my JW boyfriend wants reinstatement. What do i do (page 3)

sweetface2233

Nah, I don't think so. I don't know Billzfan well, but I know he has 2 kids, not 1, and wouldn't think of being reinstated. Also, I think he has a little better character than that.

Her knowing the terminology may not mean much. Heck i know it myself. I can't begin to tell you how much time i put into researching this religion to try to be able to keep my ex boyfriend. At one time i actually even considered joining just so i wouldn't lose him. Thank GOD that never happened!!!

Jesus Christ, were do we find you people??!

The Oracle

Hey WorldlyGirl,

I am going to go a little bit against the grain here.

Even though there are some red flags in this relationship...this guy could be worth saving.

You say you are in a wonderful relationship. You must see something special in this guy, so why not display the greatest expression of love that you could possibly muster?

Free him from the cult, that he calls "the truth"

The great thing about your mission is that it will be PURE and RIGHTEOUS to the fullest extent...and it can not be denied...

If full scrutiny, open mindedness, and an earnest desire to find truth are applied - you will succeed and your boyfriend will be eternally grateful.

Study some of the comments in this forum, hit some websites, and tactfully, lovingly help him to open his eyes.

- Just my two cents.

Let me know if you need any help. It's what I do.

All the best to you! And welcome to the board!

The Oracle

Gregor

Drop this loser like a hot potato. Geesh! what a weinie! You described this guy and gave us his background, don't you see what we see? Don't you feel you are worth more than this? A word of advice, don't tell guys with kids who belong to a cult and are only 3 weeks into a divorce but still believe in the cult that you are attracted to them. Obviously this horny toad can't resist easy p---y.

skeeter1

I am so sorry for your predicament.

A JW wants to see paradise. This is the "carrot" the cult leadership throws at its followers. Since he has been in since birth, this is very, very embedded into his brain. He wants to never, ever die. He wants to live in paradise with his children.

The problem with the "carrot" is all the "sticks" the follower must bear to get into paradise. He must do everything right before Jehovah & the congregation. He can not question the Society, question the doctrines, he can't send his children to college unless he's viewed as weak, he will have no part of holidays/birthdays in his house, he will let his family members (wife & children) die from lack of blood, etc. To get into paradise, he must preach the good news to others & get bible studies going. He will be viewed by how well his house also has a relationship with Jehovah as proven by their works. For, to a JW, faith without works is dead. So, it becomes a matter of proving your works to prove your worthiness of Jehovah's paradise.

If you were to marry him, both you & your daughter would be highly encouraged to go to meetings. In fact, your daughter may be "highly encouraged" to go, despite your objections. He is the "Head" of the household. Alot of JW men beat their wives if they do not submit.

Another thing bothers me, he cheated on his wife before you? Whether he is a worldly or a JW, that should give you pause. Have you met his wife? What does she honestly have to say about him? Are you willing to take her soiled goods?

You sound like a nice, nice woman. I think you deserve better. Just as I would not recommend you get into a relationship with a drug abuser, I do not think you should get into a relationship with a 2nd generation JW, who wants to go back to the religion, and who has a past record of cheating on his wife.....

Go on a few dates with some other men. See what else is out there. I think you know deep down that another man will come along. But, you are dreading the pain of letting go. Just remember that the sooner you let go, the sooner you will heal, & meet someone with alot less baggage. What your boyfriend currently has is a ball & chain of a cult.

Skeeter

Honesty

Listen to that quiet voice in your head.

He is telling you what to do in this situation.

worldly girl81

Hi Skeeter. In response to your question, his wife and i had been friends, and after they seperated and he got with the girl he was with before me, she would often talk to me about how she didn't know what in the world he thought he was doing and that he was thinking only of himself. She wanted things to work out between them. I had felt so bad for the girl that he was with because she really loved him and treated him so good. I honestly couldn't understand why he had broken up with her and gone back to his wife.

firefly

Hi sixofnine. in reply to your last statement,

I had honestly thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with my ex bf. I've always believed that a husband and wife should have a shared belief. I was born and raised as a Baptist, but had loved him so much that i thought that changing my religious affiliation would be no big deal. I had no idea just how different the beliefs actually were until i started researching.

SixofNine

Quote:

Hi sixofnine. in reply to your last statement,

I had honestly thought that i was going to spend the rest of my life with my ex bf. I've always believed that a husband and wife should have a shared belief. I was born and raised as a Baptist, but had loved him so much that i thought that changing my religious affiliation would be no big deal. I had no idea just how different the beliefs actually were until i started researching.

No no, sorry, I wasn't clear. I meant "where do we find all you damn trolls?"

firefly

sixofnine, you're entitled to your opinion but i don't know what i've said to cause you to want to label me as a "troll". I"m a good and decent woman who unfortunately was taken for a horrible emotional ride by someone that i thought loved me. Heck, i had not even wanted a relationship, but he pursued me until i gave him a chance. My only mistake was that i ended up falling for him.

my JW boyfriend wants reinstatement. What do i do

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