still considering going back to meetings...

by oompa 64 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  oompa

  Not that I want to or anything, but this therapist guy seems to think that it would be really helpful to my wife. He says to pull out the good and ignore what you dont like, and that supporting my wife a bit in this way could be good for us as a couple. It could also let us have at least some shot at keeping the old social life alive. There are two or three couples there I really like. I told the guy I may be putting myself in front of people who might get in my business and cause me grief. Right now I have not heard a peep in at least three months and only went to one meeting to hear a buddy give a talk.

  To tell you the truth, I have put my wife through such hell the last two years....how could I not go some for her? There is a FREAK factor, cause that is what people would think if I show. And I would be screaming on the inside Bullshi+, Bullsh1t , Bull$hit the whole time. I want to develop a sneez that sounds exactly like that word and use it often.....I do feel guilty about not doing this for my wife. What is really weird is that for over 40 years I've done the three meetings a week, plus service which is a TON of good ol sacred service.....but now I cant seem to put myself through it even twice a month??? I don't even understand that......................oompa

  plus I would be staying more current with stuff, and might could ASSIST some with an exit.....thats what we need.....instead of a Pioneer Assist program.....we can develop the Apostate Assist Associan

  =
• 

  onacruse

  One question I feel compelled to ask: Does this therapist have any real idea of what the JW environment is all about?
• 

  Robdar

  I'd get another therapist.
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  One of the greatest blessings that came from breaking free from the 'tower was letting go of guilt. I'd hate to see you making decisions motivated by guilt even after getting out.

  Perhaps you could go as a gift to your wife? Because that's what it would be. You shouldn't feel guilty for not going, any more than she should feel guilty for staying. She's making your life more difficult by remaining a JW -- but does she feel guilty about it? No, nor should she.

  If you go, you may well find yourself DF'd at some point. I was DF'd for "apostasy" because I celebrated Christmas. The more you're in their face, the more of a target you become. If your wife doesn't like having a "weak" husband, how much less would she like a disfellowshipped, apostate one?

  Good luck with whatever you decide. :-)

  Dave
• 

  blueviceroy

  I think maybe your therapist is out of line. A good therapist never ever tells you what to do , never, they let you come to the conclusion of what needs to be done on your own.

  Maybe your therapist is letting too much of how they feel color their thoughts.

  A good therapist teaches us how to cope with life by giving us tools to work with. Sounds like your therapist is offering an opinion rather than a principle, that is dangerous .

  Follow your own heart oompa, your real heart, You all ready know what to do in there.
• 

  watson

  I think you should do it Oompa! Since my clearer understanding of the "org," I find that I pay much more attention now (I go about once or twice a month). You have to have a sense of humor, which you obviously do. The toughest part with regards to the relationship is the ride home...
• 

  oompa

  Watson...are you going just to be with your wife? On the ride home do you try to ask a question or two about something you hope will make her think? Do you ever comment? How are you treated there?...............thanks....................oompa
• 

  5go

  I'd get another therapist

  or at least a second opinion.

  I agree with them on trying to find something still you like about the JW's, but that is not going to stop them using your family as blackmail to keep you in line. I would point out to your therapist that if she recommends you do something they don't want you to do, they will give you an ultimatum to find a new sympathetic to the JW cause therapist, stop therapy all together, or be shunned.
• 

  watson

  I go for the wife and family, though the rest of the family is distant. My wife knows me too well, so I don't "ask questions." I pride myself in my sense of humor, but sometimes it (the meeting content) gets to me, and I have a hard time holding back, on the trip home. It's a delicate situation. The "culture" is engrained in her. I have not hidden my personal feelings from her, but I don't like hurting her feelings/faith.
• 

  ronin1

  My husband and I go once or twice a month.

  It doesn't hurt or bother us because we know the real deal with the org.

  We take what we hear from the platform with a 'grain of salt'.

  The Bible will never change. So sitting in a meeting reading the scriptures will not hurt.

  Ronin1