I was single at the time my kids flew the coop, and pretty much from that time on, I've felt happier being alone (and free to date) than being in a monogamous relationship. At a family get-together last night my sister joked, "I decided about you a long time ago, Fred, that you just have to have you a new girlfriend every couple of years." I waited the length of a pregnant pause, and then answered, "Yep" with a smile. But actually it's even more than that. I don't even want somebody living in the house with me right now. I'd rather have three or four good friends who enjoy having sex with me as one aspect of our friendship, without jealousy over other good friends with whom I have sex. (We practice safe sex, by the way.)
Women who think the same way are not easy to locate. I want friendship plus sex, not just sex. Sex is not the sole purpose of being with the kind of people I'm talking about, so I have no interest in using any adult singles pimp services. I've met a few who are okay with this arrangement, but even so, their main focus seems to be the potential for a monogamous live-in relationship in the long run. One woman does like to talk about her other boyfriends, and excitedly tells me all about her escapades. I listen with interest and amusement, and to my delight, I found that it doesn't bother me in the least that she's having this kind of fun with someone other than me; in fact, usually it's a sexual turn-on. She brought up the possibility of a threesome a few days back. I've always turned down such offers before, but I think that was mainly a choice made due to having some unpurged remains of the old sex-is-baaaaaad mentality fostered by Christianity. I'm still undecided on whether I'll accept if she invites, but it would be a new experience for me, and I'm all into new experiences these days.
I think that it would be nice, in my old age, to have a friend living with me whom I know well and trust, and who knows me well and trusts me, too. But right now I'm enjoying being alone too much to have any interest in moving someone else in. On the subject of open marriage, my thought is, "Why bother with the marriage part?" I guess if you were already married when the idea of sexual openness came to you, and especially if you have children at home, maintaining the marriage makes sense. I just see it as an unnecessary move, from the viewpoint of a person who is single and whose kids are all grown and moved out.
COMF
