Open relationships, polyamory and swinging

by techdotcom 104 Replies latest social relationships

  • techdotcom
    techdotcom

    @james_woods,

    Oh definatly not trying to advocate it. This is something very personal as a choice and should not be taken at the behest of someone else. I simply find the subject matter very interesting and was hoping for an honest an objective discussion about it. Most people are not, however, comfortable able discussing sex in general, let alone what they probably consider diviant in some way. I am also interested in exploring the bd/sm culture but not as a personal lifestlye choice per say.

    If you will read carefully, I never say someone else should be doing this. Rather I just won't sit by idley if they make unsupported, critical statements that seem based on misconceptions and prejudice. I have had quite a few different discussions with others that boiled down to the assertion by them that swinging will wreck our marriage. Often due to some story they heard or someone they knew who experimented with it, then broke up with thier marriage partner. However when pressed for details, no one seems to know much about the couples actual relationship and cannot seem to establish a causual relationship with swinging and divorce, even in the small sample they had. In fact if looked at objectively most of the couples that got married as I grew up are divorced and still single or married for the nth time agian. None of whom were swingers. Should I conclude that not swinging leads to divorce?

    So far, when looked at objectivley, swinging seems to have anywhere from a small positive effect to a large positive effect on marriage in general, not the other way around.

    But like I said I was not trying to start a discussion on the merits of swinging as a lifestyle choice but rather simply gather information and share my experience. But I'm always up for a good debate. :)

  • 144001
    144001

    OK, following up on my previous comment, where I characterized open relationships as "gross":

    In 2010, a very attractive married woman that I've known for many years told me in extremely explicit terms what she'd like to do with me during an impromptu telephone conversation. As I am friends with her husband as well, my first question was an effort at sarcasm; "Is [he] invited to this party?" The answer was, yes, he wants to watch and then have a go at it after I finish. Her hubby later confirmed that to me during a telephone conversation.

    I'm not into swinging and let them both know that in very certain terms. But I also like both of these people a lot and really don't care about their sex lives. It's not my business and I let them know that too. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes is of absolutely no interest to me, unless, of course, I'm one of the consenting adults!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Just lurk, there's no reason to troll.

    Omg, I just got called a troll by a freaking newbie! Was that supoose to hurt my little feelings? I think so. And I also so think I hit a sensitive spot. Can I get an "Amen?

    I also think a newbie calling me a troll is freaking funny. Can long time member of a board with a high post count be considered a troll simply because she's not a fan of a swinging lifestyle? I wonder

    Oh and Techie, next time instead of trying to tell me to troll have some balls and just tell me to STFU like a man. That won't get you anywhere either (kinda like how the swinging ladies keep blowing you off) but it might miake you feel better.

  • Broken Promises
  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Lol, Josie is NOT a troll. She brings real KOOL to the board.

    You're kinda sensitive.
    Is that a bad thing for ya? Not manly enough maybe? I havn't expressed an interest in you for even friendship so I am a little confused as to how that's pertinent to the discussion.

    You didn't understand that I meant you are the thin skinned kind of sensitive. Not sensitive as in "sensitive guy." I don't have a problem with you being sensitive. It is just an observation.

    I don't think a lot of swingers or polyamorists are going to try to defend their lifestyles as something healthy and super stable. Most would admit they're risky and certainly not the most stable kind of arrangments. When you defend this so stubbornly, I'm not sure who you are trying harder to convince: you or us. Hey look, if you want to screw around, it's your business. Why do you want to tell us about it though? Don't most of those clubs require that you be discreet? Posting this kind of thing on an international forum isn't exactly prudent.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Ok, let's lighten the mood a little here. When Big Love first came out, I asked my dear husband if he would like to have more than one wife. He laughed and said that he couldn't handle the one he had, let alone two.

    This subject is very relative. It works for some but not for others.

  • EmptyInside
    EmptyInside

    That's funny you mentioned "Big Love" Jamie. A friend of mine's wife asked him the same question you asked your husband. And he told her he couldn't handle double the nagging.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Ok, let's lighten the mood a little here.

    Actually, the hubby and I have been laughing about this topic for the last two days.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Josie, you've made the thread worth coming back to read.

  • techdotcom
    techdotcom

    Hmm..been busy with our first Christmas so havn't had time to get on here and see what responses I'd gotten till now. Wow, what a negative reaction. I'm a bit suprised but I suppose I shouldn't be.

    Ok Mrs. Jones if you insist, STFU. You offer no insight or meaningful thoughts for the thread, and the term troll has little to do with thread count, and much to do with posting inflamatory comments designed to start an argument or 'flame war', but you should be familiar with that term as well. But honestly judging from your comments I'm not suprised you don't understand that. I don't give a shit if you are a fan. You seem to have very poor reading/comprehension skills or you would have picked up on the purpose of the thread in the first place.

    Once agian, I am not advocating the 'lifestyle', nor am I claiming that it is without risks or stresses.

    I suppose you can take the judgmental person out of the JW religion but still have the judgemental attudude and lack of mental flexibility remain. The only thing you seem to want to do here is vent anger and disgust, and having been a JW I can certainly understand that. I simply wanted to discuss something interesting we have tried and get a feeling for how others see that and also to see how common it might be for someone coming out of a repressive religion to experiment with alternatives like swinging.

    I wish all of you the best and sincerly hope that you find what you are needing outside of the religion at some point and are able to leave this excessive amount of negativity behind you. And once agian WOW, I guess I hit a nerve with the reaction I got here.

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