Here is a narrative of what you will face should you go back to the meetings with your wife for her sake, according to the suggestions this "professional" gave you..
Oompa shows up, nervously to the hall with Mrs. Oompa. Wondering how he will stomach sitting thru two hours of total crapola for her sake. They enter the hall and are greeted with more than a few stares, some friendly, some not so friendly, some downright, "look what the cat dragged in".
Brother High and Mighty approachs Mr. and Mrs. Oompa, "So nice to see you hear Oompa, its been a while (little dig through in to guilt Mr.Oompa into feeling like crap). Mr. Oompa struggling over what to say, just says "Thanks". Mrs. Oompa glows with pride over the fact that Mr. Oompa is finally back at the hall. Sends some very confident smiles to the Elderettes, signalling she has matters now under control.
Mr. Oompa and Mrs. Oompa look for a seat, Mr. Oompa desperately wants to sit in the backrow, but Mrs. Oompa is having none of that, she knows he is here now, trapped like an animal. She finds some former friends of Mr. Oompa and proceeds to sit down beside them, knowing that conversation will ensue before the meeting starts.
Mr. Oompa's palms are already sweating with anxiety, wishing he was at home, but looking at his wife and seeing her happiness, he is reassured he is doing the right thing. Brother Good Weather Friend turns around and begins to talk to Mr. Oompa, "its so nice to see you, hey how about we get together next week and catch up?". At first Mr. Oompa is touched, until he thinks about how Brother Good Weather Friend has bothered to notice he exists until right now, no phone call, zip.
The meeting begins to start, the opening talk is entitled, "Do you Put Jehovah's Kingdom First", Mr. Oompa rolls his eyes unaware that he is doing so, which gains him a stabbing hateful look from Mrs. Oompa. He tries his best to zone out what is being said from the platform while staring straight ahead, Mrs. Oompa's eyes on him every few moments to see if he is really paying attention and hoping it is sinking in, the spiritual food being served that is.
Halfway thru the talk, Mr. Oompa thinks he is going to jump out of his chair and onto the platform screaming, wake up you morons to the entire crowd. He manages to restrain himself, barely and decides a bathroom break is in order. All eyes are on him as he walks towards the bathroom, he walks in and closes the door thinking, sigh, relief. No sooner does he exhale then Brother ImanAss walks in and shakes his hand, "So nice to see you Brother Oompa, I was talking with Brother High and Mighty before the meeting and Brother Hypocrite and we think it would be a good idea if we sat down with you and Sister Oompa, for a sheparding call, we are so very happy to see you here and want to encourage you. When would be a good time for you both?". Mr. Oompa feels like a deer caught in the headlights, he wants to say F U Brother ImanAss but thinking of his wife, mutters something about having to get back to him on when. Brother ImanAss, looks at Mr. Oompa, smiles that condesending smile he always did have and says, "No worries, we will be in touch to set something up, again, good to see you Brother Oompa".
At this point, Mr. Oompa is looking for an exit like a sailor in a sinking sub, knowing he got himself into this jam, he sighs deeply and walks back to his seat. With a glaring look from Mrs. Oompa as if to say, what took you so long? He suffers thru the rest of the entire meeting, wishing he could be watching Nascar, Sailing, something, anything but listening to this.
The meeting is finally over and the sense of relief Mr. Oompa feels is indescribable. Peace at last, he hurrys Mrs. Oompa out of the hall saying he doesn't feel well, as she reluctantly goes along, but before he is in the clear, Brother Hypocrite stops them both and mentions the sheparding call to Mrs. Oompa who thinks its a wonderful idea and invites them around for the next evening. Mr. Oompa feels helpless to say anything and utterly defeated.
The entire way home in the car Mrs. Oompa, totally estatic, talks about spiritual things, renewed in her faith that her husband will come around. Mr. Oompa nearly drives the car into the ditch, on purpose.
Now, I would say that's a pretty accurate description of how things could go and probably would. See my point Dear Oompa? (Hugs)
