at expressing my feelings and not just pushing them down and ignoring them.I am also working hard at making myself happy.I don't need another person to be happy I am happy all on my own.A man will add to my happyness but will never be my only source of happyness.

Work on being happy by yourself.Do things you like to do.Go places you like to go.Be happy on your own first.

One of the keys of happyness for me was finaly getting a car after 3 years of not having one.My sence of self has gone way up because I don't have to get rides or take the bus.I have my freedom back.I still have goals I need to accomplish before I get back into dating.When I feel ready I'm going to get right back on the horse and meet a man.And when I do I'll tell him how I feel about him I'll let myself be open to someone else even if it means I'll get hurt.

I need a girlfriend

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