How long does reinstatement take?!? Question for a elder or someone thats been in this situation
by N-kiki 64 Replies latest jw friends
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sir82
the elders have gone through training to judge yes judge a person by there actions and reactions to a question they might ask in the meeting.
Bwa-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
That's the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site.
"Elders have gone through training" - good one!
Elders receive 0 training in anything - it's all off the cuff. There is an elder's manual that provides general guidelines but is quite impractical (not that that prevents certain anal-retentive types from memorizing whole chapters of it). The "training" received at all those meetings with the CO, and those "special" 2-day elder schools? Somebody on a platform reading out loud from the book, 0 opportunity for discussion, 0 opportunity to ask questions.
Sir82 - 15 years experience as an elder.
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dismayed
6 months is the unwritten rule. Much depends on the committee. They usually have the same brothers meet with you that DF'd you, unless you have moved to a new hall.
If they gave you counsel when you were DF'd, be prepared to tell them how you have applied that counsel. Bring them a list of scriptures that you have been meditating on regarding your situation, and how those scriptures have affected you.
Most of all, act humble, act like you believe every word they are saying, and act like your life is at stake. If you are a good actor, you will be back in the club.
BTW, no man/judicial committee can give or say you a have an approved relationship with Jehovah/God.
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rolling rock
^^^^ What he said^^^^
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rolling rock
"Elders receive 0 training in anything - it's all off the cuff. There is an elder's manual that provides general guidelines but is quite impractical (not that that prevents certain anal-retentive types from memorizing whole chapters of it). The "training" received at all those meetings with the CO, and those "special" 2-day elder schools? Somebody on a platform reading out loud from the book, 0 opportunity for discussion, 0 opportunity to ask questions.
Sir82 - 15 years experience as an elder."
Ok I was trying to point this out.
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Mickey mouse
Please understand that disfellowshipping is nothing more than a control tool of a cult. It has 0 influence on your good standing or otherwise with "Jehovah".
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jws
In the congregation where I spent several years, people were generally disfellowshipped a year or two or even more. I dated a girl from a small town in the next state over whose congregation generally reinstated in about 6 months. So much for that "Unity" doctrine, eh?
Like others have said, an elder may have a grudge. One guy was messing around with an elder's daughter. He attended as regularly as the rest of the congregation. His car broke down once and he walked a couple of miles while it was snowing to get to the hall and they knew it because one of the elders drove him back to his car and helped him start it. They counted it against him for being late.
I've never been disfellowshipped, but I have been the subject of a judicial committee. If you have a watchtower CD, look up all of the reasons they would disfellowship you. They'll probably have topics on reinstatement too. These are clues as to what the elders are supposed to be looking for. It's attitude. You have to appear sorry. You have to appear humble. You have to appear to be agreeable to anything they say. And you have to have given up whatever it was that you were doing (or at least make them think so). Dressing and looking the part of a JW from the magazine pictures wouldn't hurt either. If you dress a bit sexy or wear sexy makeup, you need to tone it down for them. Make all of the meetings, etc.
I don't think these guys are taking any sort of body language courses designed to determine whether you are lying (unless they're into poker and want to know how to tell when people are bluffing).
Rehearse it in your mind. Invent an imaginary world if it helps you emulate the emotions. Think of a situation you would truly be sorry about and hate yourself for doing. Practice apologizing for that and and if you have to apologize or act sorry, think of this imaginary situation. It's kind of like an actor recalling the saddest moment in their life to evoke tears or sadness for a scene.
I don't know what kind of an actor I am, but I ended up on private reproof for a situation I could have easily been disfellowshipped for. And the elders didn't really like me to begin with and it was their golden opportunity.
It was over some non-intercourse fooling around with my girlfriend at the time. What am I going to say? Oh, it was horrible, I hated doing that stuff, and I really regret it? Hell, it was fun. We absolutely enjoyed ourselves. Marital status aside, how can I regret enjoying something we were designed to enjoy? But I pretended to be really sorry and disgusted with myself anyway.
Good luck. I'm sorry to hear you are looking to rejoin them. If you realize that it's just a bunch of men, not some "chosen organization", you may be very miserable living that life and knowing better. On the other hand, there are some who have gotten re-instated and then faded away after a few years. Fading is great because you're technically in good standing. Your family should still talk to you as long as you do a little bit of role playing and pretend to still have the mind of a Witness. For instance, don't set up a Christmas tree and invite them to your kid's birthday parties, etc. Let them see you behaving exactly as a Witness would, just not going to meetings.