My theory about the behavior and obsession of some ex-JWs (page 13)

MAHERSHALALHASHBAZ

Watching Gerard trying to best Hillary's incontestable logic is like watching a thumbless monkey trying to hitchhike. Simon's non-generalizing post was spot on.

trevor

Willyloman

This is what has become so frustrating about this forum. There was a day when the posts and replies followed a theme, when replies came after reading previous posts and added something to the topic. Today, too often, you read these threads and realize that many of the people who have joined the conversation are not listening at all but simply holding their breath, waiting to talk.

You have summed up very well how many feel. Some of our best and most thoughtful posters have expressed similar feelings and quietly left.

There is still some truth to found among the seaweed but it is becoming rarer.

Some time ago I started a thread asking what personally motivates us to post? Each poster follows a set pattern which is very revealing.

UnConfused

I am truly surprised to see you commenting on a thread concerning behavior and obsession....just saying....after what you put people through.

It is unclear from your post who you are talking to but as it directly under mine I am assuming it is me. Perhaps you are mixing me up with another 'Trevor' who I understand caused a lot of trouble for people.

I have received a fair amount of abuse and been ignored on this forum by quite a few people but it is a case of mistaken identity. I have been posting since 2001. A quick look at my post history might reassure you.

UnConfused

Sorry! I'll bet you have been beat up over that. I didn't realize there were more than one - my apologies.

Gregor

and you should apologize to Linda while you're at it.

mouthy

Gregor go to your room

choosing life

I have had this discussion with my dub husband way too many times. I do not believe shunning is humane. You say that those who joined agreed to the rules. I joined as a very young adult and still didn't really understand all the rules. What about those born in the confusion and getting dfd just to get out?

Nor did I have a clue that many years later I would disagree with most everything they told me to believe.

I have kids that are dubs and kids out. The ones out tell me it damaged their minds in some ways. The ones that are still dubs think they will live in paradise on earth forever and will never die. Are their minds damaged?

If someone is poison and causes hurt thru pediphelia or rape, these are crimes and should be reported and the proper authorities can investigate. Then people can choose to distance themselves. No announcement is necessary. The news about people gets around.

The other moral choices we make give people a right to choose to associate with us or not. That is an individual right. Never will it be the right of an organization who claims to speak for God.

sass_my_frass

That's possible. I was kicked out for legitimate reasons. It's only around my JW parents that I have any feelings of guilt about it though, because I now don't think I did anything wrong; sleeping with my husband before we got married, but obviously the JWs disagree. I think because I immediately joined this site I very quickly worked out that I really didn't. I know it was me who got me kicked out though.

Possibly, if I didn't have a place like this, and hadn't literally gorged on what was basically spiritual anarchy for me, it would have haunted me for the rest of my life. There's no way I could have worked through the grief of the loss of my family and friends without peers. It could have become an obsession; the need to justify myself, and bring them down.

Simon

I think we need to differentiate between some of the rules that are fair and some that aren't and also how they are applied.

So, someone sleeping with their partner before the wedding? Big deal ... anyone being DF'd and shunned for that is wronged IMO.

Someone seducing (vulnerable / emotionally naive) young girls in the congregation, thought not a crime, is maybe not as 'wronged' if they are DF'd. Equally so the example of an elder abusing his position and knowledge of a couple's problems to commit adultery with the wife. There are some behaviours that are generally regarded as poor within general society.

This doesn't mean that the shunning part of the religion is right or proper in any case but the expulsion may be although this will depend entirely on your own moral compass and what is right and wrong.

My theory about the behavior and obsession of some ex-JWs

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