Is Forgiveness Overrated? (page 8)

journey-on

How do you let go of crimes done against you that destroyed part of my inner soul?
You know what I think some of us are doing? We are trying to equate forgiveness with acceptance. And when we are unable to do that inwardly, we feel we have failed to forgive fully as our Lord instructed. I don't think that is what forgiveness means.

I do equate forgiveness with acceptance. My head says that is not right but something in me keeps the two together. Not sure if it is my JW upbringing or just how I view it? Still how to forgive something you will never accept

journey-on

I go back to what I said earlier in this thread. You have forgiven when you no longer desire revenge. When you can say, I have let it go and given it to the higher powers for judgement, you have forgiven. That doesn't mean you should accept it or forget it. Just don't keep it in your "accounts" any longer. Write it off!

journey-on

When you write the offense off like a bad debt in business, you no longer keep account of it (the injury). You no longer allow it to affect your life/business. You clean out the books! In essense it becomes "out of sight, out of mind" which is essentially forgetting it.

Found Sheep

For the people in my life that i no longer see or will see I can do that. Forgive - Forget unless something reminds me and i can put it out. I have a problem with those that want to have a relationship with me Mom and Dad... I wrote them both off as toxic parents and didn't have much to do with them for years. They both want me to forgive them for various reasons but have never in my mind proven they have changed. It's not that i want to hurt them. But, if I say OK the past is the past and tredge forward with a relationship I feel like it is making what they did as NOTHING. I don't want to give details but ya BIG THINGS! So i have been tormented with the word forgiveness all my life. I feel guilt because I don't know how much I want them in my life, or at all. I just got an e-mail from my Dad last week saying "I'm your Dad you can tell me anyting ... all sappy" I don't know. I know no one can tell me the secret of how to act, but I don't understand that word forgiveness.

journey-on

Forgiving things is a lot easier than forgiving people. It's not easy, but you CAN get to a place where you can say "I forgive you for hurting me, or I forgive you for neglecting me, or I forgive you for forcing an oppressive religion down my throat". But, does that extension of forgiveness mean that you have to accept those people back into your life? I don't think so.

Found Sheep

i guess that is what i don't understand about forgiveness... if i say i forgive you i feel like it is a clean slate and i should have no reservations. as if it never happen and i need to start new. the ploblem with that is I can't!

journey-on

I guess I just see things a bit differently. I see where I could reach a point where I no longer want to get back at someone or get revenge. I can just let it go and write it off...forgive the debt. But, by the same token, I can see just as clearly that just because I have forgiven the debt does not mean I have to allow toxic people back into my life...no matter who they are. Common sense.

Found Sheep

ug you are so right! I know I just feel so guilty saying NO! once bitten twice shy

journey-on

I just feel so guilty
Ughhgghh! Guilt. Were you raised a JW? We learned to feel so guilty about EVERYTHING...ALL THE TIME...
Not knowing what the BIG THINGS you referenced in your above post are, I can't say what I would do. I can tell you not to feel guilty if your decision was made with prayerful thought and right intention. Accept your decision then release the guilt. Period.

Is Forgiveness Overrated?

Share this