I have not read all the above posts just some this is my take on the issue.
On the issue being debated i think being abusive or unkind is counterproductive. To debate robustly is a good thing.
I noted that HS when posting on Merry's thread though disagreeing with her was complementary about the way she defended herself that imo is the way we should behave.
If we do not like what someone says, offer constructive criticism . If people are rude to me which is rarely i move on