Suggestions for JW Girlfriend?

by Mincan 87 Replies latest jw friends

hillbilly

Cougar? shot at one once. Must not be the same thing.
Kids have been f*cking up since Adam and Eve started shuckin out kids.
Mark Twain even noted that the older he got... the smarter his dad became.
Get over it Kwin.
Hill
Mincan

People here are asked for suggestions, which also invites opinions.
When asking for help, it really sucks to get replies like the following
(no matter how the opinion was stated):
im going to have to call you out on your ignorance on this one
ONTHEWAYOUT: This person by their choice of words was attacking my character, so my response was naturally defensive.
Thus this perspective is flawed.
By saying that in a reply I was simply doing what it appears you would let me have others do. (State their opinions rather than just give helpful suggestions to my situation)
You also seem inconsistent. A quote from page 1:
We had sex only once... and I've not allowed us to have it again until this is all cleared up.
Now a quote from page 2:
She did use alcohol that first night we reunited (I never got drunk that night myself)... but after that we have only smoked cannabis on two occasions together. When we had sex we did not use alcohol. We did use cannabis some on that night though, but also had a lot of sober sex as people here are referring to it.
So, you did not have sex when either of you was drinking because you only had sex once,
but it was sober sex. Also, you were high on cannabis when you had sex that one time.
ONTHEWAYOUT: I'm going to make a chart so that the timeline becomes clear to all participating in this thread.
1st Night: Meet, hang out at my place with her brother and cousin. Girl and cousin moderately intoxicated with alcohol. I and brother not intoxicated with alcohol. Girl cuddles with me on bed.
2nd Night: Alone with girl. Have sex with girl after a few hours of talking and spending time together we decide to smoke weed and have sex. Her first time smoking weed as well as having sex, thus she decided to do both. My first time having sex also.
You will find these statements do not conflict with any prior to it.
You had a lot of sober sex that one time, so you are a superman. (Great to be young, eh)
It's possible, but even giving you the benefit of the doubt, her being high is just as bad as
her being drunk.
Indeed. We would have sex in hour spurts or so, and then sleep for a few hours afterwards. We started this cycle at 9:30pm and finished 12:39pm the following day. Some of these sessions were with cannabis, others were sober and rested.
If it was rohypnol, you would easier see my point.
As I said, she made the choice beforehand to try weed and sex with me at the same time. Thus with my circumstances in mind to update your scenario: It would be like me asking a girl I've known most of my life to take rohypnol and have sex with me and her agreeing, in fact this would be after I get messaged on facebook by her for a few weeks to go out for coffee and she gets drunk with her cousin and calls me over. The next night she again comes over (sober this time) and after a few hours of talking and including the hours the night before about her wishing to try weed and her obvious interest in me she then makes the final decisions to have sex and smoke weed with me. Sound about right now? What's your point now?
I really hadn't planned on disclosing this amount of information on my private life, perhaps I'm to the point where I'm sure enough in myself to not simply shy away from explaining myself but not quite comfortable enough in myself to just forget about the effort required versus the reward gained: Random people I may never meet giving me their seal of approval on my character as if they don't realise people hate about others what they hate about themselves or if more simple simply project what they don't like onto others...[sarcasm] how important! [/sarcasm] unfortunately the end result is the same actually progressing sometimes doesn't look like it to me.
I see your youthful point of view in all of this.
I don't believe you see my point of view at all, or you would not say the things you do.
You were both virginal and felt the need to do the deed, overdue. Regardless of our current morals, we need to look at this from that
point of view- were we ever there? I know I was. You don't think a little weed is really
taking advantage of the other person.
As I've related, it was her choice to initiate, and then before, leading up to, and after. No, I do not believe a person making an informed much enthusiastically wanted decision is being taken advantage of by other people. Lighten-up. In fact I would go so far as to say the truth of the matter is that I most likely was the one who just went along with what was happening without thinking at all because I was so shocked. It took me up until this point for my mind to kick in to think about what is happening. Kind of the opposite of what you are saying, that I have somehow preyed on this girl, which implies motive and forethought.
She's technically an adult, so it's up to her what she should do. But be the better person. Don't confirm her thoughts that "worldly" is terrible and
takes advantage of "naive."
The former contradicts your other statements, the latter no longer applies due to previous reply.
Try to be kinder in your responses instead of being such a shithead. Instead of telling us about
our ignorance or flawed logic, just say "I don't think that applies because..." or some other
nicer words that would make us want to continue offering our suggestions.
Perhaps I should apologise for my stoic responses, but they are the result of an overdue process called growing a thick skin and not allowing other people's preconceived or misinformed judgements to bother me. A person's judgement of you can only either be right or wrong. If it's wrong, there is no reason for me to waste my time with someone who so blatantly desires to continue believing his or her erroneous statement. I only live once and have to enjoy it, not spend it trying to suck up to assholes such as yourself.
I dont know Mincan... but he posts like most of the under 25 group I deal with daily.
Lot's of rationalisation for bad behavior and I never screw up....of course, how could it be bad..everyone else it telling me its ok...and morals and self-control are so yesterday...........
Kids... let em dig their own hole.
Hill
HILLBILLY: It may not be my age that you don't like, or those of others of the under 25 group you see daily; It may be you just don't like how they have more self-confidence than you and don't need to overcompensate. I obviously have great self-control to converse with the likes of you. You have no knowledge of the many times before this girl came along that I have turned down offers of sex with other girls because of what you would erroneously call "morals and self-control" but is actually just being true to oneself, what some call a conscious and which has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Everybody rationalises by definition, even you in coming to your decision about whether or not you would agree with my statements or if you would post something to try to make me feel a bit more like you do about yourself.
hillbilly

