If a Mother Can disown a Child over the JWs or vice-versa, what do you think a Husband can do to his wife if she disagrees with him? Do you really want to put yourself through this?
my JW boyfriend wants reinstatement. What do i do
by worldly girl81 74 Replies latest social relationships
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sacrebleu
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sacrebleu
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sass_my_frass
To him, it's you or them. Doesn't matter how much he loves you, for as long as he is a committed JW he will always feel a stronger compulsion to please the organisation and his family more than the need to be want you need from him. Decide now if that's what you want from life. Talk to him about it if you want, but don't kid yourself about where his priorities lie.
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wanderlustguy
Oh my God are you still here? Don't you see the screwed up people and lives here as a result of what they do to people? Why are you reading this?
We get one of you in here on a regular basis, I wonder how many actually listen and how many go on to become the posters on here who are non believing but married to a believer.
I am an ex dub guy and I would never wish me on anyone, much less when I was thinking about reinstatement. The guy is lying to himself and doesn't even know who he is. You don't know him at all and you don't even know it. The guy you know is not real, NOT REAL AT ALL!!! He is trained intensively in mind control and is so good at it he can even fool himself.
The only hope is that he realizes it and leaves, but even then he will totally change. Seriously, he is no more real than an actor on TV right now. You have to walk away or you will absolutely regret it.
Good luck, my heart goes out to you.
WLG
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NotaNess
Become active in being exactly how you were before you met him, as if you never knew him. This is where you need to be, move on, cause the pain now will be much shorter than the pain if you stay. You wouldn't pour salt on an open sore would you. Bandage your problem, get rid of the oncoming infection and start healing right away.
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oompa
worldy girl 81, you have quite a bit of feedback, but reaoning and tears will not work at this point...He is actually THINKING about going back...and that should scare you. The enviornement for your family would be like "third rock from the son", an alien atmosphere. I think you need something to really really snap him out of this, and I recommend a naughty movie and you taking charge of your man and sexually exploity and please this man in ways he has only dreamed of. His family and JW can't do that. Wear this man out! Then ask if he really wants to give all that up, that paradise now, for a bunch of hooey that changes day to day. good luck.....oompa...and have fun.
If this does not work, you will find a normal boyfriend soon...I promise
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B_Deserter
I apologize if this was covered but here's how it will happen if you decide to stay with him:
1. You will get married before he gets reinstated. JWs do not tolerate marriages outside the faith. If he marries you before rejoining the church, the sanctity of marriage will trump all else. Be warned though, living with a JW husband can be hell. He will be having scriptures like "as for me and my household, we will serve Jehovah" pumped into his head on a tri-weekly basis. His entire mission in life will be to bring you into the church, at least for the first few years. Depending on his personality, it may cool off, but there will still be a rift between you two. He won't celebrate holidays with you. You'll be on your own for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. He may pull the "as for me and my household..." crap and not allow it in the house at all. Also keep in mind that there are single women in the KH that will be spending a lot more time with him than you between service, meetings, etc. He may start to want a JW wife that he can "relate" to and you'll be cast aside at the first opportunity. To him, the church is MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU.
2. He will sit you down and end the relationship because he will NOT, repeat NOT, attain reinstatement while he remains in an unmarried relationship with you. It simply won't happen. Pray this is the option he chooses. -
Gayle
He's a flip-flopping guy,,his religion has found that flip-flopping works for them also.
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jessica448
i'm in the exact same situation...minus the divorce and kids...which i know changes things - but as far as my boyfriend considereing being reinstated. it's tough. i just hope that if he does reinstate, he'll take the time to explain the religion to me, i would consider converting for him. i hope he wouldn't just dump me.
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R.Crusoe
It's hard to know what sort of thinker he is. Someone once asked me if I was in touch with my essence. She perplexed me though at the time I dismissed her point because I did not know what she was on about. She was on about how I was conditioned to reason everything through even when cyclic arguments existed which left me in a state of impotence of some sort and unaware that I was.
To be concise - I feel an awareness that each generation of JW's for over 100 years have had a different essence of what their faith is! That is to say what each generation feels is very different than the last based upon the literature they absorbed at the time. And this generation is conditioned not to analyse that so as to keep absorbing the current spiel. If this guy wants to be sure in his own lifetime that he has exercised free choice then he will have to give himself time to get to a point where he feels that is what he is doing is what he wants and feels is in his heart. This will take a while - maybe even years but unless he realises this he could easily give up and simply fall in line whilst knowing something in his heart does not sit well with himself. He is not in touch with his essence! And there is no guarantee he will be in the future which is why some are reluctant.
Hope this is of use!
And WT spiel has all the warnings about 'the heart is treachorous' and 'man cannot direct his own step' and ' do not lean on your own understanding' to brainwash people into willingly giving up their conscious use of their own free will!
If that were what God wanted maybe he should have left our brains out!