Sirona,
I'm a Christian. I'm a slave of Jesus Of Nazareth, the Christ.
I say this with an open mind and heart. I grew up in a Baptist church, but found the hellfire and damnation teaching incompatible with the Bible.
I converted to the JW's because at the time I found their brand of theology appealing. Later, I came to the conclusion that their teachings were full of holes.
I went back to the Bible, rediscovered Jesus again for the first time, and have been on the road to healing ever since.
I've never mentioned this on the board; in early 2005, I was in a bad place - emotionally and spiritually. I cried out to Jesus for help and comfort because I knew He could understand what it was like to be at the end of your rope. I was ready to throw in the towel so to speak.
It was in the wee hours of the morning. I'd been discharged from the ER after presenting with a bp reading that was off the charts. I sat in my dining room and prayed like I'd never prayed before because I honestly felt like I was losing my mind.
As I was praying, I felt a warm and comforting Presence behind me. I didn't need to turn around to see or even ask Who it was. I knew! I felt a gentle, reassuring squeeze of my shoulders that let me know everything is going to be alright. I simply said, "Thank you."
That experience taught me two things: Organized religions are not the way to God, and the process of conversions starts with us.
We have to recognize our need for God; call out to Him for direction; then follow His leading. It is a personal, not organizational, thing. I also found out that reading the Gospel of John is the best way to find the real Jesus.
I hope this isn't too jumbled. I always get emotional when I relate my experience, but believe me when I say that I'm not delusional. My hope is for your journey to be filled with peace.
Sylvia