It may be you just don't like how they have more self-confidence than you and don't need to overcompensate. I obviously have great self-control to converse with the likes of you.
You just made my point Junior..go to bed.
Hill
Mincan

Cougar? shot at one once. Must not be the same thing.
Kids have been f*cking up since Adam and Eve started shuckin out kids.
Mark Twain even noted that the older he got... the smarter his dad became.
Get over it Kwin.
Hill
I would like to know what your premise is on kids fucking up. Is fucking up when two young people want to have fun and both decide to have said fun with each other? Or is it when someone lived by the rules of someone else for many years and is now bitter about it and wants to make others feel like him? Get over it man, move on.
It may be you just don't like how they have more self-confidence than you and don't need to overcompensate. I obviously have great self-control to converse with the likes of you.
You just made my point Junior..go to bed.
Hill
You've just presented circular logic in an attempt to save face: I could say that you have just proven my point to which we are at a vicious cycle that goes nowhere. Let's agree to disagree if you no longer want to open your mind.
OnTheWayOut

Indeed, to be a young superman:
Indeed. We would have sex in hour spurts or so, and then sleep for a few hours afterwards. We started this cycle at 9:30pm and finished 12:39pm the following day. Some of these sessions were with cannabis, others were sober and rested.
Sex for a guy, the first time would last less than a minute once penetration is acheived.
I know he's going to argue with me, so I give in. He's a superman.
The next SEVERAL sessions could be longer, so I won't even debate that. A young
virgin could do it several times when he finally gets some.
And we all know that cannabis only lasts a tiny while so, of course they had sessions
within that same time period that were sober and rested. BULLSHIT. You and her were
high. More high or less high as it wore off some- whatever. You were high. It was her
first time smoking weed, so don't tell me that you were not high anymore so she must
not have been either.
If it was rohypnol, you would easier see my point.
Willing or not, you knew that she was vulnerable even when sober. Smoking weed just
made it easier to do more. You didn't have to face what just happened because you
got high together instead. I am not condemning you for what you did, but don't justify
it like she knew what she was getting in to. She was confused and vulnerable and didn't
want to face what just happened anymore than you did.
You don't think a little weed is really taking advantage of the other person.
She's technically an adult, so it's up to her what she should do. But be the better person. Don't confirm her thoughts that "worldly" is terrible and takes advantage of "naive."
The former contradicts your other statements, the latter no longer applies due to previous reply.
I suppose I could explain that better.
"You don't think a little weed is really taking advantage of the other person.
You think she is an adult, so you think it isn't up to you what she decides to do.
You think that you are only responsible for your own actions, and contributing to
her actions is not any kind of violation of YOUR morals."
Here, I inserted my moral values (and those of most of society) that contributing to
someone's delinquency or taking advantage of innocence is WRONG.
I was not contradicting myself. I was trying to see things from your point of view in
one sentence, then saying it from my point of view in the next. Thanks for pointing
out my flaw in explaining things. I will type slowly for you from now on.
(In case you didn't catch it, the "type slowly" comment is to enflame you so that you
will get the point that insulting others' thoughts does no good. You won't pay any
attention to anything else I say, but focus on how rude I am or how insensitive I am.)
Perhaps I should apologise for my stoic responses, but they are the result of an overdue process called growing a thick skin and not allowing other people's preconceived or misinformed judgements to bother me.
Apology is accepted (by me, anyway). I am not trying to be an enemy here. I just
want to help you through some young naivete. If our "judgments" didn't bother you,
you should not take so much offense. Your apology shows that you are willing to
try. I apologize for coming off as anything judgmental. I mean no harm.
I obviously have great self-control to converse with the likes of you. Everybody rationalises by definition,
Comments like that are the greatest rationalizations of all. "Everyone does it."
I really do try to see things from your point of view. That's called youthful ignorance.
(Yeah, there is an enflaming comment again) You are trying so hard to justify
every action of yours and prove to us that you are not naive, that you will sling it
at us as hard as you can. Sure, some of us slung it at you, but we were trying to
get past that youthful ignorance.
Kids... let em dig their own hole.
Maybe Hillbilly was right to say the quote above.
In fact I would go so far as to say the truth of the matter is that I most likely was the one who just went along with what was happening without thinking at all because I was so shocked. It took me up until this point for my mind to kick in to think about what is happening. Kind of the opposite of what you are saying, that I have somehow preyed on this girl, which implies motive and forethought.
I saved this for last, figuring you would be thoroughly mad by the time you read my comments.
So you just went along. This [harlot] seduced you, took advantage of your innocence, then
planted weed in your pocket? It took you so long to think about what was happening because
your penis was doing the thinking. (See, I do understand your point-of-view.)
Preying doesn't always involve motive and forethought. It just takes opportunity. I don't think
that your actions were so terrible. You were 2 virgins who wanted to end that- normal and
happens all the time. You smoked pot- normal for many and happens all the time. You had
more sex- normal and happens all the time (not normally in sessions of an hour or more but
you may be including cuddling). My only objection is to your reaction to it:
No, I do not believe a person making an informed much enthusiastically wanted decision is being taken advantage of by other people.
Regardless of legal age, she was stunted in growth by the JW's and you know it.
She was an inexperienced teenager regardless of her real age. It's legal, it's no
big deal for her to give her virginity and smoke some weed to you, but I guarantee
it's turmoil for her. Now she will either cling to you like she expects a loving relationship
or she will not want to be involved with you at all or she will need some kind friendship
to work this out. I just hope that you are there for her to work this out.
Mincan

