Seems that they will take anybody these days!
You must be good at giving talks, they must see something in you.. Of course No Holy Spirit Is involved . I was not anything like your position, but I knew full well that I did not meet the qualifications , but I was still appointed ...and I tell you It was HELL .. I was so glad to get off the teadmill.24 years later They did not want to let me go at the end . I also had confided in the P O that I could not believe all that The Society taught...They did not care about that . the only thing that seemed to shake the C.O. (and I saw him blanch) was when I admitted that I loved listening to what he would call "heavy metal music" !
Believe me, if you are not committed , it is horrible and you end up resenting the time that you have to spend doing thankless tasks . the romantic notion of fighting from within is just a dream. They simply ignore what you say and do what they want , maybe thank you for a fresh viewpoint, but the majority vote carries it , and you have wasted your breath.
Refuse the appointment and fade slowly...