Confessing

by STRUGGLE 116 Replies latest jw friends

  • thinker
    thinker

    Dear Struggle,
    First of all may I ask why you must break it off with this gentleman? If there are truly feelings between you, why not allow things to take their course. I for one certainly would not want to throw away a truly worthwhile relationship, they are not easy to find. If this is a love relationship then I would seriously consider where you want to be in the future. Will you be able to replace this with something better? Can you see yourself with this man long term? Once you determine those things, then you will better be able to analyze what you truly feel and want. This should be aside from everything else. Listen to your inner voice.
    As for the question. This is a toughy. To be honest, I went through the comittee meeting, thinking I was truly "repentent". I made it for five months, and then went right back into the situation that got me in the back room in the first place. Maybe I wouldn't have had to go through all the guilt and heartache, if I had just allowed them to disfellowship me the first time around.
    Finally, Struggle, figure out what it is that YOU really want. Don't allow fear of reprocussions make you do something you don't really want to do in your heart. Even if you are df'ed, life will go on. Really. (I am not df'ed, different standing)
    Thinkers Wife

    Edited by - thinker on 28 December 2000 7:2:58

  • thinker
    thinker

    Struggle,
    I've been looking for an opportunity to explain my own personal beliefs about God. This seems as good a time as any. My wife (above) is the one with the witness experience.
    I was raised a Catholic, parents divorced when I was 8 (big no-no for Catholics). For a long time I didn't really think much about God. As I got older and life got really hard I started praying, mostly because I was in a tough spot and didn't know where else to turn. I didn't agree with any organized religion's beliefs and felt God would hear me even though I wasn't what you would call "religious".
    Well, it worked. I didn't ask Him for any particular outcome (assuming He knows more than me), I just asked for help. Nothing happened overnight, but I did feel that a burden was lifted and I was much more at ease about my troubles. I feel God entered my heart and helped guide my life. I made a note to myself to thank Him when good things happened. (I didn't want to be one of those who only came calling when I wanted something.)
    I can't say I really understand the need for organized religion, since I've experienced God on a personal level. Is it so hard to believe that God would enter our life and help guide us, just by asking?
    I believe God wants a personal relationship with EACH one of us individually and that relationship may be different for each of us. Just like a parent loves all his kids, but may have very different relationships with each one.
    Personally, I get amused by all the discussion about scripture and translations. I feel the best source is to talk to the Author. If you look in the Bible, you'll see at the beginning of many chapters these words: "the gospel ACCORDING TO ..." Why not ask the main source (God)? For all we know God might have wanted to revise a few things in the last 2000 years.
    So, my advise is talk to God, one-on-one. I believe He's listening to you just as much as He is to the Pope, the GB or anyone else. I know it's worked for me.

    Thinker
    (Hope this doesn't confuse you. My wife and I post under the same handle.)

  • thinker
    thinker

    Struggle,
    While my husband was writing his feelings and advice a thought came to me.
    My advice would be to do what he suggested before reading this passage in the Bible. And when you do read it really read it and think about what it means. Read the feelings and the flavor. Savor it and allow your mind to absorb it.
    1Timothy 2:1-7
    Would love to know your musings if you would like to share.
    Thinkers Wife

  • STRUGGLE
    STRUGGLE

    I understand where brothers helper is coming from. Speaking for myself, I would'nt have to worry about being dis'f, i would'nt have to worry about revealing private things, if I had kept Jehovah's God law. His law is the law.

    Just for the record I am not here to serve or please man, only Jehovah.

    Sad to say some elders talk, remember they are not perfect, just like I am not. Trust me when I tell you I am very well aware of Jehovah guidelines conerning fornication. It is wrong.

  • STRUGGLE
    STRUGGLE

    To Thinker's Wife and Thicker

    I really do see myself long term with this man. It's just I don't want to continue at this point and time with the sexual part of it. I still want to do what's right. He does'nt understand or does'nt want to understand why I have to go to the elders. That is our business. He is that a gentleman. I for the most part started us on our path...even though it was mutal. He sees the pain in my eyes, even though he does'nt understand, he does'nt want me to get in any trouble. Then there's that part about becoming unevenly yoke.

