I agree with everyone ,except Teary , and would like to add that it really doesn't matter what you do because you're not a jw. Your attendance will not help his hope for re-instatement. It kinda shines a light on why he may not be taken back. Unless you make a show of it and start a study, become an unbaptised publisher, get baptized and marry your bf I really don't see the point of your attending the meetings. If I was you I would stop.
Hello--new to the witnesses...and you
by LKM 85 Replies latest jw friends
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N.drew
There is another factor to consider. Even if you do everything correct by the Witness, meetings, study, baptism (you will have to lie-bad idea) and the field service, all that will NOT guarantee you will be shown hospitality by the witnesses. Fruitless, I say.
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james_woods
There is another factor to consider. Even if you do everything correct by the Witness, meetings, study, baptism (you will have to lie-bad idea) and the field service, all that will NOT guarantee you will be shown hospitality by the witnesses. Fruitless, I say.
This is a very good point - and certainly, just going to the meetings without getting baptized and going out to sell magazines will not get you there. "BTW - on a side point, if anyone needed further proof that Teary Oberon is a worthless divisive troll, keep this thread marked.
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outsmartthesystem
"1. Teary has not claimed to be an "active JW in good standing." Only you assumed that for the sake of your strawman and personal attacks."
Teary, if you are not an active JW in good standing then what is your purpose in posting the JW apologetic responses you've made thus far? Doing what Sizemik suggests (actually examining your previous posts and your blogs) shows that you clearly are a JW apologist. Please answer this question. Are you an active JW in good standing?
LKM - This should tell you something about JWs. This man IS an active JW apologist.....yet he quasi-denies it with his very first point mentioned above. And that's what you need to know about JWs. My honest opinion is that they rarely tell you flat out lies if they can help it. Rather....they twist the truth and suppress the truth and then use tricky wording to make their points seem valid. Take number 1 mentioned above. He says "Teary has not claimed to be an active JW in good standing. Only you assumed that for the sake of your strawman and personal attacks". This is very clever.....but can easily be seen through if you know what to look for. He has laid a typical JW trap. He didn't outright lie and say "I am not a JW in good standing". He said "Teary has not claimed to be an active JW in good standing". Theoretically, he told the truth. But not the WHOLE truth. Never once in this thread did he actually claim to be an active JW in good standing. But......ultimately that is what he is. He suppressed the truth through cunning word play. Instead of admitting that he IS an active JW.....he chose to focus on the fact that he never SAID he was. That, LKM is what witnesses do. They are masters at it. They divert your attention away from THE REAL POINT AT HAND and get you to focus on WHAT THE,Y WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT. In this case...the focus was taken off the fact that he IS an active witness apologist.....and instead re-focused on the fact that abiblestudent made an accusatory remark about it. The focus (Teary hopes) is now on the "personal attack" (which in reality was nothing more than a basic observation) being made by abiblestudent against Teary. It is all about diversion. They will divert your attention away from their false teachings, contradictions and false prophesies. The "trap" that I mentioned above? It is two fold. 1) Teary didn't lie.....he suppressed the whole truth. Therefore you cannot accuse him of being a liar without him saying "I didn't lie! See? Another baseless personal attack. These apostates are all the same", and 2) Teary tries to refocus your attention on the "attack" that was made against him (which was true).....since witnesses like to paint all ex-jw's with the same brush....calling them ravenous.....Satanic and mentally diseased.
What Teary said to abiblestudent is no different than me posting something in a different forum about the need to control pollutants and emissions. And then abiblestudent responds with a post of his/her own that says something like "there goes Outsmart again.....on his soapbox. I can't stand that democrat." And then I respond by saying "I never claimed to be a democrat! Only you assumed that for the sake of your strawman and personal attacks!" When....the fact is.....I AM a democrat. Did I lie? No. Never once did I actually claim to be a democrat. But I suppressed the FULL truth by not openly admitting it. And not only did I suppress the truth.....I tried to deflect the TRUE assumption that was made about me and instead get you to focus on the APPEARANCE that abiblestudent is attacking me....... as bitter and vindictive ex democrats all do. Would you consider my actions to be above reproach? Would you consider me to be forthright and honest? Well....you have a prime example of how JWs reason and act with one short comment made by Teary.
