Faders are indeed a very large doormat (page 12)

LongHairGal

This topic in the past has had much heated debate. There are pros and cons to fading and for disassociating oneself. One is neither better nor worse than the other. It all depends on the person's circumstances.

I am almost ten years into my fade. I attend the memorial for the sake of a few friends I have there. When and if we part either because of moving away geographically or if the religion publishes a 'mandate' that these people avoid me, I will bid my friends goodbye and good luck. I would be sad for a little bit but I would deal with it. As far as the religion or its representatives are concerned, I would laugh out loud because at this point in time I absolutely do not care. I would probably respond to them the way the good witch responded to the wicked witch and tell them to begone.....

The religion is not entitled to know what I am thinking.

Highlander

Fading is a compromise. It is anything but taking a stand. Marrying a jw was one of many compromises I made throughout my life and ultimately a mistake that I made.

blondie

Reading people's responses I see that each person seems to have their own definition of what "fading" is. I never felt that it was a compromise for me not the send a DA letter. I felt it was "pearls before swine." I have said that it could be more effective to buy space in the local newspaper and have a DA letter printed and then if you feel it is necessary send it to the BOE. More jws (and non-jws) would be exposed to your ideas.

But if you are "fading" however you define it, be careful and think ahead what the short term and long term outcomes could be and if you are willing and prepared to handle them.

Love, Blondie

Highlander

Thanks OTWO, that's the point I'm trying to make. Hanging around too long put me at risk for making the bad decisions that I have made. It's not that I needed to send in a DA letter, but I should have ceased all jw activities and functions instead of sitting on the fence.

daniel-p

Daniel-P- for someone who is such a polished writer, I would have expected an insult from you that would have avoided violating TOS#1.

Moshe, for someone who is such a valued member of the JWN community, I would expect a much more mature, thoughtful, and considerate argument for coming out against the WTS than this thread.

moshe

Daniel, There is noting wrong with a heated debate. - a topic title that said- I wonder if faders feel like a doormat?, would have been kinder, but the topic would have been bypassed by many. I can remember the exact moment that I knew I was leaving the WT/KH, come hell or high water. Whatever happened in my life after that decision was made to exit the KH was what was meant to happen- to stay in the KH as a faded doormat, out of fear, was to give up my real life and end up living the life that other people wanted me to have. The elders, JW's, old GB geezers,- they were all kicked to the gutter in the blink of an eye by me- and were they upset!

. Some people are born into JW serfdom and some (like me) sold their freedom for a bowl of pottage ( false paradise earth hope). However you decide to leave the KH, I hope you can achieve a peace of mind that feels like freedom to you. Fading feels just fine for some here, not stifling at all and they say they feel like they are thumbing their nose at the WT system. Others are literally getting the crap kicked out of them by the elders/KH.

We need to examine why we do what we do, when considering our options in leaving the WT/KH. Are we solving our problems or not? Highlander is one of the most honest faders I have seen here. If any JW spouse sees the light this year, I hope it is your wife- good luck.

Next month I will be 60- and I have seen so many bad decisions made for us by someone else-I mean, decisions that we should have made for ourself, we let others call the shots for us. That's right, people will avoid making a proactive decision, but instead let others dictate your path, because of a failure to do something on your own. Perhaps, it is because we don't trust our own judgement and take a wishy-washy approach in solving a hard personal problem. Waiting for a tsunami to roll in and force you to act, is not the best way to live.

Everyone who wants to leave the WT/KH, wants truth and freedom, but being a doormat for the Elders/JW's is not freedom, it is the result of fear of man. Good luck, all.

( Burn the Ships- I guess that means you won't help us try to save the life of a JW child, who otherwise is fated to die this year, because his JW parents are too brainwashed by the WT no-blood dogma, to see they are murdering their kid? I never liked cats anyway- they spend too much time licking their A**)

yesidid

Moshe,

Have you ever looked into Body Language. According to wikipedia it "is a form of non-verbal communication, consisting of body pose, gestures, and eye movements". I got several books about it while in business.

Had I ever wanted a picture depicting an a rrogant, haughty, condescending, self righteous, pompous individual. Your avatar would be an excellent example.

I am not saying you are any of those things. I am just saying that the picture you have chosen to represent you, portrays those things.

y

shamus100

Have you ever looked into Body Language. According to wikipedia it "is a form of non-verbal communication, consisting of body pose, gestures, and eye movements". I got several books about it while in business.

Had I ever wanted a picture depicting an arrogant, haughty, condescending, self righteous, pompous individual. Your avatar would be an excellent example.

I am not saying you are any of those things. I am just saying that the picture you have chosen to represent you, portrays those things.

Stunning.

moshe

And a monkey/ape would be a good choice for what kind of person?

zoiks

...and what about a crappy magician?

Faders are indeed a very large doormat

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