Fade Unsuccessful

by FadingELD 55 Replies latest jw experiences

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  tula

  what about the scripture that when a man and woman are joined in matrimony there is a warning...'Let no man put asunder!'

  Asunder means to break apart or come between.

  This is exactly what people in the org are doing.

  They themselves are violating God's law by interferring in people's marriages to the point of causing them to turn on one another and "tattle" on each other.

  Where is her loyalty? To you or to a group of old fa--? she needs to decide. If she thinks the elders will comfort her when shes down, support her with her life goals, and be there when she needs an extra hand...then tell her maybe they will make a better husband to her.

  I would be firm.

  This organization has usurped your authority as head of your household.

  And they have put asunder your marriage .
• 

  95stormfront

  If she thinks the elders will comfort her when shes down, support her with her life goals, and be there when she needs an extra hand...then tell her maybe they will make a better husband to her.

  The exact statement I made to my wife towards the beginning of my exit.

  when she decided that she didn't want to work secularly anymore, my only request from her was that she'd be happy with whatever I was able to provide. I told her that I'd never weild money as a weapon towards her.

  During my exit I only asked that I be given the same autonomy in exercising my conscious as I was giving her in wanting to stay a witness. When I determined that she just wasn't hearing that, I laid down the gauntlet as I wasn't interested in staying in an hostile marriage just because it would make jehovah happy or the congregation and JW's look good.

  I guess she assessed the situation....her confortable lifestyle compared to some of her JW sisters who were working like slaves housecleaning and decided that a bird in the hand was more valuable than two in a bush.
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  journey-on

  Welcome to the forum, FadingEld

  I have no advice as far as how to handle the elders or your wife. Others are more astute in that area.

  But, I can tell you this for an absolute certainty: DO NOT ABANDON YOUR SONS FOR ANYBODY,

  ESPECIALLY FOR THE WTB&TS. Your sons should be surrounded with love and forgiveness and understanding.

  My brother got df'd at 17 and his whole support system was jerked out from under him and he took a tailspin that

  he has never recovered from. DON'T DO IT!
• 

  free2think

  First of all Welcome

  ((((((((((((((FadingEld)))))))))))))

  Im glad you found us.
• 

  V1710

  welcome to the forum. sorry for what your going through. i think in the long run you will feel better that the cards are all out on the table. hat's off to you for not neglecting and abandoning your sons. teenagers need support, guidance and love.
• 

  eclipse

  I wanted to welcome you....I am so sorry that your wife felt the need to tattle...

  I hope your sons stand by your side...and hopefully one day your wife will have her eyes opened too.

  All the best to you, fadingELD, I look forward to reading more of your posts....
• 

  DocBob

  I am a former elder and faded successfully several years ago - well, until I sent out a letter to all my old friends, but that is a whole other story.

  My recommendation: Do not meet with them - especially if they say it is a judicial committee.

  First off, there should not be a judicial committee formed until your guilt or innocence has been determined by an investigation by two elders. Reading C of C is not a disfellowshipping offense. You can probably get away with even admitting you read it, but refusing to comment on the content of the book. However, if you meet with them and defend Ray's POV then you have a real problem.

  As I was fading, after I had stepped down, the elders made two shepherding calls in 4 years and asked me what was wrong. I just told them that I did not want to get into it and held firm to that.

  Check out my website at www.docbob.org and read my Letter 1 and Letter2.

  Feel free to message or email me if I can be of any help.
• 

  Open mind

  Well that certainly sucks Big Time!

  Don't know enough about your situation to offer advice, except for:

  1. If you wanna stay in, you know how to do the dance. It's probably doable.

  2. If you're looking for a clean break, do what you need to.

  Just make sure YOU DECIDE how this is played. (As much as you can.)

  If you're up to it, and want input, let us know more about your situation.

  You have my deepest sympathy.

  Open Mind

  (3rd gen JW, recent or current elder (?), w/JW-loyal (?) wife & non-baptized kids, FWIW)
• 

  BabaYaga

  I can't think of anything uplifting to say... but I am happy that you are here. Hello and welcome, FadingEld.
  
  Hugs and strength to you.
  
  Love,
  Baba.
• 

  MadTiger

  I have seen so many stories where one of the climaxes is "the wife/husband/mom/dad/etc. found my CofC book.