The Impact of Leaving (page 4)

flipper

LEAVING WT- Excellent thread ! Thanks for making it. I too still go through a " loneliness " of sorts at times basically pining for my two adult JW daughters aged 24 & 23 to be back in my life . This has gone on for most of the 8 years I've been out. I keep holding the door open to them hoping they will respond. Finally talked to my older daughter for 20 minutes on the phone the other day. It was the first time in 6 months I had even heard her voice. My youngest daughter hasn't talked to me in almost 3 years now. I just have to keep being authentic and show unconditional love to them so they will respond from a human standpoint- not a defensive JW cult standpoint. Thus I keep the conversations just about family and simple, normal living life daily type subjects. I won't give up. Not until my daughters are free again- will I ever give up. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

andys

Anxiety is my top, troubled by thoughts that can't get ridden of, overall though I am alot more happier, I now see the world in 3D, COLOR, and FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!! "Feeling on top of the world"

I like to also mention that I learned something about psychology, I remember the exact time I woke up, for a few weeks I suffered every single emotion, my supervisor at work sent me to counseling because everyone at work could see something was wrong, I told my counslor what i was going through but she didn't really want to get into religion part of things, this is what dawned on me about psychology:

Lets say I was a psycholisgt, one very important key is you need to learn to walk in the other persons shoes, try to get into their mind on how they feel about things, try your best to understand the other person, the reason I say this the counslor that I got sent to she was only view it as if I physcially left the JW religon and she didn't even understand the mental part, thats where a person needs to walk in the other persons shoes, overall it took me 6 months to recover and I had to do this mostly all on my own.

WTWizard

I don't have the panic problems of doom unless I get back to the group. Sometimes I wonder when the hounder-hounder is going to order a round-up of me and other inactive witlesses, but I don't expect to get destroyed simply because of being apostate.

However, I must add that bad habits learned while in are still there. The biggest of these are bad follow-through on things I know I need to do. While I was a witless, what I "needed to do" was to recruit as many people into the cancer as possible. This meant following up on calls--something I was bad about doing. While I was a witless, that was a good thing (otherwise, I would be to blame for more people being witlesses). However, now that I am out, it is a very bad thing--because lack of following up could stop me from properly learning a business, or moving to a country where I can start it without worrying about its getting raided or having barter and trade with gold and silver illegal when the currency becomes worthless.

To illustrate: When I was a witless, I could "study" a washtowel study article in about 15 minutes. They were so similar to earlier versions that very little study was actually needed. And the answers were always right in the paragraph. Learning about computers (or Christmas decorating) is very different, since one time through the material is not enough. True, it might be enough to replace RAM or upgrade the processor. However, it is not enough to remove a virus and 50,000 junk files that are slowing your computer. And, with Windows 8 coming out, everything you know about Windows 7 is likely to be obsolete. Yet, repairing a computer means having everything from Windows OS93 to Windows 8, and being ready for Windows 9 and higher--which you are not going to be competent with just glancing through the material as you would a washtowel study article.

sizemik

This threads been the best therapy I've had in a while.

My hearts there with so many others . . . but hey . . . "the kids are alright"

00DAD

LWT: Thanks for reposting this. It's been 2 1/2 years since I was DF'd. Until I reconnected with a friend, DNCall, in July of this year I basically tried to work through all these mixed, confused and angry feelings alone and in isolation. He let me know about this forum. I am grateful for the catharsis I enjoy coming here to read the thoughts of others dealing with the same or similar issues and learning how to better cope and move forward.

It's strange how the WT is so good at making you feel guilty for trying to live an authentic life and to be true to yourself. Now when I re-examine their twisted words it just makes me so angry! For example, what LWT quoted:

The same harmful emotion has turned apostates into vicious haters of their former brothers. - w95 9/15 p. 7

That is just so much bs I can hardly stand it! It's a complete lie!!! They are the ones that are "vicious haters," not me. I would dearly love be with my former friends and family that are still captive in the organization, just not under all the manipulative, lying conditions they put on everything.

Maybe, they are the "envious men," jealous of our freedom for getting out and slandering those of us with the courage to live free just to make themselves feel better.

00DAD

flipper: I just read your comment! Wow, my heart really goes out to you. I have two sons, 17 & 20. It's only been 2 1/2 years for me. In that time I've only talked to my oldest twice and even that was about "necessary business." My younger son waxes and wanes in our relationships. Sometimes he'll talk to me other times not.

The oldest has been baptized 5 years, I just found out the younger got baptized recently. I was really disappointed to learn that.

I'm trying to remain optimistic but it is really difficult!

Daniel

finallysomepride

bookmarking

JRK

LWT,

Great post for noobs, and good reminders for the rest of us.

JK

Ding

Generally speaking, I think it's worst for those born into or raised from childhood into the organization.

The WT mind control system is all they have known.

When they break free as teens or adults, they have to figure out who they are apart from the collective.

In the midst of all this, they have to deal with being shunned by family and all the "brothers and sisters" they have known.

00DAD

Ding, your comments are right on the money. I came into the organization in my early 20s. That was almost 25 years ago. Now I'm going back to where I was spiritually THEN to try and figure out who I am, or at least what my beliefs are, NOW.

When I was starting to wake up 10 or so years ago, I tried to talk to my then-wife about some of my questions and doubts concerning WT teachings. She, being a born-in, would not even consider the conversation. As a result we grew further and further apart. When we separated a little over 2 years ago she acknowledged that she withdrew from me. But sadly, as far as I can tell even to this day, she doesn't know why she withdrew. She can't admit it to her self. Now we are divorced.

I worry about my two sons, 20 and 17. We raised them according to what I thought then was "the best way of living." Both are baptised and this is, as Ding pointed out, all they have ever known.

Steven Hassan writes about getting in touch with your pre-cult personality after leaving a cult. But what do born-ins do? I actually wrote to him a month or so ago asking this very question in particular concerning my sons. So far I have not gotten a response.

The Impact of Leaving

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