Regardless of legal age, she was stunted in growth by the JW's and you know it.
She was an inexperienced teenager regardless of her real age. It's legal, it's no
big deal for her to give her virginity and smoke some weed to you, but I guarantee
it's turmoil for her. Now she will either cling to you like she expects a loving relationship
or she will not want to be involved with you at all or she will need some kind friendship
to work this out. I just hope that you are there for her to work this out.
So it was for me. You simply don't know me. Not many of you do, but the ones that have met me in person you notice are defending me, whereas the ones that keeping saying "I don't know mincan" are the ones that are worried.... about this girl. You fail to realise the ones that know me realise the purpose of this thread is because I am worried about this girl just as much as you guys are and thats why I made this thread...to be there for her if she decides to leave the cult, and if we arent together when that happens. I'm not going to abandon this girl and want to be her friend forever, just as it has been.
I saved this for last, figuring you would be thoroughly mad by the time you read my comments.
So you just went along. This [harlot] seduced you, took advantage of your innocence, then
planted weed in your pocket? It took you so long to think about what was happening because
your penis was doing the thinking. (See, I do understand your point-of-view.)
Preying doesn't always involve motive and forethought. It just takes opportunity. I don't think
that your actions were so terrible. You were 2 virgins who wanted to end that- normal and
happens all the time. You smoked pot- normal for many and happens all the time. You had
more sex- normal and happens all the time (not normally in sessions of an hour or more but
you may be including cuddling). My only objection is to your reaction to it:
sometimes a [sarcasm] [/sarcasm] notice is useful. This is actually very funny and I laughed when I read it. It's very true, but you don't know me and most guys would just disappear or not talk about how they feel with the girl, whereas I'm not only willing but want to. I care about her. Even if I don't have a romantic relationship with her.
hillbilly

So it was for me. You simply don't know me. Not many of you do, but the ones that have met me in person you notice are defending me, whereas the ones that keeping saying "I don't know mincan" are the ones that are worried.... about this girl. You fail to realise the ones that know me realise the purpose of this thread is because I am worried about this girl just as much as you guys are and thats why I made this thread...to be there for her if she decides to leave the cult, and if we arent together when that happens.
I dont know you..except for what you post here.
Your young
You drink, do some legal drugs for your conditions and smoke pot
You parrot phyco babble like a Junior college Sigmund Frued
And you cant keep your pecker in your pants around a stoned virgin girl..with problems of her own.
Did I get it all?
Hill
Mincan

I dont know you..except for what you post here.
Your young
You drink, do some legal drugs for your conditions and smoke pot
You parrot phyco babble like a Junior college Sigmund Frued
And you cant keep your pecker in your pants around a stoned virgin girl..with problems of her own.
Did I get it all?
Hill
Attach any moral judgements to these do we? Are you making moral judegments about simple genetics, evolution, biology, chemistry, and essentially physics?
hillbilly

oh yea...you talk way too much
Not a moral judgement in the bunch...
I will go out on a limb here... first, gentlemen dont kiss and tell... hypocritcal? maybe. but you just made that chick look like a slut or a fool here. that business is between you and her... toss it out in public and you will get what you get.
You are 21...get over it. You will be stupid until you learn enough to be a man. sorry kid... ya aint there yet. I do know some kids way younger than you who are men...
Why aint your ass in school or doing someting more productve than sitting around blowin weed? JW parents hate me yadda yadda yadda... get over it an move on.
Kwin... at my age a "cougar' would be 85... I dont mind the wrinkles but many old dames smell funny
Out
Hill
Mincan

oh yea...you talk way too much
Out
Hill
Actually the problem is I think too much, which is a symptom of a mind constantly in search of stimulation (because of a faulty dopamine system in the middle and forebrain), also known as ADHD. Oh sorry I forgot you don't believe in psychobabble or the scientific method it follows.
The dextroamphetamine (a stimulant) I take slows my brain down to about your speed (which is about 5 times slower than normal for me) so that I have enough time to let you fellow humans know whats going on in there.

Suggestions for JW Girlfriend?

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