    I'll talk to you later, I have to go to work.

    Again thank you so much!

  • mommy
    mommy

    HEY I AM NEW HERE WONT GET INTO ALL THE GORY DETAILS NOW BUT HAVE BEEN BEFORE COMMITTEE SEVERAL TIMES NEVER ANY ACTION TAKEN. I HONESTLY FEEL LONG BLONDE HAIR BATTING BEAUTIFUL EYES AND CRYING, AND HOW LOW YOUR BLOUSE IS, AND THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH THE "BROTHERS" HAS A LOT TO DO WITH THE OUTCOME. I FEEL AND HAVE ALWAYS FELT IF THERE IS A PROBLEM IN CONGREGATION THE ELDERS SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED. THE "EVILDOER" SHOULD BE PUT BEFORE A GROUP THEY ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS. CUTS BACK ON ANY PREFERENCE DECISIONS. TRUTH BE KNOWN I FEEL THAT MATTERS SHOULD BE SETTLED BETWEEN THE EVILDOER AND GOD AND IT IS UP TO THEM TO DECIDE IF THEY WANT TO CONFESS.

  • Simon
    Simon

    hey thinker / thinker's wife...
    It is a bit confusing sometimes - would you like me to setup an extra account so we can tell you apart?
    - Simon (easily confused)

  • thinker
    thinker

    Hey Simon,
    Would you mind if we kept our designations but signed the full name? You know, Thinker and Thinkers Wife. If it is really a problem we can sign up seperately but we have gotten kind of attached.
    One suggestions for the forum set up. Would it be possible to provide a search using a designated name? Or would that be too complicated? Just a thought.
    In retrospect, it would be nice to have our names designated as Thinker and Thinkers Wife at the left top corner. So give us the dirt. How to do?
    Thinkers Wife
    P.S. We would also like to know how everyone does that fancy little trick of putting quotes from other posts in lines seperating them from the body of the posts. Help us silly little new people please.
    Thinkers Wife

  • waiting
    waiting

    Hey thinker & thinker's wife.

    Would you mind starting each of your posts with :

    this is thinker

    this is thinker's wife

    Life would be so much easier for Red.

    P.S. We would also like to know how everyone does that fancy little trick of putting quotes from other posts in lines seperating them from the body of the posts. Help us silly little new people please

    Took me forever - then I had to yell & stomp my foot before Seven explained that one to me!

    1. go to "post reply"
    2. look under the posting box.
    3. go to "Use Forum Code in your message."
    4. Read directions.
    5. It works easily.
    6. If posting a url address, always type a word before it on the same line - then it will magically become a "clicker."

    waiting

  • Frenchy
    Frenchy

    Sruggle:
    It is a struggle, isn’t it? The advice to follow will depend greatly on your perception of the ‘truth’. Please note the quotation marks. If you sincerely feel that you are in Jehovah’s organization then you will have to subject yourself to that organization. You know the rules of that organization. If you commit a serious sin you must bring it before the elders. If it is a sin serious enough for df’ing then a judicial committee is convoked and you must appear before it. You have some specific rights and the elders have rules that they must follow. Some of those are listed in the Judicial Committee thread in one of my posts. If you have specific questions I may be able to help you on this also. That same organization does not like their members being ‘unevenly yoked’ so if you are going to follow your conscience and the direction of this organization then you will have to bid farewell to your lover. If you are sincere, your conscience will not allow you to do anything else.
    If, however, you are not totally convinced that the organization has the right to govern your life to this extent then the rules change. You are now in a position where YOU actually make choices rather than follow rules. That is not to say there are no rules outside the organization but there are far more choices. If you wish to stand before God rather than human leadership then human rules no longer apply. Biblical principles and laws are then the consideration. It’s a lot more work this way, believe me. It is far easier to sit back and let someone else make all the right and wrong decisions for you and then simply to ask them what you must do. It’s your life and your choice.
    mommy
    Take your caps lock off.

    -Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

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