N-kiki, you've come to ask a question like this on the biggest anti-jws/ apostate web site there is on the net,
you truly are a nut case of sorts.
You haven't realized as of yet your involved with a big business corporate religious cult that endeavors to manipulate
and exploit people to make them powerful and wealthy.
Based on that I truly feel sorry for you, your willingness to reinsert yourself to this dangerous and damaging organization
is a sad and disgusting thing to observe, perhaps one day you'll wake up to reality that serving corrupt men is not a good
thing for anyone including yourself.