Suggestions for JW Girlfriend?

by Mincan 87 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mincan

  Excuse me carlos but im going to have to call you out on your ignorance on this one.

  We had sex only once... and I've not allowed us to have it again until this is all cleared up. In fact I wrote to her and told her we have to talk about important stuff tomorrow night when I see her. I told what it was about and we both agree it would be better to discuss it in person.

  Also Carlos, since we were both virgins that first and only time we had sex, I would consider us equals in that sense... and it was overdue for both of us.
• 

  Shawn10538

  yOU ARE DEFINITELY PLAYING WITH fire here. Having anything to do with Witnesses in any setting is bound to bring you grief. I was in a very similar situation, a JW girl living a double life as I was out of it for two years when I met her in a college class. I didn't find out untill the end of our first date that she was a Witness. The whole thing ended in tears. She coerced me to "come back," and after I did, very reluctantly, I was disfellowshipped effectively ending our r4elationship because she waas not disfellowshipped and she coulde not associate with her fiance at that point. Fore warned is fore armed. Be careful dude.
• 

  RubaDub

  Those that have read my postings over the past several years know I am not a prude and certainly tend to lean toward the more liberal side of life.

  But totally putting the religion thing aside, I would still consider what happened to you a bit weird. Not that things like this don't happen in life, but it just seems strange that it all happens at once. I mean, I have had a couple of girls (women) that I knew in the past look me up and contacted me to see "how was I doing." Certainly nothing wrong with that. People do those things.

  But if it was under those circumstances that you mentioned, I would question whether that was the type of person that I would want to invest in.

  Then, if we do add the religion issue on top of that (seems like she has the double life thing down pretty well), I would have to ask myself just how trustworthy a person like that would be with me.

  Just my opinion. Maybe I am getting too old (approaching the big 50 soon) to objectively analyze the world today and it's time for someone to take me out back and shoot me.

  Just a thought.

  Rub a Dub
• 

  AntiKrist

  Mincan, I can't read in your text if she did use drugs or not. You said in one of your replies that she "used mind-altering substances" and hence I assume she did smoke some weed too. I feel that she is on her way out. I mean no believer of the Christian God and the JW-system do drugs and have sex like that. She's definitely on her way out, however, watch out for being used as the exit door. I have been used in two different ways in two different relationships and I'm not saying that all women are bad, I think that a lot of men are using women for the very same reasons. But this is my main point also, people use each other for more or less subtle reasons! So take note of momzcrazy: "Sounds like she is using you as a means to rebel. You've known each other a long time, so there is a sense of security for her." You had knew her for a long time but it wasn't until recently she almost pulled you away for a cup of coffee and then later on did drugs and had sex with you? It sure sounds like you've been fished. So my conclusion is that she is definitely on her way out from the religion and that if you do have feelings for one another, the future might very well be bright for you, but watch out my friend. Some scorpions are dressed as puppies.
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  ninja

  mincan....you look like the guy who sings "tainted love".....
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  bluesbreaker59

  Mincan,

  Here is my suggestion, you're a young man, she's a young woman, enjoy having sex, use each other to get really good at it, have a loose, care-free relationship, nothing too serious. Sex is a great thing.
• 

  Balsam

  Minan,

  Son you better be using something to prevent pregnancy, you are asking for serious trouble getting this girl pregnant and possible hellish experience if she takes you kid and goes back into the cult. This girl is going through a transition and is going to be messed up and you will be used as tool to her exiting the JW's. Are you sure your up to dealing with the whole cult thing to help her leave, it is exhausting and a strain on anyone caught up in it. The girl need to get out but she is going about it the wrong way.

  Ruth
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  BFD

  You are playing with fire here, Mincan. I find it funny that you lost your virginity to a double-dub. I'm sure it was great.

  My suggestion would be to run the other way. Find a nice worldly girl and always, always use protection.

  BFD
• 

  Hortensia

  Mincan, you seem like a nice guy although rather irresponsible sometimes. I'd like to say a couple of things. The first is, you want to get laid and so does she, so in my opinion, as long as you act responsibly (condoms, make sure she's sober when you have sex), it ain't nobody's business but your own. What concerns me is the alcohol - she had to get high to initiate sex. So she's lying to herself - she can always say she was drunk and isn't responsible. So the real issue is communication communication communication. When you are both sober, ask her where this is going. If she doesn't know, then make an agreement with her that for the present it's just about fun and no one has any obligations. If either of you wants to change that agreement you agree to discuss it and not put pressure on the other person to agree to a relationship the person doesn't really want. HOWEVER, if you all get pregnant, all bets are off. You are responsible for the kid for the next 20 years. So think about that seriously.
• 

  Carlos_Helms

  "Excuse me carlos but im going to have to call you out on your ignorance on this one.
  
  We had sex only once... and I've not allowed us to have it again until this is all cleared up. In fact I wrote to her and told her we have to talk about important stuff tomorrow night when I see her. I told what it was about and we both agree it would be better to discuss it in person.
  
  Also Carlos, since we were both virgins that first and only time we had sex, I would consider us equals in that sense... and it was overdue for both of us."
  
  
  It's not up to me to excuse you.
  
  You're an adult man, right? She was an impaired, vulnerable woman. I don't give a good GD if you WERE virgins (that can never be said again, right?) or it happened once or 1000 times. YOU just changed her life...and it wasn't in a positive way. Quit making excuses, be a man and take some responsibility.
  
  Carlos