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OUTLAW
Teary won`t say if he`s a JW or not..
Teary likes to play games..
Teary is Twisted..
Teary has to screw his socks on in the morning..
.....................;-)...OUTLAW
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LKM
Hello Everyone,
Thanks for the replies... and I wish I had time to respond to everyone. Here are some more details:
6 years of dating, but no living together. We live in different towns. His family does not know we are together. His son who is 8 is having real issues with non-jw's b/c his mother tells them that they are "worldly" which seems to be a euphenism for "devil worshipper". I will not hang out with his son again for another month. in the mean time, he is going to apply for reinstatement and I'm going to go to meetings so that when we surprise everyone by being married it will be easier for them to digest. Bf thinks that if I act "open" to it his family will accept us a little more. But its really more about his son not being so confused at such a long age.
Our plan as the child gets older is to guide him away from jwism and to make sure he doesn't get baptized before he knows what he's getting into. I know what I'm getting into and have had years to think about it. I know what I'm doing is crazy... but I feel strong enough.
I was raised in an AG church. There's not a mandated shunning, but it can be implied. Also, you can join fully in one day --- just accept Jesus into your heart. Ag church is way more fun than jw KH... but equally as controlling. I just don't think the shunning is extreme like in jwism.
I am about to go to the KH for the second time. I feel like everyone is viewing me as fresh meat. I know its my own mind, but I feel like everyone is wondering why the heck I'm there...and they are all eager to know (is that true?)...Do people ever just "show up" on their own to a KH meeting like they do at regular church? UGH! I feel so awkward. My plan is to go late and leave early. The bf said I only have to go to 8-10 meetings alone....just so word gets around that I'm going on my own. If we go together and they find out he's with a worldy woman he can't get reinstated. Seems so silly. I'll play the game, but I'm not sure it will be successful. Its worth a shot...for love.
We both have questions on how to deal with the son. We don't want him to get confused.... or have to choose. But it seems like the religion is forcing that upon him. Its really sad and tragic. Breaks my heart. Ever since I became non-religious I've been way happier and I love exploring everything about life...I love new experiences and living creatively. I'm trying to see this as an "experience" and not so heavy. Thanks for all of your comments and support ... I even appreciate those who are telling me to "run, run run the other way." I know why you are saying that. Off I go to meeting #2. SIGH
LKM
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james_woods
I will not hang out with his son again for another month. in the mean time, he is going to apply for reinstatement and I'm going to go to meetings so that when we surprise everyone by being married it will be easier for them to digest. Bf thinks that if I act "open" to it his family will accept us a little more. But its really more about his son not being so confused at such a long age.
We both have questions on how to deal with the son. We don't want him to get confused.... or have to choose. But it seems like the religion is forcing that upon him. Its really sad and tragic. Breaks my heart. Ever since I became non-religious I've been way happier and I love exploring everything about life...I love new experiences and living creatively.
I am going to be blunt - I do not see any hope of this plan working.
What I see it doing is to facilitate making this boy into a full-fledged witness and causing you both a minimum of 10 years of JW cult hell.
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OUTLAW
If we go together and they find out he's with a worldy woman he can't get reinstated. Seems so silly.
I'll play the game, but I'm not sure it will be successful. Its worth a shot...for love......LKM
The game is going to get much more complicated than you can imagine..
Your going to have a crowd of self rightous strangers,endlessly poking their noses into your life..
It`s easier to end the charade now than later..
Later will be a Shit Storm..
......................;-)...OUTLAW
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james_woods
I just wanted to add this -
LKM, if we seem to be discouraging - remember: We have all been there. This is a classic high control religious cult.
If you get attached to it, they will never give up trying to spy on you, influence your behavior, control you.
The only way to win against this cult is to get out once you realize the truth about them - or, in your case - to stay out.
My vote is to tell your signifigant other to make a choice - no more JW connection, or else no more ME.
I know that hurts now, but it will save you years of suffering either way it works out.
And pay no attention to the idiot troll Teary Oberon - he is a wannabe witness who has been trying to raise trouble here for a month or so - that is all.