I would like to share the information below with newer members and lurkers.
We're not insensitive to what you're now going through. Many of us have been in your position. Most of us have the scars to prove it. However, many of us have found happiness and contentment on the other side.
Welcome to the forum, and please feel free to share your stories and get involved here. -- LeavingWT
Impact of Leaving
Upon learning that their group is a destructive cult some people are unable to muster the strength to leave. Others leave but soon return. The impact of leaving a high control group is dramatic, regularly leading to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
caic.org.au/leaving/postcult.htm (2 June 2006) provides the following outline of the process a person generally goes through when leaving a cult.
"The period of exiting from a cult is usually a traumatic experience and, like any great change in a person's life, involves passing through stages of accommodation to the change:
- Disbelief/denial: "This can't be happening. It couldn't have been that bad."
- Anger/hostility: "How could they/I be so wrong?" (hate feelings)
- Self-pity/depression: "Why me? I can't do this."
- Fear/bargaining: "I don't know if I can live without my group. Maybe I can still associate with it on a limited basis, if I do what they want."
- Reassessment: "Maybe I was wrong about the group's being so wonderful."
- Accommodation/acceptance: "I can move beyond this experience and choose new directions for my life" or...
- Reinvolvement: "I think I will rejoin the group."
For those that do leave Michael Langone, Ph.D., of the American Family Foundation (AFF), lists symptoms suffered by up to 80% of former members of high control groups. 11
- Anxiety, fear, and worry
- Feelings of anger toward the group leaders
- Mental confusion
- Vivid flashbacks to the group experience
- Low self-confidence
- Indecisiveness
- Difficulty concentrating
- Loneliness
- Compulsive need to talk about the group
- Despair, hopelessness, and helplessness
- Difficulty thinking critically
- Guilt about things done while in the group
- Troubled by thoughts that can't be gotten rid of
- "Floating" among very different states of mind
- Conflicts with loved ones & family
- A longing to restore certain aspects of group
- Sleeplessness
- Nightmares
- Difficulty finding suitable employment
- Fear of physical harm by the group
- Medical ills
Upon leaving Jehovah's Witnesses may display animosity towards the religion whilst experiencing such an array of emotions, as is understandable. It is sad to see how the Watchtower describes these 'apostates'.
"Yes, they were driven by envy. The same harmful emotion has turned apostates into vicious haters of their former brothers. (1 Timothy 6:3-5) No wonder that envious men are debarred from entry into God's Kingdom! Jehovah God has decreed that all who continue to be "full of envy" are "deserving of death." Watchtower 1995 Sep 15 p.7
Due to the profound issues raised when leaving a high control group it is advisable to have a strong support group during this period of time. Of the countless former Jehovah's Witnesses I have spoken to and received messages from, the majority have suffered some if not most of the above symptoms (myself included), particularly in the first few months of leaving.
Source: www.jwfacts.com