my JW boyfriend wants reinstatement. What do i do

worldly girl81

For the past 5 months i have been in a wonderful relationship. He and i had started out as friends a few years ago, but realized that we were attracted to each other while he was going through his divorce earlier this year. He and his now ex wife are both JWs

He had been disfellowshipped about 2 years ago because of a relationship that he had with a non jw woman while he and his wife were seperated. However he decided to return to his wife and work on becoming reinstated. His wife decided last Dec. that she wanted a divorce. My bf tried hard to save his marriage and keep his family together (they have a young child), but it didn't happen. about 3 weeks into the divorce i admitted that i had always had an attraction to him and then he suddenly started seeing me in a new light. We started seeing each other about a week later.

Things have been going great with us, and we are very much in love but he seems to talk more and more about wanting to be reinstated and becoming involved again with his sons spiritual growth. My bf is a 2nd generation witness and his family are all active in the org. He says that he wants to do whatever it takes to be able to see paradise.

I myself have never been a witness and have no desire to become one. I am a single parent of a 7 year old daughter.Will our relationship be able to work? What should i expect if he wants to be reinstated? He had been very much in love with the woman that he saw while he was seperated, but started feeling guilty because he wasn't free to be with her, and felt that by being with her he was going against God.. I thought that maybe with me it would be different since he's divorced now and free to be with me, but am i just fooling myself? i really don't know what to expect at this point

Junction-Guy

To answer your question, yes you are fooling yourself, because his religion will take center stage in his life. If his religion was just another variety of Christianity, then it would be different. His religion is so controlling of his life, that simple things you may take for granted would be major issues for him.

My advice is seek you another guy that you are compatible with, and dont allow both yourelf or you daughter to become entangled in this mess.

4mylove

As much as I love my husband, I would say let it go unless he decides that JW world is not for him. It is VERY difficult to be involved in this faith (if you can call it that.)

Sorry honey, just trying to save you some heartache. Have you noticed a change in him since he's been inactive? You said you've known him for 5 years but only df'd two years. Did you know him when he was a big ol witness?

Good luck to you hon.

4

Satanus

In his religion, he is not supposed to be seeing you, not supposed to marry you. This sounds harsh, but, you are his dirty little secret. If you want more, or want to be more, find somebody else.

S

dawg

Hard to say worldly... that's one hell of a mess there.

brinjen

Not wanting to sound harsh but my advice? RUNNN!!!

4mylove

For a little more insight here's my story

www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/142632/1.ashx

firefly

hi there. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I myself have been in the same situation. I've never been a jw, but was in a year long relationship with a df'd witness. He told me how very much in love with me he was and wanted to be able to marry me. He too is a 2ng gen. jw and has a young child with his ex wife. To make a very long story short, after a lot of flip flopping between his love for me and his loyalty to the jws, the jws ended up winning and my heart was shattered.

My advice is to please get out of this relationship. You're fooling yourself on a couple of different levels. first of all he started seeing you a month into his divorce which sounds like he's rebounding to me, and secondly if he's wanting reinstatement then he will most likely let you go anyway. Do yourself and your daughter a favor and cut your losses with this guy. you will be much better off.

Good luck to you

parakeet

If you have any respect for yourself and love for your child, DUMP HIM NOW. If he gets reinstated, it means he will gladly and willingly allow you and your child (in the event of an accident) to bleed to death rather than defy the Watchtower's anti-blood-transfusion policy. If you think I'm joking, ask him -- then run like hell.

Mr. Majestic

If he wants to be reinstated then he will have to either marry you, which would be frowned upon, or he will be expected to dump you.

If he marries you then it will be his goal to get you in the religion, and you will all live happily forever, till you work out it is all a complete lie.

I really do feel for your predicament. What the others have said might be the right thing to do. But it will probably work itself out even if you do nothing about it yourself.

Think of your daughter first and please protect her from these people.

Wishing you the best,

Mr.M

my JW boyfriend wants reinstatement. What do i do

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