Actually, I remember when I was 3 or 4 and mom and dad used to lock us kids out of their bedroom. I always wondered what they were doing and so, one time I hid in the corner behind some stuff. They locked the door, but before anything happned I came out. I didn't understand why dad was so pissed off. Funny now that I think about it.
Santa & Kids - To Lie or Not To Lie?
by sweet pea 139 Replies latest jw friends
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sweetstuff
Why are you equating being honest with being forthcoming? Being honest means not lying or misrepresenting things. Are you really incapable of satisfying a child's curiosity without lying and misrepresentation? Is that what you're saying?
I think it is related to honesty, yes. People lie all the time by omission. Surely you of all people realize that. And as for my capability as a parent to satisfy my children's curosity, I've done just fine, with honesty that's age appropriate. Yup, I've bended the truth at times to protect my children from information I do not feel they need to know. One example of which is when my ex husband broke into our house a few years back and was physically violent towards me until the police were called in. My kids were asking me if daddy was trying to kill me, I suppose I should have been honest in that situation according to the friggin peanut gallery and told them, Yes, or said, I'll tell you when you're older. Give me a friggin break, I told them of course not, daddy wasn't well and didn't know what he was doing. It helped ease their minds and gave them some sense of security in that situation. Yeah, I'm totally OK with lieing in that situation. Or "misrepresenting the facts".
But then, wtf do I know right? I'm only a mother.
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mrsjones5
So you'd leave the door open and invite them in? There's a such thing as baby monitors and hearing. Works wonders.
I had a really good retort then the board went freaky on me. John John oh thank the gods for your wisdom on marital sex when parenting kids. I don't know how I got throught 14 years of being a mother of four kids without you...not! lol Oh John you kill me. lol
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John Doe
Sweetstuff, I think it's obvious you have your children's best interst in mind. That's great. However, I can't agree with your method, but I can respect why you would be less than forthcoming in the situation you describe.
I've some experience with children, while I recognize I'm not a parent. I have a large family and 9 nieces and nephews, 3 of which were mainly raised in my household. My experience with them is that they are capable of understanding a lot more than we give them credit for. Usually, it's the parent who has the problem with the information, not the child. I've been with my nieces and nephews as they experienced the painful death of their grandparent first hand, and they did fine and I'm pretty sure they're stronger because of it. They had an abusive, drug addictive father, and while they had problems, they understand most of what happened. Life is complicated for any of us to understand, and the most we can do for kids is help them understand it to the best of our ability.
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John Doe
I had a really good retort then the board went freaky on me. John John oh thank the gods for your wisdom on marital sex when parenting kids. I don't know how I got throught 14 years of being a mother of four kids without you...not! lol Oh John you kill me. lol
Ad hominem.
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mrsjones5
That wasn't an attack, it was sarcasm because you're not telling me anything that I don't already know about how to avoid a walkin by my kids.
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John Doe
That wasn't an attack, it was sarcasm because you're not telling me anything that I don't already know about how to avoid a walkin by my kids.
Knowing your claimed penchant of proclivities for certain nocturnal satisfactions, I figured as much.
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mrsjones5
Knowing your claimed penchant of proclivities for certain nocturnal satisfactions, I figured as much.
Nothing wrong with a little loving in the midnight hour when the kiddies are fast asleep. Oh and thanks for the "claimed" dig, I have no desire to try and prove anything to you.
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sweetstuff
Sweetstuff, I think it's obvious you have your children's best interst in mind. That's great. However, I can't agree with your method, but I can respect why you would be less than forthcoming in the situation you describe.
I've some experience with children, while I recognize I'm not a parent. I have a large family and 9 nieces and nephews, 3 of which were mainly raised in my household. My experience with them is that they are capable of understanding a lot more than we give them credit for. Usually, it's the parent who has the problem with the information, not the child. I've been with my nieces and nephews as they experienced the painful death of their grandparent first hand, and they did fine and I'm pretty sure they're stronger because of it. They had an abusive, drug addictive father, and while they had problems, they understand most of what happened. Life is complicated for any of us to understand, and the most we can do for kids is help them understand it to the best of our ability.
My kids are very brilliant JD and I'm not saying that because I am their mom, it's just a plain fact. And at times, I realize they understand way too much for their young ages and have seen too much that they understand all too well. Kids pick up on things we don't even clue into that they have grasped, I agree with you on, completely. But my original point was this, kids don't live in a bubble. They are social creatures, same as adults and kids are often more cruel than adults. Well, sometimes anyway, lol.
From an idealistic point, I see what you and IP are trying to say, however, it is that child who will suffer the social stigma of absolute honesty, not that parent. Ok, so you tell your kid there is no tooth fairy, no santa, no anything, great for you, is it so positive for the child? From a sociology standpoint, I don't think so at all. Whatever is the mass teaching of the time is going to have a direct impact on that child. Either they will participate with it, or be removed from it. I know how it feels to be on one end of that spectrum, and it isn't fun.
Besides, without childhood fairytales or "lies", magic and magical creatures, many of the great books of our time wouldn't exist. Is it possible that Tolkien, Barry, C.S. Lewis and many more like them were probably kids who visualized Santa's village or what the tooth fairy looked like, in their minds at an early age? Do you think possibly that early fascination could have then spurred on an imagination, that in turn, lite up so many more?
There is nothing more amazing to see than a child's imagination at work, soon enough they have to face the reality of life as it is, sometimes sooner than they should. What you call a lie I call another fairytale which dreams and imagination are built upon.
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John Doe
Oh and thanks for the "claimed" dig, I
No dig. Haven't you said more than once that you're quite horny? Or perhaps it's my imagination.