Little Imp, can you please explain where you said he was reinstated against his will? Generally, reinstatement requires attending all the meetings for a period of at least 6 months and writing a letter to the elders requesting reinstatement- and then meeting with 3 elders to discuss whether or not it will be granted. I am not doubting your story...just seeking clarification.
Did you Fade Gradually or Stop Attending Meetings Quickly ? Reasons ?
by flipper 90 Replies latest jw friends
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Little Imp
Iaaaccaustin
Just checked with hubby again. He said he did nothing to be reinstated.
On one of his mother's visits to his home she wanted him to take her to the meeting which he did. She got talking to an Elder and told him that her son wanted to be reinstated. The elder involved then told him that he would be reinstated.
He said he never attended any meetings or such like as you describe.
I wonder whether it was because it was such a long time after he was disfellowshipped? Also, the Elder rang the Elders at the congregation where he was disfellowshipped who confirmed that he hadn't really done anything to be disfellowshipped for.
It is a strange story. However, feel free to ask any other questions as I will ask him and get back to you.
He has registered on this site and intends to tell his story one day. He has called himself "Leper" for obvious reasons. He is busy renovating our new home at the moment!
LI
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isaacaustin
Thanks Little Imp....wierd things do happen in JW-land...so nothing is surprising anymore. LOL Sounds like maybe his disfellowshipping got overturned for some reason. Either way, thanks for sharing and contributing.
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OUTLAW
Little Imp..
I had endless problems with JW Family..
They were always causing some sort of grief..
Preaching to my kids..Giving them WBT$ literature..Leaving WBT$ Magazines at my home..
My mom called on me in the FS..LOL!!..What an Ass!..
I told her and the other JW with her..Not to Call on my house again..LOL!!
Some JW Friends dumped me..Others would talk to me so they could give me shit..LOL!!..
I had JW`s I didn`t know..Show up at my store to give me a hard time..LOL!!..
It was Frigg`in Stupid..
There is really no way to leave the JW Cult peacefully,if you have JW Family..
The WBT$ teaches them to be AssH*les..
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...OUTLAW -
undercover
Mine was an unintentional fade, as I was already irregular in service and missing a lot of meetings. I had been pretty strong and a couple of things happened to make me slow down. As I slowed down I knew I was in danger of falling away so as I tried to make a concerted effort to "make the truth my own", so to cultspeak, I started realizing things didn't add up. By the time I had gone through and debunked the "truth" as anything but, I was already inactive. Since I was already off the radar, I just kept on the downlow and things pretty much worked out on their own. I got a few sheparding calls, but partly due to being a private person and having read the warnings here, I kept most of my criticisms to myself. I presented some things for them to demonstrate their knowledge on, of which they failed miserably at and they started leaving me alone after that.
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GrandmaJones
I began having doubts that were difficult to ignore when my mother, in an argument, told me that only apostates don't listen and obey the FDS. I told her apostacy was a rejection of Christ, not the governing body (FDS) or the Watchtower. We ended the argument quickly, as she is really, and I mean really old. I try not to upset her. I went home, looked up what apostacy was, and she is right, I am an apostate, and apparently have always been by the WT definition. No one has ever considered me one at the hall, and my mother was just upset over my disagreeing with her, and didn't really mean the remark. As a matter of fact, most every family member I have is an apostate who doesn't know it.
Regardless, when I read the definition, I began having such doubts that I began researching online. I couldn't accept the fact that I was not ALLOWED to question the doctrine, or have PERSONAL OPINIONS! Beginning of the end for me. I looked up Jehovahs Wittnesses on Wiki one night to refresh my memory on a point as to when Rutherford took over, (I had already read the Studies in the Scriptures and the Rainbow books) and saw the section on scandals and controversy (or something like that) and decided to read Coc. I ordered it and when it came I read it in practically one day. Then I wrapped it in layers of newspapers and threw it away. I was so uncomfortable. It was like it might burst into flames in my hands! I had never dreamed I would read "apostate" literature, and was as afraid of it as a Oujia board.
Shortly afterward, I discovered JWN and began lurking. After a couple of weeks, I joined. My first post was terrifying for me, as it seemed as I was taking a long stride towards complete apostacy and a total rejection of "the truth". I guess I was right.
My update as to my family is on another thread.
I joined JWN and went to maybe two more meetings and just stopped. I have had some family emergencies that called me out of town, but since I cam back, I still haven't gone, and I do not intend to resume. I will just never set foot in the hall again. No one has called, my family hasn't questioned me, the elders have ignored it so far. (I really don't expect this will continue, I think they can't imagine that a person of my age could just "fall out of the truth".) So I will get calls I am sure. I may be upset. I will let you all know.
So, the answer is I stopped quickly?
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nugget
we planned a slow fade gradually dropping below the radar. However the more you know the harder it is to go to meetings and stay sane.
We eventually made a clean break and stopped going and started rebuilding. As our son has Aspergers he would be likely to blurt out the thing that excites him the most so he could potentially tell everyone he had celebrated birthdays, halloween, fireworks etc. I also didn't want him feeling concern or worry that he had said the wrong thing nor did I want to encourage the children to lie.
I have told them that if we get disfellowshiped it is ok this is Mummy and Daddy's concern and it will not be the end of the world. lol.
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LoriJis
My husband left the "truth" in his heart a few years before we met but was living the "double life". When we met, we got married as JWs for our families sake. We wanted to do the fade thing but circumstances made that impossible. My husband was relieved because he can breathe. My last straw was the way the elders handled the situation....the held a committee without even notifying us and we found out they were going to DF us without notification. That did it for me.....it's hard because our families are still there and we have been outcasted...but we dont regret the decision.
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Mandette
I was fairly quick about it(although if I'd had this site it would've been much quicker) in 1995. Getting a job that had me on 2nd shift was a BIG help. And I didn't have the stalkers coming after me. Dad was an elder and PO so they all figured he was doing it!!!! Which he wasn't!!!
It was amazing how the tears and depression started to go away once I was away from the hall. Even though I still battle with the feeling of "not being good enough" it's definitely gotten better over the years. And having wonderful friends that weren't dubs helped immensely too. I was never alone.
M
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FreeAtLast1914
As a born-in, I have tons of family inside the WT. So in my case I chose the gradual fade to alleviate the shockwaves that would soon come. I was a MS when I first realized something was wrong. My next step was to move to another congregation in a bordering city. This allowed me to drop the MS title and responsibilities and focus on my newfound zeal for uncovering the hidden past of my religion. I continued going to meetings, but my field service stopped almost immediately.
When I finally got to the point of realizing the depth of Watchtower BS I had been swallowing and peddling over better than three decades, I had no trouble stopping the meetings as well. My wife, in her attempt to "prove me wrong" wound up studying herself out of the religion too.
We have been happily separated from the WT for two years now and we are both loving life and our new freedom. The loss of family and friends, as painful as it was, happened to be the price we were forced to pay in escaping the grasp to the WT.
Long live freedom!
