Personally I don't give a crap about what people do or don't do in their own bedrooms, as long as it involves only consenting adults that understand and accept any and all possible consequences.
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Open relationships, polyamory and swinging
by techdotcom 104 Replies latest social relationships
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techdotcom
"Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking; where it is absent, discussion is apt to become worse than useless."
- Leo Tolstoy -
techdotcom
Finally-Free
Personally I don't give a crap about what people do or don't do in their own bedrooms, as long as it involves only consenting adults that understand and accept any and all possible consequences.
I totally agree with your non judgmental attidue, however I do find it interesting what people get up to in their bedrooms. Mostly because it is a good thing to understand more of something that all people seem to have rather strong feelings about and is a part of almost everyones life. That is a primary reason for starting this thread to explore that exact topic.
As far as understaning any and all possible consequences, that sadly, is never possible. However a person can choose to learn as much as they can so they are able to make the best choice possible for themselves. The important part in my opinion is that they are consenting and informed, this allows a much better chance of overcoming the difficulties that any relationship faces with time.
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bigmac
i wanted to try wife-swapping once, & replied to an advert.
the other guy was offering his old wheelbarrow in exchange for a date with my wife--
--only problem the wheel was missing. i thought about it for a while, then reluctantly agreed to the swap.
a meeting was arranged; the other guy turned up, took one look at my wife---& decided to keep his wheel-less barrow!
aah well--such is life!
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techdotcom
@bigmac, rofl
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Found Sheep
Can't say it's anything I want but I don't judge others. After leaving the Org I realized there are different people and as long as your not trying to hurt others then who am I to judge.
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techdotcom
@Found Sheep
I totally agree. To me sin is inherently any activity that harms another uncecessarily all others are invented nonsense. I kind of borrowed that from an author but I agree with the thought behind it.
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james_woods
I do not understand the purpose of this thread - is the O.P. advocating this "open" life style, and yet saying that he is unable to find an outside relationship in it?
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techdotcom
@james_woods,
Here is the initial post quoted:
Has anyone else, after leaving the restrictive rules of the JW world, tried having an open marriage, joining the 'lifestyle' of the swinger comunity? We've been doing that for about 4-5 months now and it's been an interesting experience, in fact it's been a major distraction from the hell of rebuilding our lives outside the religion and our base of friends.
I am not "advocating" an open life style. I was sympley mining the forum for any similar experiences and thoughts, especially in the context of previouly belonging to a fundamentilist high control religion (cult). Others turned the discussion into a debate as to the merits of the lifestyle by expressing thier pejudiced views and annectodatal negative stories, rather than personal experience.
I also never stated that I had no outside relationships. They are just not sexual as yet. It would seem my choice in women as friends tends to exclude those who are comfortable with being physically intimate with a married man. I do have prospects for that, but the ones I know live quite a distance away. I have been meeting more people locally and a couple of those seem promising. I don't expect to jump into bed with just any woman I meet and honestly don't feel the need. My frustration has come from not at this time finding available partners whom I would actually care about and want to be intimate with. I have made several very close friends who are women and I enjoy thier company quite a lot. My wife does take care of my sexual needs very well (we are doing very well with that part of our relationship actually), so I'm not in a perpetual state of sexual frustration. I just really like the closness and connection you can have with sex with a good friend and am still new to finding ways to make that work for me and them. Others do things differently, sometimes more casually, and it works fine for them.
The reality is that men are far more accepting of sex outside of a non-commital arrangement then women are. I don't troll bars for easy tail and don't intend on starting that. I have been enjoying my experiences and simply was trying to be 'open' about a down side, not trying to complain or express unhappiness with my choices.
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james_woods
OK.
No offense, but if you WERE trying to advocate this life-style, I doubt that this thread was much in the way of salesmanship.