Dear Struggle,
First of all may I ask why you must break it off with this gentleman? If there are truly feelings between you, why not allow things to take their course. I for one certainly would not want to throw away a truly worthwhile relationship, they are not easy to find. If this is a love relationship then I would seriously consider where you want to be in the future. Will you be able to replace this with something better? Can you see yourself with this man long term? Once you determine those things, then you will better be able to analyze what you truly feel and want. This should be aside from everything else. Listen to your inner voice.
As for the question. This is a toughy. To be honest, I went through the comittee meeting, thinking I was truly "repentent". I made it for five months, and then went right back into the situation that got me in the back room in the first place. Maybe I wouldn't have had to go through all the guilt and heartache, if I had just allowed them to disfellowship me the first time around.
Finally, Struggle, figure out what it is that YOU really want. Don't allow fear of reprocussions make you do something you don't really want to do in your heart. Even if you are df'ed, life will go on. Really. (I am not df'ed, different standing)
Thinkers Wife
Edited by - thinker on 28 December 2000 7:2:58